And now, for something completely different!

Things are not going well. Elijah has had some kind of weird stomach thing for a full week, perfectly well and cheerful he has had diarrhea the likes of which has had me heaving and gagging, he is completely cheerful, wants to eat and yet...over and over again, farty bum " Eli! Did you poop again? " he does this little jump / surprised look and then says " Hmmm I fink yes I did!" and off we go again. We have bleached, disinfected, anti-bac'd, starved , hydrated and he has skipped and sung and pooped his way through the week.
Last night, Isaac woke up and was all unnecessary, upstairs downstairs, all over the place, H came down here Isaac came in with me and he whined and fidgeted all night until this morning when he let us know what the whining was about....yes more poppy boxers and surprised looks ( well how on earth did THAT happen? Heh heh!) They really think it is hysterical, none of them ( and yes Seth joined in!) are at all miserable, they have been playing, running, jumping and all the while ( pardon my language) shitting through the eye of a needle.
We have had little piles of clean boxer shorts outside the lavatory and they have been running downstairs yelling "Ha! I did it again, the dirty ones are in the basket!" This has to be the most revolting game I have ever witnessed, I am thrilled that they aren't ill as such but good heavens!
Toast and Coca Cola, all day that's it. ( Coke is magical for the runs, and it did work, by lunch time, not that anyone actually ate lunch) the stream ( eww) had run dry and they were safe to stay downstairs. Seth has been up and down those stairs all day long, keeping a tally of how many false alarms he has had. I am so grateful that they are old enough ( apart from Elijah) to just do what needs doing, we have followed behind saying " WASH...use this gel....." and then running to spray and wipe.
We have a strict no farting rule which Eli cannot keep too and so he has been the winner of the clean boxers part of the game. If you get gas, do it on the toilet because this is not fun you guys!
I had to escape just for some fresh air, this house has a cloud of green toxic fumes hovering over it, thank goodness for good weather and open windows.
They were all pretty much exhausted by 8pm, they watched the Lakers /Celtics game and were asleep in minutes.
8.30 there was a loud and piercing scream and then as I reached the bedroom, more puke than I have ever seen, especially from someone so small who has hardly eaten a thing all week. Poor Eli, poor bed and poor my iPod, yes, hoorah for ugly plastic iPod skins with High school musical pictures, that thing saved my iPod from certain puke death.
We stripped the bed and threw the whole lot in a black sack and in the dustbin, life is to short for sorting all that kind of stuff out....ack I shall buy new duvet and sheets tomorrow, that one was in its last legs anyway, luckily the beloved animal blanket had fallen on the floor and escaped the horror.
I put Eli under the shower which always makes him cry, he hates that, wrapped him in a towel while we remade the bed daddy had scrubbed and cleaned and he jumped right in, snuggled down and said " Ahhh, I don't fink I will puke again, night night"
H has gone to bed and said he will be shoving his ear plugs in as far as they will go because he can't bear to hear anymore noises tonight!
I am so glad they are happy but it s the weirdest thing ever!
I have banned Mel and Jordan from the house and I met them outside today in town, I cannot bear the thought that I might miss the baby's birth and even worse have to stay way from him when he IS here.
I can't tell if I feel ill or not, queasy but honestly the day I have had who wouldn't feel ill? So much stink in one day! SO much laundry and cleaning, smells of all kinds and then the disinfectant smell on top....ewwwww and ack.
If I do get sick ( although I have to say I absolutely don't believe in being sick, it is against my core beliefs, so I think I will be fine) I will stay away from Mel and Jordan completely and I think my heart will break a big bit. I have so enjoyed this time getting to know Mel, I love the fact that I love her so and that she rather likes me. Mel's mum is flying in on monday, if that little stinker hasn't been born before then, Mel is being induced on monday. I have a terrible feeling that I am going to miss him being born, between this bug and Mel's mum being here....Mel says it won't matter that the more the merrier but it will matter.
I want them to enjoy the birth of their baby, I won't turn it into a 3 ring circus and I don't know Mel's mum well enough to be able to relax when she is around, she is entitled to be right by her daughters side if that is what Mel wants and so if she is here before the baby is born I will step back and wait until she has flown back to Turkey before I muscle in and love on that baby.
If this bug keeps wreaking havoc it won't be a choice anyway. It's all a bit cruel isn't it? Right now, this whole puke thing?
Mel and Jordan have completely accepted that this baby doesn't seem to know how to get out on his own, she says she is only uncomfortable when she has contractions and that she has accepted that he will be here on monday, with help. It is a relief to see her happy again, she will have her mum close by for a week and any girl wants that at a time like this, just 2 days to wait and then he will be here, or on his way for sure! Please let that stomach flu be a 24 hour one, I have no idea why Eli has had this for so long, he has been a stinker for sneaking food whenever we aren't looking so hopefully the other boys will be better by the morning, I am afraid to go to bed for fear of being woken up by nightmarish scenes of mass pukedom. I might have me an all night vigil, at least until H wakes up which is usually around 3am.
I am more than a little fed up by the timing of all this and just hope that the morning brings miraculous healing of all things stomach related.
This has been an incredibly emotional week, all without even seeing that little person arrive, who knows what it will feel like when he is here. I have been a weepy old thing all week.
I am weepy with relief about Sophie and her job, scared that having money will take her back down the scary road, excited about the baby, disappointed that he isn't here, excited, disappointed, excited about Boston, scared about Boston, thrilled that even in my wildest dreams I wouldn't have imagined things falling together in such a way for this trip, I think that I am really meant to go and have the time of my life, I am so thankful to all the people that have made it happen for me ( oooh is this a speech?? Where's the podium?)
I feel something so huge is happening and of course it is, so much going on all at once. Almost too much to take in at one time. Lucky me. I just can't wait for this baby.