Beginning to be birthday'd out.

HA ha....still have the internet ( but no e.mail, oh well will just use yahoo for a few days!) should be back on all cylinders by saturday, here's hoping.


H's birthday today, he chose to take the bigger boys on a hike and so was out for 4 hours...which meant that the boy and I got to go shopping and take a nap! Sophie babysat while we went up to Jordan's place of work where he cooked a divine dinner , he made us garlic mushrooms with mozarrella cheese and yummy bread. Roast beef with sauted new potatoes, cabbage, carrots and delicious gravy and then summer fruit cheesecake and cream....of course it all came presented beautifully which kind of made the other customers getting their pub grub look at us askew! we had teeny tiny strands of crunchy sugar twisted over the dessert " Hey Jordan..mine plate's got hair on it!" Such sophistication my husband has!! Jordan wouldn't even let us buy drinks, when we went to the bar we were told that they had been forbidden to take any money, Happy Birthday H !

Tomorrow is Isaac's birthday, my Isaac, " no. sing .happy. birt-day. a me. mummy. me. no. wot. singing. at. me" I am breathless with excitement about his birthday as he has more power ranger treasure than he could possibly imagine ( a bit worrying that for 2 days he has been rattling on about trantpormers..which I imagine mean stransformers), we can but hope that power rangers are still as longed for as they were last week when I risked life and limb in the disney store to buy it all.
Seth is being beyond touching as he has spent all day saying " happy birthday daddy...Isaac's birthday tomorrow not mine, (he whispers) then it's our party, THEN it's my birthday." such a hard concept for a little person to grasp, 12 days is a long time to wait when you have watched mummy, daddy and 3 brothers all have their birthday and you're so painfully desperate to be 5, I think he is having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that for 12 days he will be 4 and so will Isaac ( hmmmm but I am OLDER than Isaac!!" )


I've had a headache week this week, filling in forms for Isaac, making appointments for Isaac, making endless phone calls and having discussions about early intervention groups where both H and I go along for 5 weeks along with one of his teachers and learn some things that we will work together on so that at home and school we are on the same page.
I do find it hard that in order to get him all the help he needs we have to paint the worst picture and of course everyone else actually SEES the worst picture. On one of the forms today his teacher had written " We here at school feel that Isaac has significant special needs and I am confident that he will be statemented by the county" Now her writing this helps us no end but seeing it in black and white is just so hard.
I know that actually I have to remember that we are doing all of this because he DOES have special needs and although here at home we are treated to the most divine insight into his mind, everywhere else he is like a little lost soul in a shell. H hasn't ever seen him so withdrawn as I do all the outside stuff, I imagine it will be like a punch when H does witness just how different he is outside our little world.
We have already heard that the board of education has asked for another assessment of Isaac and his needs, so we will go back to the hospital where they will assess every aspect of his autism that can affect his education....I worry that he will always get the worst assessments and then I tell myself that if he doesn't ever show the side of him that WE see it is an indication that he IS in need of prolonged and significant help and support ( another sentance written about him by someone else!!) It is bizarre to see this cheeky, laughing, energetic boy become a staring, silent, fear filled little man whenever he feels out of his depth. I am just so thrilled that we DO see such fun from him as so many parents never see anything but the blank expression and fear....counting my blessings eternally on that I promise you.
So, tomorrow my Isaac will be 4..what was life like without him in it? I think we must all have just been treading water and pretending to be happy.
I shall write his birth story but don't blink or you'll miss it!