My car died today, not just oh dear, that's a nuisance will need to get that fixed, oh no, not just that way. It has been 'off' for a while, the gear box moves when I accelerate, there has been a droning noise that could no longer be drowned out by Heart FM. The brakes were grinding and that worried me enough to think that perhaps I should get that checked out, so I squirrelled some money away, took a deep breath and today I put it in the garage f or a service, I thought I would give it a real treat as it has been such a splendid car and even though we have had it for 18 months or more I still feel happy when I return to it after shopping. It has been a great car and caused me no trouble, it starts first time, even in the freezing winter temperatures. I pat it often and tell it I am pleased with it and so, because I like it I was going to let it have all new filters and fluids, new brakes and make it feel all beloved.
It was with the mechanics for 2 hours when they called and told me, forgive me for not remembering everything they said, that the following problems were evident.
Engine mounts ...stuffed, broken, dangerous.
Gearbox mounts...as above.
Wheel bearings ( all) knackered.
1 tyre was split and very dangerous.
Cylinders, all shot and gone to hell.
CV joint split, dead, leaking, hopelessly gone.
Steering mount, buggered.
I stopped him there with a feeble " That's not good is it? As in no point carrying on "
Then he told me that it would cost considerably more than a replacement car.
Oh.
I cried, for an acceptable length of time, perhaps 10 minutes because after all, it is a car, a lump of metal, an inanimate object. It is my inanimate object though and it offers me such freedom. I loved that it was paid for and non worrisome, I never had to wonder where a payment was coming from and I like that in a car.
I do dream of a jazzy auto and will admit to more than a fleeting stab of envy when my uncle showed me his brand spanking new 7 seater, that he drives around with 2 of the seats removed. I would love to own a shiny car with leather smell and impressive extras but deep down, I like paid for much more.
I live in a place with narrow, bendy roads, more often than not I am shoved into a hedgerow by some road hog in a bigger, smarter car and the sides of my cars get scratched, I see those scratches and will tut and sigh and then shrug my shoulders because, hey it's 10 years old, it starts every time, it makes me happy and it's paid for, so what?
I have to park my car right up to the wall and every day little boys rush past with their scooters or bikes and more often than not they scrape the car. A new car would have me neurotic and shaking every time the possibility of a scratch or a ding, life is just too short to worry about lumps of metal that can't be scraped up a bit.
So, not a new car for me, no payments because even if anyone would give me credit I would just end up hating the car if it came to worrying about how to pay for it. So I need to find one that I can afford, that is economical to run and that I will smile at when I return with a full trolley of shopping.
That's a pretty tall order when you see my bank balance and look at the cars available. I think it might take a while, not a long while but a while nonetheless.
I don't think it will hurt me, walking is a good form of exercise, one that I hate must be said but I can do it and I expect I will save lots of money because there is no way I am stomping up this hill with bags of shopping, no way at all. I shall pick up what we need or H will go, my friend has chickens and she delivers glorious free range eggs and this very evening is bringing organic sausages and pork chops from her very own reared pig.
All the supermarkets deliver if you shop online.
The hardest part for me will be walking to pick the boys up every day, no sitting in my car reading magazines, but walking, up hills and down dales in all weathers, standing at the gate until they open and then waiting for the boys and following behind wheezing "WAIT!" while they shoot ahead on scooters. I won't like that and I'm not going to pretend I will!
I am always amazed at the things I see and hear when I walk somewhere. Walking behind a lady wearing corduroy trousers and hearing that 'zipp' noise.
Walking behind a young man and wondering how he would react if I stopped him to tell him he really ought to get some sturdy walking shoes because those flimsy canvas ones are damaging his ankles with every step.
I see houses I didn't know existed, hear all manner of conversation as people speak with loud voices, oblivious to everyone around them.
It has been glorious weather here lately, of course, today, as soon as I got that phone call the heavens opened and haven't closed yet, rain and more rain. Isn't that just sod's law?
I am sad that my lovely car is no more and I am a little puzzled about what to do with it, the engine is great, the mechanic told me, it still looks new in fact and works like a charm. it's the stuff that's meant to be holding it in that's useless. I hate to just scrap it, surely someone could make use of the beautiful engine and the splendid seats and such. This is when you need someone 'in the know' Someone who could say ' Take it here! ' they will help you.
Fat lot of hood it is having all these sons and all they can do is cook ..I know how to cook, why didn't they learn mechanics and manly pursuits like that?
Bloody chefs indeed.
Jordan cooked dinner for 157 mothers on mother's day and let me tell you not one of them was ME... blasted ingrate.
I am surprisingly calm about the whole thing, maybe at last I am learning the art of thinking that if there is nothing I can do about it there is no point fretting about it. That would be lovely and not before time.
I hope that when we can get another car I can get a 7 seater so that Joshua can come with us when we go out, if we can't, oh well.
I am feeling lucky that for me, it is the worry of how to buy a car while others are worrying about how they will pay for the roof over their heads, where the next meal is coming from and some are dealing with real life or death worries. My troubles are blissfully small and I am sure that given a little time we will have a car that will do for us what we need it to do.
Ask me how I feel when I have had to walk everywhere for 3 weeks.
OOOOOH Isaac's friend was here for tea, his mum came to get him and said that her husband is in the auto trade and she's pretty sure she can find someone that will buy the car for parts etc...that's be great, anything towards a new one will be helpful. Still sad at the thought that it will be stripped down and it's poor useless carcass crushed. But I'll get over it.