It's the little things.

I said yesterday that even in the midst of my funk, I was grateful for rechargeable batteries. And I am. I am very pleased that I am able to still feel glad about things when I am miserable. When it was bedtime last night and I was putting the batteries in the lantern for Isaac I really did stop feeling at loggerheads with the world for a second to think " rechargeable batteries and just the best thing, every night he gets to take his lantern to bed and leave it on til these batteries run out and it doesn't matter" He wakes up if we turn the lantern off, no matter how deeply asleep he is, he knows when his light goes out.

I have yet to walk into the bathroom in this house and not feel an overwhelming sense of gratitude and comfort. The water boiler and the gas central heating boiler is in the bathroom, as well as a radiator and it is, quite frankly the cosiest and most relaxing bathroom I have ever had .

Although I am unbelievably frustrated by whatever this malady ( is that a great word? Don't you just picture a wilting lady with arm across her forehead sighing with the drama of it all?) is that sucks every ounce of energy from me ( I woke up at 7am, saw the boys off to school, ate breakfast with H, slept until 12, picked the boys up from school, cooked and ate dinner, had bath number 2 and slept until 8pm) however low it makes me feel to sit in a room that needs a darn good dragging out and scrubbing but has to be satisfied with a tidy and a promise of more later, I am immensely grateful that it is possible for me to sleep when I can't stand up another minute, that I have a husband who never comments on mess but just gets on with cleaning it. ( He is, I know, having a tough time with the crappy dinners he is getting though, he hasn't said a word but I know that this man's heart is so ruled by his stomach and he loves good home cooked meals, I manage to cook a 'real' meal maybe once a week, the rest of the time it is something thrown together that has been taken out of a box, this is not a happy thing for either of us)

I am so enjoying Seth at the moment and this is a huge deal, Seth is a smart kid, he never misses a trick and his mouth runs away with him at times, he reminds me of Sophie quite often in that he has trouble stopping when he needs to stop. However, at the grand old age of 7 and a half he listens, he remembers and he learns, that gives me hope, I am beginning to see that there is hope for a great life with this boy, it is not written in stone that he will fight me his whole life, I have learned a lot from raising Sophie and know where I went wrong, I hope not to make those same mistakes again.
I get the biggest kick from watching Seth from a distance, he is a fascinating boy. He really loves basketball and plays for hours, on his own, with the kids from school, everywhere he goes he plays. I used to worry about him because he just had no idea how to play, as a tiny boy it was all about learning, all about facts and being right, talking and talking and learning and repeating. When he started school he just didn't understand about play and was a little bemused by these little people, kids! What are they all about? Much more at home with adults having 'discussions'. Now he is so old, well he pretty much seems to have it all. He 'gets 'it, I sat and watched him after school, head and shoulders smaller than the other kids at the basketball hoop in the playground, big tall kids coming up and high fiving him and they began to choose teams, the first big kid said " I'm having Seth on my team" and the other biggest kid said " If you have him, I get everyone else because he is the best in year 3......it's not fair that you get him and anyone else" That was cool in itself but the fact that not one of the other kids argued was incredible to me.
I did notice that as the boys were 'playing' ( which means, because they are aged 7-9) they bounced and then threw hoops, enjoying every minute, Seth was bellowing out rules, he was naming shots and commenting on technique. Seth's idea of entertainment when his little sparrow legs just can't leap and bounce another second, is to sit and download instructional clips on basketball.
Grandpa called the other day and had a word with Seth, which lasted close to 45 minutes, grandpa made the mistake of mentioning a game he'd seen....Seth looks up, watches, reads and remembers, he knows who played what game, who scored, where they played, who won, he remembers what date the game was and he doesn't forget a detail.
They do watch an NBA thing once a week ( twice this week, oh heavenly joy) but H and I just can't get how he finds this other stuff out, he is so busy outside until we drag him in, he eats, he has maybe an hour on the laptop....does he have some kind of antennae that picks up all these facts while he sleeps and stores them until just the right moment?

I get enormous pleasure from Elijah's delicious laid back attitude, not a day goes by when he doesn't crack our faces with a grin, his catch phrases are " ne'er mind" and " it don't matter"
In this house filled with uptight people, who have obsessions and obsessive compulsive behaviours, to watch this littlest boy in his unmatching clothes, in odd socks, eating whatever is placed in front of, who can spill food and drink ( and oooooohie can he spill stuff) all over himself and the floor and just shrug his shoulders and say "It don't matter" is like balm to my soul.
He wanders out of his classroom every day in various states of undress, shirt on back to front, inside out or sometimes not on at all. If he can't find his shoes in the morning ( WHEN he can't find his shoes, Elijah's shoes are never both in the same place, ever, I think he must take one shoe off and then get side tracked and 30 minutes later he takes the other one off in a different room, ) he says, with a shrug " Ne're mind, I'll wear neez ones!" and hold up a pair of mine! He is just what the doctor ordered. Last night, when he was just so horrible, when he had driven me to the end of my extension on my tether, I sat him next to me on the sofa and said ( very firmly)
"sit there, do not move, do not speak, you have been beyond naughty and I am having a very hard time liking you right now, if you move once more from that spot you are going right to bed, no more chances" he sat next to me, with huge fat tears plopping down his cheeks and said " Oh, I duss tan't a-lieve diss, I am so sad, I tan't stand it you are so mad wiff me"
He is delicious and when he woke up this morning, his first words were " LOOK! Today I am a DOOD boy, see? See I am a dood boy? That's great isn't it?" and it was indeed.

And I am still really grateful for rechargeable batteries.