topics to blog about. Or not.

I am frustrated. Yes I am. I want to blog and write and spill and I can't.
I have stuff to say, but I can't.
Yet.
Then there are things to blog about that interest me but wouldn't interest anyone else and I am such a tart that I must feel I am captivating people and keeping them intrigued.
THEN and I swore I wouldn't let myself ever fall into this trap.....I wonder if certain people read this and then that gags me because I don't want those people to see what I am thinking so I don't blog about it and before you know it, I am blethering on about the bloody weather and my health ( speaking of which, what IS with this broken but not really, just feels like it arm? WHAT?) any day now we'll be onto bowel movements and that really ought to be avoided at all costs.
I could talk about ageing because good heavens, I am doing that at a rate that takes my breath away ( huff puff) and more and more I find myself wondering if really I should be having shorter hair because older ladies look haggard with long hair, haggard or desperate to look younger. Also when should one stop dying hair and grow grey gracefully ( not when one has children in junior school, that's for sure!) and if one is going to continue to dye ones hair, what about the eyebrows because brown hair and gray eyebrows? Such a give away!
How has H managed to become almost 50 and still have buttocks of steel and not a wrinkle in sight? Is it that glorious olive skin? My goodness but he is a splendid specimen and I have so much to say about him that is both complimentary and gushing but again...can't.
Yet.
*Sigh*
I often see older ladies who are so smart, so well dressed and coiffed and made up and I look on and wonder if I will be like them when I am older and WHOOPS if I didn't already get older and the answer is quite frankly, no, I will not be like them, I will be like ME, in my cotton trader t-shirts and crocs. I think I may be one of those old ladies that young whippersnappers look at sideways and give thanks that they aren't ever going to become like.
I do love being older in many ways, being comfy is so OK, no-one expects an old lady to wear high heeled pointy shoes, no-one thinks twice at an older lady buying elasticated waist trousers and actually a few weeks ago, I went to Marks and Spencers to buy some sturdy knickers for 'that time of the month' ( which is still regular as clockwork by heavens if my reproductive system isn't to be admired, old I may be but that menopause is a good way off if you ask me!) anyway I wanted to be sure they were comfy so I bought a size up from my regular size and by mistake I bought BIG ones, not briefs ( I definitely did not want those high leg nonsensical kind, not with my arse) When I opened the pack I snorted because, well, those babies are HUGE, even for me, I held them up and was so torn ,half of me wanted to run downstairs and show Sophie and H and exclaim over their enormity and the other half was rightfully ashamed, anyway now the pack was open and I really needed some sturdy pants RIGHT now..so put a pair on and OMG...these have to be the most comfortable under garments I have ever covered my substantial bottom with. I kid you not I stood and oooooooohed and I was so gloriously happy to wear them! I must admit that I have managed to hide them from H and have avoided any possibly uncomfortable moments of being seen actually wearing them ( although why I have no idea, H could possible find them fetching, he does, after all find gingham strangely alluring) but let me tell you, every month, when Aunt Flo comes a visiting, the sting is taken out by the promise of a few days of the most comfortable bottom hugging by underwear you could possibly imagine and ask yourself what young girl would ever allow herself the joy of buying and then wearing with such glee such huge and flowery ( yes 2 pairs actually have floral bouquets on them, I really have no shame!) bloomers? None, that's how many, nope they feel obliged to wear dental floss and live with a perpetual wedgie rather than embrace comfort.
When you are old you can say things that young people wouldn't dare, things don't embarrass you the way they used to. I love allowing young people to think they know it all and knowing that actually, they would be shocked by the things I know.
I feel so much more powerful and in charge than I ever did as a young woman, I look back over the years and think about how important I thought things were and how I see now so much more clearly how none of it matters really.
I don't like the way getting older makes my body feel. What is with the aching? I swear I don't go through a single day without grunting, groaning or wincing about some ache or other. It makes me mad to think it is more than likely just my poor old body complaining. I am irritated by how hard it is to get up off the floor sometimes, if I have been sitting too long on the floor or heaven forbid, kneeling I alternate between laughing and cursing the fact that my ankles have set or my knees don't want to work.
The boys are losing all the little boy things, Eli still has the most impressive lisp and the remnants if chubby cheeks but Seth and Isaac are getting to be big boys, thinning faces, big teeth, the way they walk is becoming more of a strut.
I had parent teacher consults today for Seth and Isaac.
Seth is, as usual, on top of his class, reading at an age of 10 yrs 3 months and spelling at an age of 11 yrs 6 months, now tell me this.....how is it possible to spell better than you read? Does he look at a word and say " well blow me, no idea what that word is, but I can spell it?" Also, what 10 yr 3 month old child is he being compared to? Who decided which 11 year 6 month old child will be the marker for all children when spelling is tested?
Isaac, well his teacher simply said " he is incredible, we are all stunned by him....he not only answers the register but he does it in french...he speaks to everyone, to the point of being almost a loud mouth, he plays, he joins in, he is working hard and we are all completely blown away by him and there really isn't anything else to say!" What a star that boy is!
Eli's is on thursday, I wonder what they will have to say about my littlest boy.
I feel sometimes as though time is hurtling away from me. I have to grasp every minute before I find myself looking around and wondering what happened.
So many memories already and so many more to come......and you can bet I will blog about them all, bowel movements excepted!