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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Love thy neighbour ( but you can hate mine...I do!)

Big Tvs and Big brother.....am finding 10 minutes to blog about um..what to blog about?
Oh how about neighbours. I know Heavenly Father says Love thy neighbour as thyself but I don't think he met my neighbours, I am pretty sure He understands why I loathe my neighbours. They bring out the superior in me. They highlight the snob that I try to keep hidden. They make me stick my nose in the air and adopt my most affected Hyacinth Bucket voice and say things like " for heavens sake, where ARE the parents?"
None of us have the slightest idea how many people live in that house ( and actually I suspect no-one has a clue how many people live in ours either)
There are many children, the youngest is about 10 and is called MathYOU!
I think the older one is called little Fucker, as he is only ever called that "Hey! Come back here you little fucker!"
There is a teenage girl that is sometimes there and sometimes outside our front room window on her cell phone not saying anything very loudly, she goes away for weeks on end and just as we think she may have been a nightmarish figment of our weary imagination, there she is again with her phone and her voice.
Every friday night / saturday morning, the father and a woman who we can't decide lives there or not, come home from their night out and then she leaves, very loudly saying she is never coming back and he says that she can make that choice but he loves her and she says no he doesn't and then he says.....do you really care what he says because she doesn't. I don't either, I just wish he would say it INSIDE, not on the doorstep ay 1am.
Sometimes, they either get so drunk ( or stoned) that they go into a coma or they stay out all night and leave the kids. Those kids turn into hellions from Hell. They stay awake all night and they run in and out, in and out they slam their front door, the scream up and down the road.
4 nights ago, one of them locked them out. Then we were treated to many a chorus of " you stupid BUGGER!" and laughing and then banging on the door and more swearing and a few squeals.
The night before last, they were doing it again....4am, running in and out, slamming the door and then, a new game, the 'lets see who can scream the loudest' game. The winner was the one who got the most curtain twitches. This went on until 6.30am. I had gone to bed at 2am. woken at 4am...by 6.30 I could see my heart thumping through my PJs. my ears were pounding along with the high blood pressured beating of my furious heart.
Then I heard one of my other neighbours say " are your parents in?" and I knew that I wasn't alone, it wasn't just me and the people in the house next door to these hideous ne'er do wells, have just moved in, they have a baby and a toddlery person, they pay a lot of rent for that house because it is newly renovated, has 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 kitchens and I wanted to live there...the rent was too high and I knew who lived next door so I talked myself out of it very quickly, if I am paying that much rent I want a garden and no neighbours with common habits thankyouverymuch.
So when I heard another neighbour ask if the parents were in and then heard those little gobshites laughing and slamming their door again, I lost all restraint.
I have oft thought that should my house be on fire, I may die because I would probably insist on getting dressed before escaping, I half want to be able to go out in my slobby clothes, would love to feel comfy having people other than H see me in my Jama's but it just isn't going to happen. It's not me, I must be clothed and bra'd and modest at all times.
Not this time. I stormed out of my house, across the road and I hammered on that door, without stopping until they opened the door. Bangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbangbang.
"Hello"
"Are your parents here?"
"no, it's not my house, I am looking after them" ( he was 14 if a day)
"Oh, no parents then?"
"No.Sorry"
" Right, then I shall have to call the police "
"No, please don't I am looking after them"
"Then SHUT THEM THE HELL UP!"
"OK"
"No, it is not OK, this is ridiculous, you are like the blood clampetts night after bloody night, it is NOT OK!"
"Are you calling the police?"
"Yes I am"
( to the other kids!) " did you hear that? She is calling the police! Well done, what will your dad say when I have to tell him?"
"And you can be sure I will be telling him as well"
All those little kids came out to the door step as I walked away
"Oh PLEASE don't call the police...we're sorry, we're SORRY...don't call the police!"
"TOO LATE!" I replied as I walked back into my house where I sniggered like a 9 year old. I could feel the fear, could taste the trepidation coming from that house and also, I am pretty sure that I could hear cheering and air punching from several of the other houses in the street.
I have discovered that it was kids attached to this house that smashed my car window in April.
Sophie was talking to the father who said that he knew who did it and was sorry, he had spoken to the person responsible and it wouldn't happen again.
Didn't pay the £160 it cost to get it fixed of course but there we go.
Not a sound came from the direction of that house last night and even today I don't think they came out to play. I'm sure it won't last, it's friday tomorrow so at 1am we will hear the latest leaving of the girlfriend....you can set your clock to them.
Do you think it's OK if I love all my other neighbours, or at least don't hate them, perfection is so hard to achieve isn't it?

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5 Comments:

Blogger MamaTink said...

Good for you!! I'll be sure to use you as inspiration the next time my neighbours lock their yappy little dog outside all night!!

12:17 am  
Blogger Mac and Cheese's Mommy, ok, Mac and Chase's Mommy said...

YOU GO GIRL!!!!! I am proud of you! I think it is hilarous that you scared them into thinking the police were coming. Good enough for them!!!!

12:40 am  
Blogger Jenn said...

so did you call the police on them? Did you follow through? Well DID YOU? Thanks for making me see that my 6 yr old doorbell ringing hellion of a neighbour is not so terrible since he does sleep all night. Perhaps you should stand out there at 1am in your jammies and stare at the dad - maybe he'll learn to take his private affairs - oh to a place more private than the space outside your window!!
You are the neighbourhood Hero to everyone else though!! I'm sure they are all thinking the same thing "Thank goodness somebody finally told them to shut up!"

5:09 am  
Blogger justLacey said...

So funny you caled them the Clampetts, we refer to our neighbors across the way as "The Beverly Hillbillies". They have been quiet for quite a while now, but are still up to no good all the time. Good for you!

10:11 am  
Blogger Stetch said...

OMG you are SUCH a nicer person than I. I wouldn't have just threatened to call the police. I would have DONE it!! What jerks they are...the parents should never just abandon such crazy kids at home like that. If it happens again, I hope you do call the police. :(

11:03 am  

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