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Ooooooh it'll cost ya missus.
What is it about mechanics that make them assume that having bosoms renders you an idiot unable to see just how slimey and insulting they are?
I have been mistress of my own vehicle for 13 years, capable of many things but car repairs cannot be included among my talents. As a single mother for 10 years I swore that if I ever married again it would be to a man with money and vast knowlegde of all things vehicular...oh how we laugh about that now!
In writing this blog I have discovered the hitherto hidden violent streak in me and find myself far too often proclaiming the desire to physically beat the beejeebers out of various people. Mechanics have to be almost at the top of my list. I stubbornly refuse to have my husband accompany me to the garage when needing repairs or a service ( I mean my car of course, although the hoists and pit might be handy when the need for examining my undercarriage is necessary, I have to draw the line at the grimy fingernails and lack of genteel conversation found in the garages around here, not to mention the almost obligatory biting wind that howls through the workshop)
I am aware that every mechanic known to woman is convinced they are onto a good and profitable thing when a mere female wanders into their territory whittering on about stange whistles and clanking noises and asking how much something might cost, but it just grates too much for me to give into it and ask H to help out. My car is MY car, I am very fond of it, in an embarrassed kind of way, and it would feel far too disloyal to pretend it's not mine when it needs some tender care and convincing that another few years would be appreciated.
So I gather up my best 'don't mess me with me' face and drive with purpose to enquire about the needed repairs.
My dear car has been poorly lately, still getting me from a-b but with petrol at 94p a LITRE and every drop counting, getting 26 miles for every £10 I put in is just not good enough is it? Add to that the fact that if I slow down ( which much as I hate it, is necessary at roundabouts and traffic lights) it coughs and dies .....no ignoring it anymore. So, although I do actually have a garage that is very nice to me, it is a few miles away and every now and then I tell myself that surely every other garage in the world can't be run by money grabbing woman hating ( or at very least, woman sneering), get your tits out mentality morons, can they? Apparantly they can.
Is there a college that these men have to attend in order to be so universally oily? I don't mean oily, I mean oily, they even seem to look the same, except for my garage, which is run by a lovely old chap who was wearing shorts today....
Inground grime and oil, dark dirty hair ( honestly, I don't think blond men can fix cars in this country) and a very unsatisfactory mustach. Shave it off, it's ugly and at the same time, cut those finger nails, for heaven's sake we understand the oily nails but NOT long oily nails, the topless calendars hanging in the office are an unneccessary clues to the fact that you have no women in your life, long oily fingernails are the biggest turn off, get a clue and get some clippers, blech!
Here is a picture that I found when typing into google "mechanic" For the love of realsim...who are they trying to kid?!?
Oh, if only it it were true!!
Anyway, no matter what I say when faced with said oil monkey, I am greeted with a sucking in of air between the teeth and the phrase " ooh it'll cost ya" or " oh, can't give you a price luv, never know what we'll find" they take one look at my imported old jallopy and positively shine with the thoughts of how if they tell me " parts for those don't come cheap" I'll believe them and hand over every spare penny I haven't got.
So I laughed and told them that I might be cabbage looking but I'm certainly not green and I'll be going back to the nice little garage in the village who for some glorious and heaven sent reason, have never, ever, ripped me off, they only ever do what is needed, even say on the odd occassion " oh your brakes will need doing before too long but for now they're fine" they have even given my car the yearly MOT and called to say it has passed with flying colours and doesn't need a thing doing! Can you imagine it!? Today they serviced my old darlin' and put some new brake pads on the front, new spark plugs ( "ooh those buggers were a bit pricey my love but you'll get a good couple of years out of 'em, two of they old ones was burned right out, I mean burned RIGHT out") and I am almost excited to see how long my tenner of unleaded lasts, please let it be further than 16 miles. I think I might even ask H to clean the car tomorrow, I'm not too proud to hand that chore over, not for a second.
I have been mistress of my own vehicle for 13 years, capable of many things but car repairs cannot be included among my talents. As a single mother for 10 years I swore that if I ever married again it would be to a man with money and vast knowlegde of all things vehicular...oh how we laugh about that now!
In writing this blog I have discovered the hitherto hidden violent streak in me and find myself far too often proclaiming the desire to physically beat the beejeebers out of various people. Mechanics have to be almost at the top of my list. I stubbornly refuse to have my husband accompany me to the garage when needing repairs or a service ( I mean my car of course, although the hoists and pit might be handy when the need for examining my undercarriage is necessary, I have to draw the line at the grimy fingernails and lack of genteel conversation found in the garages around here, not to mention the almost obligatory biting wind that howls through the workshop)
I am aware that every mechanic known to woman is convinced they are onto a good and profitable thing when a mere female wanders into their territory whittering on about stange whistles and clanking noises and asking how much something might cost, but it just grates too much for me to give into it and ask H to help out. My car is MY car, I am very fond of it, in an embarrassed kind of way, and it would feel far too disloyal to pretend it's not mine when it needs some tender care and convincing that another few years would be appreciated.
So I gather up my best 'don't mess me with me' face and drive with purpose to enquire about the needed repairs.
My dear car has been poorly lately, still getting me from a-b but with petrol at 94p a LITRE and every drop counting, getting 26 miles for every £10 I put in is just not good enough is it? Add to that the fact that if I slow down ( which much as I hate it, is necessary at roundabouts and traffic lights) it coughs and dies .....no ignoring it anymore. So, although I do actually have a garage that is very nice to me, it is a few miles away and every now and then I tell myself that surely every other garage in the world can't be run by money grabbing woman hating ( or at very least, woman sneering), get your tits out mentality morons, can they? Apparantly they can.
Is there a college that these men have to attend in order to be so universally oily? I don't mean oily, I mean oily, they even seem to look the same, except for my garage, which is run by a lovely old chap who was wearing shorts today....
Inground grime and oil, dark dirty hair ( honestly, I don't think blond men can fix cars in this country) and a very unsatisfactory mustach. Shave it off, it's ugly and at the same time, cut those finger nails, for heaven's sake we understand the oily nails but NOT long oily nails, the topless calendars hanging in the office are an unneccessary clues to the fact that you have no women in your life, long oily fingernails are the biggest turn off, get a clue and get some clippers, blech!
Here is a picture that I found when typing into google "mechanic" For the love of realsim...who are they trying to kid?!?
Oh, if only it it were true!!
Anyway, no matter what I say when faced with said oil monkey, I am greeted with a sucking in of air between the teeth and the phrase " ooh it'll cost ya" or " oh, can't give you a price luv, never know what we'll find" they take one look at my imported old jallopy and positively shine with the thoughts of how if they tell me " parts for those don't come cheap" I'll believe them and hand over every spare penny I haven't got.
So I laughed and told them that I might be cabbage looking but I'm certainly not green and I'll be going back to the nice little garage in the village who for some glorious and heaven sent reason, have never, ever, ripped me off, they only ever do what is needed, even say on the odd occassion " oh your brakes will need doing before too long but for now they're fine" they have even given my car the yearly MOT and called to say it has passed with flying colours and doesn't need a thing doing! Can you imagine it!? Today they serviced my old darlin' and put some new brake pads on the front, new spark plugs ( "ooh those buggers were a bit pricey my love but you'll get a good couple of years out of 'em, two of they old ones was burned right out, I mean burned RIGHT out") and I am almost excited to see how long my tenner of unleaded lasts, please let it be further than 16 miles. I think I might even ask H to clean the car tomorrow, I'm not too proud to hand that chore over, not for a second.
posted by The other me | 11:47 pm
3 Comments:
I suspect if my mechanic looked like that one I'd be over there all the time complaining of some non-existant bang or squeal, just so I could watch him check my oil. Have I mentioned my cute mechanic fantasy..... oh sorry TMI.
My uncle is a mechanic. My Grandfather was a mechanic. My dad on the other hand, hates getting his nails dirty. A trusted mechanic is worth their weight in gold. I was pleased when we took our van in to find that there was actually nothing wrong with the CD Player - despite Matthew shoving pennies into it. They didn't charge for looking at it either.
I wonder in what universe it is that mechanics are such eye candy??? Havent seem any of his kind in my neck of the woods...lol. But, i have found the very kind you speak of...oh she is a female, we can rip her off. I just dont understand why they have to be that way. But i have found that its not just women they take advantage of, but also, young, unknowing kids. My brother in law just turned 20 and a few months back took his car in and they said something was wrong...cant remember what, and wanted to charge him several hundreds of dollars. Needless to say, my hubby was able to fix the problem for under 100.00 How amazing...lol.
Well, don't let on but I was so excited about how it ran on our trip this morning I came home and CLEANED IT MYSELF! probably not a good move as now they know I can do it!
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