I suppose I'm just not that dedicated.

I learned something else about myself today, good heavens, what a week for growth and learning it has been for me.
I absolutely intended to buy my mum a lovely present, for mother's day on Sunday, while we were at the Temple on saturday, either there in the little shop or at the LDS bookstore, afterwards, when we drove ourselves there while everyone else was sitting in the coach, you know, without us.
I had 40 minutes to grab what I needed, pee and find the bus, no chance to buy anything, so that idea was out.
So, I decided that I would take mum out for a lovely lunch. The idea went down well and today was the day. I picked mum and Leah up at 11am and off we went, to Exeter for a lunch on my favourite restaurant.
As usual the food was glorious, we had a lovely time, we looked out at the beautiful sunshine, the river and the spring flowers. Replete and happy we made up our minds that we would drive over to a lovely shop to browse before we came back home, ready to collect the boys from school.
Mum and Leah always walk arm in arm, best of friends and both in need of a little support they wander along at their own speed, taking in the view as they go.
I, however am living in a world of school timetables. Everything seems to be done around when the boys go to school and come home. An hour to do this, 2 hours to get there and back, you know how it is. Rush rush, grab and run.
I rarely stroll anywhere, I drive, I get out, I charge around, I drive back and I charge around some more.
When I am going out with mum and Leah, I make sure I don't have to fit anything else in and I enjoy the non rushing, however, I do find it impossible to walk at the same pace, wherever we go I am ahead, turning 'round, waiting a bit, ahead again, looking back, waiting a bit. Forward, back, forward back.
Today was no different. We left the restaurant and headed to the car, down many wooden stairs and the car was parked mercifully close to the steps. I was a few steps ahead, keys in hand ready to open the doors for mum and Leah.
Leah gets wobbly sometimes and mum has such painful legs that holding onto each other is ideal. It works for them as a rule.
As I went to open the car doors, I heard, in that heart stopping way, a sickening thud behind me. I heard that and experienced that awful feeling of slow motion, that dread of turning around and seeing what I thought I was about to see, when I forced myself to look, there they were.....mum and Leah, still arm in arm, face down on the concrete.
Gah!! I hate that feeling where you are running and getting nowhere, my mouth, as usual worked fine and forced out a few 'Shits!!!' I got over to them, the full 4 steps away, in about 3 hours or so, ( that's how long it felt!) Mum was saying " Oh, check Leah, she's bleeding" and I told her to shut up ( I am so sympathetic) that Leah was fine but what about her....her knee hurt so much and Leah's hand had all the skin scraped off right across the knuckles.
Mum's knee was black already so I can't bear to think what it will look like tomorrow.
She had to scoot to the steps on her bum, hoist herself up from there and I ran and moved the car as close as I could get to them so they could limp into it's safety.
When we got into the car, I handed out special wipes, antiseptic wipes that soothe Isaac's every graze and owie, he says they don't sting and they take the hurt away...seems he is right. Phew that felt great to actually DO something.
Once I had stopped shaking, or at least stopped shaking enough to drive away, I realised that I had failed miserably as a blogger because when I thought about how long all that falling over had taken, how mum and Leah had stayed face down on the concrete for at least half the day, when I took myself back and reran the whole scenario over and over I remembered that the whole time I had my camera in my bag .
I let you down, dear blog readers, I didn't give you a second thought, camera right there and yet not a single picture of my nearly 71 year old mother and wobbly sister prostrate on the cement floor noses to the tarmac.
Can you ever forgive me? I'm not sure I forgive myself, I could even have made money if I had flicked to video mode and sent the clip to 'You've been framed'
When push comes to shove, I suppose I am just not dedicated enough. Darn it.