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Location: United Kingdom

Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Almost, but not quite.

I think, in fact I almost know that it Is possible to die whilst laughing, I almost did today. I can't remember the last time I laughed the way I did today, gulping, unable to breathe in, whistling 'til you drop laughing. I was afraid at the same time as just heaving with mirth.
Why you ask? Well, I shall tell you.
Mel had an appointment with her midwife this morning, hoorah, progress, the midwifes words were " you can't be more ready without actually being in labour, 2cms dilated, fully effaced and the baby's head is so low she could stroke it, +2 station then. Memories swept ( oh that phrase will always be now won't it? Never a membrane sweep, always a memory sweep ) and it worked! Mel totally forgot all her previous frustration, such hope and griping contractions......hoorah!
So we went shopping, we had lunch, we did more shopping with ooofing and ooh hang on. let me grab you-ing.
We did reflexology, we ate, walked and we walked some more.
We went into TKMaxx and looked at the lovely things, baby clothes, grown up clothes and shoes. Oh the shoes! Jordan saw a pair of basketball boots and he put them on and that was my undoing, these were the biggest shoes any of us have ever seen in our lives, they were a size 20, which I think is a 22 in the states. They were HUGE, now Jordan has enormous feet, long thin feet.....but these shoes on the end of his long lanky legs, oh dear.
I laughed and I laughed, he laughed and we couldn't see Mel and as I gasped for breath and somehow told him he mustn't take them off, I called her cell phone..she answered but it was too late, I had passed the point of being able to speak, while she "What?? WHAT? I have no idea what you are saying??!!!" I managed to wheeze "Shoes..come to shoes..." and I knew that if she laughed the way I was, she would have that baby right there in the shoe aisle of TKMaxx.
She didn't find them half as funny as I did though, she just stood open mouthed asking what size they were...until she tried them on and they stuck out further than her belly and then she laughed and I still laughed! I really thought I might die, almost but not quite.
I did of course take pictures, but only had my cell phone and I can't for the life of me work out how to get them from phone to PC, I have set up, downloaded, sync'd and given up. Darn it.
My chest ached for a long time after that laugh, and I felt so charged and ready, for what? For this baby. He is coming, he really is but he is as laid back as his parents and will do what he needs to do.
We have added red raspberry leaf tea to the regime, purely because it can't hurt. I drank raspberry leaf tea with 5 of my pregnancies, I swear by it but I drank it from 24 weeks, every day and at the end of my pregnancies I upped the intake to 3 cups of very strong tea a day. After each easy labour, without fail the placenta has been admired and the cord marvelled over. It works, it does not start labour but it sure as eggs makes it work when its going. It increases a great blood supply and helps the uterus contract effectively.
Anything that can't hurt and may help is being brought in.
There have been many contractions since this morning, not regular but often, they have been mild and some have been enough to make Mel grimace and life her bottom of the seat, she has climbed stairs and more stairs and has been doubled over with some great contractions.
We have no idea what will happen, I am convinced that the time is very close, the biggest pointer is that it appears that Jordan is driving her insane. By his very being, he is wrong, annoying and anyway why is he HERE?! By the way...don't TOUCH me. How cool is that? If you ask me, in my vast experience of impending motherhood....she's almost there. I have yet to meet a woman who adores her partner while in labour, I have no idea why we turn into snarling animal like creatures when we are birthing our babies, I don't understand why the very presence of the father of our baby is so irritating to us, if they try to leave or even suggest perhaps going outside for a breath of fresh air after being stuck in that delivery room for 18 hours, well see how that goes over don't leave til I say you can leave and it is not yet, no its not....but just don't touch me unless I say and then do it right or heaven help me you will feel the pain as deeply as I do. Oh....and don't breathe on me because it hurts, your breath hurts, in fact, to be safe, just don't breathe. At all. Until I say so.
The power we women have when we are reproducing is phenomenal, we are not to be messed with are we?
So, right now ( having just had a call from Jordan) they contractions have begun in earnest, they are hurting, we like hurt. Is he coming, this grandson of mine? Well, almost, but not quite.

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Blogger TN said...

Helen, have you tried sending them to your e-mail addy from your phone. That's what I do, because I don't have a clue how to upload them to my computer. I'm dying to see the shoes.

10:53 pm  
Blogger Julie Q said...

Oh little baby, we are waiting too!! :)

He he to the shoes! My big boy wears a 13 and those are hard enough to find! :)

11:30 pm  
Blogger sarah said...

happy safe healthy labor vibes to mel. I hope it isnt to bad for her. lol at the shoes.

12:15 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Must find a way to get the picture on to your computer so we can laugh as much as you did. I laughed reading this and can't even imagine seeing it!

Tomorrow might be the day. Brad and Anjolie's babies can't hold a candle over your grand baby's arrival. He is everyone's grand baby!

Love you!

1:32 am  
Blogger Beanhead said...

Okay, because I am a sap....I started to cry when I read this post. I am one of those women that LOVE labor. It aches my heart to know that we are done and I will never give birth to another child (more than likely...never say never).

Women ARE amazing. The strength that we pull from the depths of our soul is truly a godsend.

May Mel and Jordan, enjoy what they are about the embark on. It truly is amazing and wonderful....


**Oh dear, now the tears are really starting LOL

1:44 am  
Blogger Stetch said...

oh boy lol you really gave me a chuckle this morning!! Hope the baby comes soon, and quickly (and as darn painlessly as humanly possible, *grin*).

11:44 am  
Blogger Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

Oh I would have so dearly loved to see those shoes on Mel! LOL

Keeping you in my thoughts, prayers for a quick and easy delivery!

12:16 pm  
Blogger MamaTink said...

I am sooooooo excited!!!! I can't WAIT!! I want you to be a Nana NOW!!!!!!


3:25 pm  
Blogger Becca said...

Helen, we need a daily update on the status of little grandbaby, just a simple "he's here" or "he's not" will do us grand. Good luck to Mel...

12:27 am  

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