Yes, that's tit.

Only fleetingly, once, as it ran from behind the fireplace to behind the TV.
I have heard it, over and over again, every night, as soon as H goes to bed that damned thing is crunching and scratching. I have bought trap, fancy schmancy 'kind' traps, kind my arse, useless is the word, haven't been touched, that mouse laughs in the face of fancy gum filled traps.
I am so glad no-one can see me, when I am alone in this vermin infested front room ( poetic license, there is one mouse, no more than 2-3 inches long, it is the most stubborn and evasive mouse in the entire world though) I sit with my legs up on the stool, if I get crampy legs and put them down I am like some sort of twitching idiot with no control over my feet, legs or mouth. TWITCH...SHIT! Jump Argh!
I sat here just now and the corner of the blanket touched the top of my foot and dear life if I didn't jump up and shriek like some dopey girl.
Sophie is remarkably brave about it, that could be in part down to the fact that she usually walks in from a night out to see me sitting rigid with the volume of the TV muted and my head cocked to one side hissing "SHHHHHHH! Can you her it? LISTEN..shhhhhhhh, damn thing has shut up, it's determined to send me insane....listen no listen!!" and she listens but she listens so LOUDLY, she burps, laughs and then 2 nights ago she said she was going to catch it and keep it for a pet ( alcohol, responsible for many a foolish idea) It would have been hysterical if it wasn't so late. Midnight and she was determined to catch this bloody mouse.
She had a huge tupperware container, hardly any clothes on ( HOT! She was HOT, "SHUT UP! who's going to SEE ME?!") she lay on the floor and mouse whisperer she is not.
It seemed ( to Sophie, not me) that the very best idea in the WHOLE UNIVERSE would be to take ALL the furniture out of the front room. "ALL OF IT! Come ON! Now. Help me then!!"
The more I shhhhhushed her and explained it was midnight and people were sleeping, the louder she became. She scared the mouse away and she set up a rather elaborate blockade made with videos ( the boys have been having video fests during this endless rain, handy it turns out.) which I have been to afraid to move, I thought that the mouse might have realised that it's chances of living happily here are so slim it wasn't worth hanging around but this evening it's back, I heard it and now here I am again, legs up, breathing as quietly as I can, trying to convince myself that I am TOUGH and the mouse is so little and can't hurt me. TO no avail of course.
I should just mention that the mouse might *try* to make me insane but it is failing.
I know this because despite forgetting my trousers and details such as where my children are having tea, I passed the mini mental test with flying colours. Yes indeedy, there's no fooling me, I answered those questions with my head held high and both my doctor and I managed to get through it without laughing. Much.
Yes, I was able to identify and name a pen.
I was able to write a complete sentence, with punctuation.
I repeated and remembered a whole 45 seconds later, Bike, Garden, Shop.
I copied a complex diagram of interlocking hexagonal shapes.
I even knew what day it is.
There is no fooling me, try if you dare.

On a totally new note, it is H's 50th birthday on Sunday. He doesn't like birthdays at the best of times, he doesn't make a fuss on anyone else's birthday and he certainly doesn't want anyone to make a fuss on his, especially this one. I feel that 50 is a huge deal and I so want to mark it somehow but the very mention makes his eyebrows shoot up and it is quite clear that he won't be happy if we do anything. I wish I could just be happy that the pressure is off but it's sad not to mark such a great birthday.
Oh well we shall enjoy Isaac's the next day instead.
Perhaps knowing his wife isn't quite entering her second childhood is enough of a gift for him, yes, I think that's it. ( and I so did just type, yes that's tit, which was really funny, should have left it there for you to see.)