I was a good girl, I was.

Yesterday I got an e.mail from my dad that had a picture attached, the point of the e.mail was for me to guess who the person in the picture was. I couldn't, I strained my eyes and misted up the screen with the breath from my flared nostrils in an unsuccessful effort to see who I was looking at. A man in a canoe with a sweet little boy of about 4. Nope, couldn't get it and so because things like that drive me CRAZY I had to call dad and tell him I had no idea!
Who was it? It was a blast from my past.
My first crush actually, Martyn. Actually it was Martin but it was cooler to spell with an 'Y' and he was SO cool. He could play any musical instrument he felt like playing and I loved to hear him play and sing. He sang to me once, across a crowded room....ahhhhh such romance!
He had dark hair and a grin that made my mum forbid him entry into our house! I sang with him and I was friends with his sister. We grew up together and unlike th eother boys I grew up with, there was a time when he stopped being a yukky boy and became a bit of a gorgeous one, who always seemed to be going out with my friends!
I think we had the shortest foray into pretending to be an item but I was a good girl, I was, I think Martyn wanted more than I could ever offer and so we just stayed best friends. The great thing about being best friends is that it lasts so much longer.
We stayed friends even when we both married the wrong people. Before we married the wrong people, we were the kind of friends that everyone should have. He was a great friend to me. During my very first heartbreak, he was there , every day. He would often come over and spend the night and just sit with me til I fell asleep, I'd wake up in the morning and he would have gone home but would come right back if I asked him to. We wrote songs and even recorded one. What memories that had slipped away and thought forgotten.
When my first marriage ended Martyn was there again but not for long, maybe we had both changed too much of needed different things and we lost touch. So, strange to see the picture and not recognise him because in our heads, we keep the people we know the same as when they were important to us and of course, like me, Martyn is in his 40's , so his hair isn't dark like it was, he isn't wearing a skin tight, sleeveless, t-shirt to show off his gymed up muscles because he is a dad ( and it's not 1988!!) and thank goodness it looks as though he knows what is important now.
I wondered if Martyn would ever be a dad and I am happy that he is. I hope he is as good a dad as I imagine he is. He learned what a good dad is the hard way, by seeing what a good dad isn't. He was let down too much when he was growing up and somehow still managed to stay kind and loving. He tried to be other things but to me he couldn't do it. Because I was 'just' his friend, I got to see what many other girls didn't and that was the real person. The real Martyn was nice and I was glad to be his friend for such a long time. He's Martin now because being cool isn't the most important thing and he's grown up, I wonder what the grown up version is like.
I like blasts from the past, it doesn't hurt to go back sometimes and remember how things were, I'd forgotten what I used to be and I really WAS a good girl, I was.