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Location: United Kingdom

Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Monday, June 09, 2008

Settling in.

Little blond head that just begs to be kissed and sniffed and kissed some more.

And little kissy mouth that we love to just look at and exclaim over.

He is a good baby and I might have had a word with him this morning about that. I told him that this is all very well, but if he lets his parents sleep they aren't going to call me and beg for a couple of hours on their own to sleep now are they?

I am finding this transition into Nanahood somewhat strange. When I saw him born I was struck by the fact that I am now a new mother by memory only. I am a grandmother, my years of being the mummy and all the joys of pregnancy are over. Completely.
They have been over for 4 years of course, after the vasectomy and decision that we are done reproducing, we made that choice and it was the right choice, such old bods that we are.
Seeing Joshua born and remembering that inexplicable joy of meeting your baby for the first time, the incredible importance and high status of being an expectant and then a new mother is addictive, I never believed that I would ever be done. When I had Elijah and saw him, I knew I was finished, he was my last baby, it felt pretty good.
The sadness of knowing that I would never feel that again was fleeting, this new experience of being a Nana is something so new and overwhelming that I am taking a while to get used to it.
We all think we do the best job, that we know what to do, how to do it, what works and I DID know that I would know how to help Mel give birth, I am good at that, I know how to deal with the pain, know what tricks to use to get through it and to deliver a baby well. I was right and I did help her, she has told me and several other people that I really helped and that she doesn't think she could have done it without me. Of course she would have done it without me, we just like to think that it was as good as it was because we worked together and experience worked well with enthusiasm. For us it worked very well.
What happens now is a different kettle of fish.
I don't know what is best for Joshua because I am not his mother, no matter that I have had 6 children, I haven't had him, he is not my baby, I can continue to be Jordan's mum, I can tell him and Mel because I am a mum to her too, that they know what is right for their baby, when they call (and they do!) and ask advice I can ask them what they think, I can point out that even if he has big veins in one arm, he is relaxed and happy, he is not in pain, he is eating and sleeping and the chances are he just has big veins in one arm, they can ask the midwife to look when she comes next.
I can look and think that maybe I did things differently and then I have to shut my mouth, they are doing such a great job, he appears to be as laid back as his parents and pretty much seems happy wherever he is ( darn it, there goes my theory that I would be summoned to take him so they can sleep!!) Jordan and Mel are relaxed and are soaking up the fact that they have 2 week together to be parents, to get to know their baby and not worry about work and the world outside, they have people visiting and calling, they have already been outside and to the shops, they are enjoying their new world.
The first one came hurrying down to meet his new grandchild and I found myself prickling with indignation, he left when Jordan was 23 months old, has visited when nothing else was happening, taken them for holidays when it was convenient, never paid any child support worth mentioning, has to be reminded when they have birthdays, has never once been to a school or even known anything about schooling for these children and yet HOORAH look! I am a grandad.
He has said " oh we are Nannie and Grandad" well I was amazed at my vehement reaction of "WE " are nothing at all. H and I are Nana and Papa can be whatever you want, all on your own and when the novelty wears off, no-one will care or even notice.
He was there when I popped in for a baby fix this morning and I swear I walked out of there thanking the Lord for H, such a gentleman and so clever. Never have I seen him with his hands down his trousers scratching his bits, certainly not in public.
H would never stare at a young girls belly and make comments about how well it's gone down and how devoid of stretchmarks she inappropriate is that?
Jordan wanted to know when H would be going to meet Joshua and I was able to tell him that he is waiting for the coast to be clear.....when the first one has gone, when the Nana from Turkey has been, Papa H will go and meet his new boy and get to know him. All in good time, all in the right order. He has just been happy to stay here with puking and pooping little boys ( bizarre stomach thing still going on but we are assured by the doctors that their irritating to the degree of fury level of energy and ability to still jump, yell, shout, play all day long is evidence that he night time shouting, whining and puking/pooping is not too worrying.) Eli is recovered and will most certainly be going to school tomorrow, thank heavens for that! Lovely H who just stays in the background letting me grab all the limelight and soak up all the good stuff , happily keeping the home fires burning and sheets changed, clean shorts outside the bathroom and white rice on the boil. Glorious H.
What a joy life can be, how much we can grow when we face up to life's new challenges and make the very best of it all.
It has been so hot and sunny, beautiful weather and time is flying towards my trip to Boston. I am beginning to get nervous and think of all those things that I could worry about and then I just think of who else will be there, the fun we will have and 7 hours on a plane will be more than worth it!
17 days. Bring it on.


Blogger Julie Q said...

Surely teething will come along and keep him up at some point. :) Hopefully you will get him all to yourself at some point.

He is so precious!

I hope, if I am ever a Nana (I might steal that one some day!) that I can be as good to my grandchild's parents.

11:11 pm  
Blogger MamaTink said...

What a wonderful blog Helen. I am truly uplifted. Thank you.

12:25 am  
Blogger TN said...

I have been looking everyday at that precious little bundle. I sent one comment the day he was born, but it didn't go through. Helen, what a joy he will be in your life. Stand back and enjoy the ride. Your life will never be the same.

12:39 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If I can be half the Nana and mom to Jordan and Mel you are then I will be so pleased with myself!

I love you!

2:46 am  

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