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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Sunday, April 05, 2009

Money talks ( as does chocolate)

So, I should probably tell you one small point about the whole Isaac singing and dancing thing. You can see how close I was to him, I had a lump in my throat as he sang and I whispered to him "Can you wave your arms?!
"No, I can't"
"Are you sure, because I bet you could if you really tried!"
"No, I can't move them!"
"I'll give you a pound!"
"I can't!"
"£2!"
And then he danced.

Bribery is a great thing, sometimes it works really well.
We bribe them every sunday actually. The whole sunday morning routine was getting to me to the point I was dreading sundays round about friday lunch time, I knew we had to do something about it and so we came up with the idea of reading about Sundays in the scriptures, making a big deal of the whole " with cheerful heart and countenance" I so wanted to put a stop to Seth's saturday night fever, his regular as clockwork self diagnosing of near terminal disease every single saturday night and his set your clock by him dragging out of bed at 8.30 with the worst case of sundayitis you ever are likely to see.
I understand why he finds sundays difficult, he is smart, he loves scripture, he discusses it with Howard, he really knows his stuff, then he trots into Primary every week and is taught regular lessons for 8 year olds and I suspect he feels his brain atrophy as he sits there feeling he is surrounded by total dimwits.
I explained that this is a fabulous opportunity for him to contribute, to use his knowledge and intelligence to share with his friends and to try and bring alive for them the stories he knows so well. That has helped and his teacher seems to love having him in her class.
Sunday mornings were still very tough for us and add to that the general insanity of getting little boys dressed and fed and in the right frame of mind to sit still for 3 hours ( heh! Any ideas? ) So, we worked out a system that works so well and I am pretty sure I have explained how it works before....in a nutshell they get money every saturday to spend on whatever treat they choose, each week the amount raises by 5p ( in order to keep the dream alive and fresh!!) when they come home, they put the treats on the mantle and they can look at them and dream of that moment when they come home and can eat it ALL.
They have to get up and get ready for church WITHOUT complaint, they have to be reverent and cheerful in primary ( where the kids go for 2 hours to sing and learn) and then they have to be quiet and reverent during the main meeting, they can take quite books, writing pads and pens, no toys and they cannot disrupt the meeting for other people.
I think we have been doing this for 6-8 weeks or more and it still WORKS, I can't tell you how great it is to get ready with co-operative children, there have been 2 occasions where we have had to take away treats, oh how that hurt, how they cried and apologised and promised and cried some more on those days where they did not get to eat all the treats.
Seth has never lost any treats, Isaac came very close and Eli, twice, blew it!
Today was different, today we didn't go to church, we stayed at home to watch general conference...I so wanted to hear what the prophet had to say, I wanted to hear the music and the speakers who always have such gentle and wise things to say.
We set the front room up with the boys' recliners, they had paper and pens and there was a snack waiting.
I explained that during the conference I Was going to make some comments, ask some questions and I wanted them to listen, I told them that tomorrow I am going to hide some plastic eggs in the house , inside the eggs would be questions relating to the things I was going to comment on, they were going to find the eggs and every time they get a question right, they would get a reward. That worked so well, Isaac lost the plot at one stage ( right after the snack when he ate a fruit roll up...seems they have the same effect as chocolate on him, devil on crack in a nutshell) I sent him out to sit on the stairs ( "YEAY! GOOD! I hate this anyway I am so BORED!!" to which I replied, "very good, go and sit on the stairs then, what a shame though that while you are out there will be some points you will miss and dear me, you won't get those prizes will you?")
Oh my goodness, how quickly he was sorry and sure to be a good boy and I WANT TO LISTEN because I want to find the eggs and answer and you CAN'T MAKE ME MISS IT!
Bribery is great. I highly recommend it.
We have noticed how as Isaac makes strides outside the home he is finding life at home more challenging ( or should I say WE are finding life at home more challenging?) He has tantrums and outbursts, so much crying and slamming of doors, so many screaming fits and throwing of things. We have also noticed that he is very clingy lately, he wants to be held and hugged and is clinging to one of us most of the time. I started to hug him really tightly and he would say " Oh I love that feeling" if I put both hands on his head and actually apply pressure he almost groans! I swear I can feel the tension drain out of him as I squeeze his head ( come here little boy and let me SQUEEZE YOUR HEAD!)
Today he had a spate of really pushing the limits, he was just revolting and disobedient, teasing Eli to the point of screaming and when I would try and get him to stop he laugh in my face...the third time he did it, something in me snapped and I was right in his face and so angry, I told him that I was so close to smacking him he had better get upstairs in his room and stay there until he could behave and I was calm again. Getting that irate with him is a terrible thing, I hate feeling so close to the edge of losing all control until I remember that I DIDN'T lose it, I felt furious, I didn't act on it, which is the difference between good and very very bad. I don't think it hurts a child to know that they have pushed the limits a step too far, as long as it's not a regular occurrence. I'm not sure there are any parents out there that never feel close to losing control, I'd like to meet them if there are and see what kind of unnatural children they have too!
Shame there isn't a mantle full of treats waiting for me if I get through each day without losing my cool!
Talking of treats...I am so excited about this week, we are going to be having a week of treats and sharing. A happy time for all I hope. I wish I would stop eating the treats though, for heaven's sake I am useless at the whole dieting things lately and if I don't stop RIGHT NOW, I am going to find myself right back where I started and we all know how well that will sit..... pppttthhhhhhhhh, why doesn't healthy food taste like crusty bread or chips smothered in vinegar? Why isn't fat considered beautiful and flab a thing to be sought after?
Seems control is something I am very short of lately...can you buy it on Ebay?

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1 Comments:

Blogger sarah said...

sound like my blake. Do you think he is craving sensory imput?if that is the case i have a really easy fix...when blake gets to the point of those out burst we put on under amour (like what bikers wear lance armstrong stuff) then we put on the fishing vest and it has to have pockets. You take sandwich bags and fill them with sand. keep adding to the vest pockets until he says the pressure is good.it helps calm. Also a something worth trying sit on the floor with him and have him with his back to his chest cross your legs over his and his arms so they are giving himself a hug but also you engulf him with a hug over him. Seems to give blake his sensory that he needs.

Im Sorry he is being so trying. I know how difficult it can be. If I could find control on ebay i would send it to you.. Have some dark chocolate on hand.. It cant hurt you it has antioxidents in it that are healthy for you ;) Hugs

4:51 pm  

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