I tell you what.....

Oh I am so tired. Really, really tired.

I have often been tired in my life.

Working long shifts as a nurse tired, pregnant tired, young mother tired, young mother pregnant again tired ( ooh that's a good one that is) older mother having babies at the same time as parenting teenagers ( 4) tired ( I want to think of a great word to describe that one, 'shit' is the only word that springs to mind) THEN how about old ( 40+) mother of new baby at the same time as parenting teenagers and being pregnant AGAIN tired, huh? How about that one then? I defy you to beat that one, you won't. Not until you get to the old mother, who has young boys ( 3) and a 21 year old teenager still at home and is also a grandmother tired.

I am the winner.

The reason this tired wins over the other tireds ( yes, it is a word, I just wrote it, there is your proof) is because your body tell syou are tried in such undeniable ways.

It is, after a certain age, impossible to pick anything up off the floor without 'Oofing' darn that sock - 'oof ' Quick toddler is coming, move those little toys off the floor in case he eats them - ' oof '

It becomes increasingly difficult to get up from squishy sofas as you get older, the mind is willing but the knees just won't do it.

It takes longer to recover from bursts of impulsive activity, still keen to do such things the body will comply and the nearly 50 yr old mind will thrill as it realises that 'look at you! You are keeping up and doing all these fun things with all these whippersnappers! Why, you're naught but a spring chicken' oh it's lovely, then you get home and sit down and oh, oh dear me, things start to seize up. I am, it has to be said, a grand form of entertainment 'round about 8pm on a day when I have been busy and active. I get up and darn it if my heels don't like to touch the floor and my hips feel all out of place and I do an almost dance like walk along the hallway, accompanied by a veritable aria of " ooooh , oof, ow, oh my' s" I remember how we would laugh at my mum when we had knelt to say family prayers, when we said 'Amen' we would all sit quietly and wait for my mum to get up and then howl with laughter at the way her toes would stay curled up and she would hobble back to her chair 'ooing' all the way. I laugh on the other side of my face now because at least she was able to get up off the floor without crawling to a chair and hoisting herself. That'll teach me.

I was in the car today for an hour and a half while Mel and Jordan went to have a scan ( yes I am going to be a gramma again in June, HOORAH!) I had Isaac, Eli and Joshua with me and that is why, this evening, I feel my age and some.

What is it about 2 year olds that hurts so much, their shoes seem to find every tender part of a person's body, shins, toes, thighs. Those sharp little elbows dig in to old and tender bosoms as they help a little person crawl over your head to reach something intriguing. Little fingernails are so sharp as the pinch and scrape on the way past to exciting treasures. Shall we talk about the headbutting? "Sit on gramma's lap and look at this boo"....CRUNCH....'Sowwy Mam-mar!" Off he goes again.

2 year old people are so fascinated by everything "Mam-mar, dot new sarsses?" "Yes, I have got new glasses, no touchi....." POKE. " Sowwy Mam-mar" off he goes.

My mum has told me often that of all the people in the world to have lots of children, I am the least likely because I can't cope with noise. Noise, to me is painful. I love quiet. I crave quiet and as much as I like busy, as much as I adore people, sometimes the noise nearly kills me.

As well as my not dealing with noise well, the Lord ( because He has the most incredible sense of humour) gave me the loudest children, no, really they are VERY, VERY LOUD. The older they get, the louder they become. They all have BOOMING voices, voices that carry, even when they whisper ( which isn't often) I grudgingly believe they get that from me because many is the time I have had people say to me " I heard you in town the other day" Where most people will get " I *saw* you in town"
For the most part, I love having all my eggs in one basket, all my children in one place. I try to stand back and watch how they all interact and never am I disappointed. I especially love to watch Dan and Jordan with the little boys. They are totally different with Seth, Isaac and Eli than with any other child. Jordan is most definitely a father to Joshua, he is big brother to the boys. He lets go of the teacher, disciplinarian, consequences matter part of being older and he absolutely gives into his inner child with his brothers. I love the way both he and Daniel treat them so boisterously, my heart is in my mouth half the time as I watch these skinny little boys being picked up and thrown, tripped up, bundled and shoved in a testosterone fuelled melee of chaos and noise. I sometimes gasp at the seemingly careless way they 'play' with them and only manage to stop myself interfering when I realise that the overriding sound is one of undiluted belly laughing, are boys freaks or what? What can be fun about being flung all over the place and shoved across the room onto your face? I don't get it but I do get that they love it.
Dan said he was coming down this weekend, I wish he wouldn't say until he was on his way because Seth counts the minutes, he asks repeatedly when Dan is coming, what time, is he coming for real and now, now he has his own Ipod touch, one that can make calls ( Don't ask me, how can something that isn't a phone make phone calls? HOW?) and today I found him out in the porch calling Dan to make sure he is really coming, for real ...what time? We still don't know if he is coming, gah.....little boys being disappointed is horrible.
What am I trying to say here? I've been at this for HOURS, actual HOURS I tell you and yet, I tell you nothing. Zilch.
I'm tired though, I can tell you that.