My Photo
Location: United Kingdom

Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Love it, hate it.

Julie Bo got me thinking after her post about things she's a list of things I love and things I hate.

I love being a grandma. Nothing beats its, glorious baby without any of the sleepless nights. Perfect.

Look at that little face, he was telling me something so important while I took his picture.


I hate being ignored. If I speak to you, answer me, be rude if you like, tell me to bugger off, say whatever you like but DO NOT look right through me and pretend I didn't speak, this will absolutely get you a smack in the head if you try it too often and maybe, just maybe, one day I will do it right back, you will make me ignore you and stop giving a toss whether I hurt your feelings or not. It is beyond ignorant and also, abusive, to treat someone that cares about you this way.

I love gut aching laughter, the kind that makes your head ache, your eyes stream and takes your breath away. I had one of those laughs this evening with Seth, he then laughed at me laughing which made me laugh even more.....perfect. It was over something so lavatorial, such a typical thing to make a little boy laugh. I was lying on the sofa and Seth always sits behind my legs while we watch TV...I may have passed wind,( in the most feminine of ways, naturally)...which he found hysterical, which made me laugh and to my horror, every time I laughed, I farted and it was like a machine gun...right at Seth who was in the line of fire.....oh my goodness, it was a vicious circle that left us both near collapse. Good times ( those soya beans are a killer!)

I hate that the exchange rate has gone so crappy, when I went to Boston in June it was almost $2 to the pound, this time it is about $1.60 and falling, that makes a huge difference when it comes to spending money while we are there. Ptttttthhhhhhhhh! The prices are so good when we are there though that it will still be a pleasure to shop. Whether Sophie has any spending money is another matter, she is just about as terrible with money as it is possible to be. It drives me insane that she will not listen and if our trip is spoiled by her whining that she can't buy the things she sees, she will be more sorry than I am!

I love the feeling I got when I threw some clothes away today, they are too big, literally falling off, I don't want to keep them 'just in case' this time, they went in the bin and good riddance. I like being comfortable in the clothes that fit me now.

I hate that it will be a while before the weight loss shows. I can feel it, I know I am losing but because I have so much to lose, it won't be obvious for a long while yet. I think when I have lost another 3 stone it will really make a difference, every stone I lose is a size down in clothes. That is so something to work towards in easy to think about chunks. If I think of how much I have to lose to even get down into the healthy range I become overwhelmed and wonder if I can do it. If I just aim at a stone, one at a time, just 14lbs.....I can do it. I am on my way to my 2nd stone.....and so far it has been perfectly do-able. I can keep doing it. I have to think long term, its no good trying anything crashing and fast, it won't work, I can't do deprivation. I can do sensible. If I just do what I have been doing and it keeps working the way it is working, I will be where I want to be in a year. A year that's all! How exciting is that.

I love that the hate above turned very quickly into a love!

I hate that I still worry so badly about Sophie. I know that she is not perfect, she is young and behaves very immaturely. She does what young people do and she does it so well ( gah!) but for me, when she does what most teenagers do...I feel sick, I still don't know if she will go that step further, will she slip right backwards? I can't just tut and say 'oh well, kids will be kids' and fall asleep, I can't yet accept that she is just out and having fun. She is so lacking in restraint....but she isn't doing what she used to do, I have to give her that trust and respect or she may well just give up and say to hell with it all and wonder why she bothers. finding the right way to approach things is a tough call sometimes.

I love that I give H chances, when he really REALLY bugs me, I always give him the benefit of the doubt, keep my mouth shut while I stew and really get to hate him....and then, like for instance, when I am seething because dammit, he looks right through me when I talk to him, ignores me completely and makes me feel like the lowest of low, I get all teary because I am so KIND to him and I spend most all of my day thinking about things that will make him happy and here he is, hating me so much he can't even speak to me or answer a simple question, like any polite and loving husband would do. What have I done that is so WRONG? Right, I'll show him....I'll make HIM feel like crap, then he'll be sorry.
Right that's it, he can't even make himself care that I am sniffing and so sad....heartless pig....anyone would think he is bloody deaf or something......H! H! See? Ignoring me again.
Oh how I miss the days of those HUGE big old headphones, with padded old wads of leathery looking material that sat at the side of your head with a big headband thing so that you looked like a complete plonker and everyone KNEW that you couldn't hear them.
The thing is, these days, when a husband is minding his own business and has his teeny weeny earplugs in, listening to some deathly dull podcast because if he has to endure another week of hearing wannabes warbling to Whitney Houston songs, in the hope that they will be a huge star courtesy of the X Factor, his head might explode causing his wife unnecessary heartache, his wife can't and doesn't see the headphones and spends the best part of 90 minutes plotting revenge for such ill mannered treatment.
So I love that I bide my time, therefore giving myself the opportunity to see the error of my ways. Phew.

I love hot water bottles, fluffy socks, sarcasm, yellow gold and white gold mixed in a piece of jewellery, bangles, russian wedding bands, long gold chains, crumpets with butter, crocs, eating out, diet coke, beautiful white laundry hanging on a line. Listing what I loved hate, somehow refreshing to get it out in the open.

I really dislike, sport, ear piercings with those horrible earrings that stretch your holes bigger and bigger WHY??? Tattoos, long fingernails on men, long facial hair, grey socks, unironed clothes, baggy sheets on my bed, sideways rain, snow unless it is on a Christmas card, seeing lttle babies in strollers that don't lie back- poor little floppy heads, dingy white clothes.

Labels: ,


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I do a bit of ignoring when I'm trying not to argue back. Especially if I'm angry and don't want to have to go back an apologize later for saying things I didn't mean.

Plus, it's the best way to get to Mike. Ok, I said it. I should be smacked.

I hate the gages in the ears, too. Blade is wanting to do that and I'm so hoping he comes to his senses on that one. Blech.

Baby pictures are just too cute!! Especially the top one.

6:52 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh we are way too much alike on ore likes and dislikes. That baby Joshua is just so precious. It makes me sad that I don't have one and won't again.

11:20 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this blog. I love those types of laughing jags too. They are too awesome for words and little is better than that.

I love fluffy socks too!!

I love you too :)

2:50 pm  
Blogger Erin~Leigh said...

ya on the weight loss!
My boys love gas sounds's a thing!

1:08 pm  

Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]

<< Home