All change.

So, yesterday we went to the hospital and nothing much had changed, after a near blowout with one of the nurses ( where Leah was impressed with how 'controlled' I was but mum was holding her breath for fear that the control was about to be abandoned), I handed the nurse a printout of my blog and left...yikes!! I was immediately horrified that I had done it ( but not horrified enough to stop me eating a huge lunch in the cafe of course) my life has been full of impulsive actions..you think I would have learned something by now, in fact, mum had printed the blog and said to put it in my bag in case anything happened to make me feel desperate again, and it did.....anyway the upshot was that when mum went back to get some news on dad's scan she was told that every nurse had read it, they all felt that they had learned something and perhaps I should write a column for a paper or something!
Dad had his CT scan which really only showed that the whole of his liver is affected, it is very swollen, very inflammed and he is very poorly. Today he has had a biopsy and the results of that will take until tuesday to return, the immediate news is that it could be hepatitis, another infection or cancer......now we wait and see, although no tumours were found, maybe there is a different kind of cancer that causes this kind of damage.
The great news is that visiting is allowed again and wouldn't you know it? The one day I WOULD be allowed in , I didn't go...... I hit rock bottom yesterday, a reaction to the whole deal I think and so today mum went with Julie and Leah, he had just had his biopsy and was in pain and tired so I'm sure he didn't miss me, typically, in his one lucid moment of the day he managed to gather himself together in order to call me and give me a bollocking, even though he hasn't read the blog he heard that I had caused a stir and was very cross indeed. Pttttttthhhhh.
I drove to a delightful village about 30 miles away to collect a very tasteful e.bay bargain in the form of a pine hall table.

I so love these excursions made so thrilling by the bloody useless mapquest directions that never fail to take me miles and miles out of my way. Why do I keep thinking that THIS time it will actually direct me to the place I need to go? Today, I sailed past a turning that my heart told me was the right one but mapquest told me was 7 miles too soon, I carried on for the seven miles and ended up , well 7 miles too far down the bloody road, now, I have the most none existant sense of direction, so when I turned around and went back it was hopeless because now I was going backwards ( if you know what I mean) and Seth and I had quite the scenic route . I am still sort of buzzing from the fact that we actually FOUND the place and got home again, miraculous! It did take us 3 hours however......not so clever after all. I took Seth because I knew I would get lost, I ALWAYS get lost and somehow if you're not alone getting lost is funny, on your own it is anything but. I did ask Sophie and Jordan if they wanted to come but they've been with me before and knew that although it was only 30 miles away the whole of their friday night would be swallowed up and so very politely they declined, Seth is still young and innocent, I am enjoying his company before he gets wise.
I got very lost once, in L.A. on my own, 12 weeks pregnant with Seth and I found myself downtown somewhere , stray dogs on the streets running around old men in broken armchairs smoking ( the old men not the dogs) and staring at the stupid lost looking woman in that shiny minivan.....I couldn't stop and ask for directions because I knew in my soul that as soon as anyone heard my English accent I would be shot for my travellers checks and seeing as I didn't have any it seemed sort of silly to risk my life so needlessly.
Todays journey got me a great table though and a veritable steal, so worth the time and trek through the countryside. I love e.bay, it is my place of escape and when I feel a lull in my self esteem I read my feedback and see what a jolly good person I am and lift myself up to A+++ status, where I am recommended and have good comms. Hoorah e.bay. I wonder if you can get livers in good working order, you should be able to, if you can get toast with Jesus on it, a gently used liver ought to be a sinch.
Or maybe a T-shirt........
can you believe it, you really CAN get the most bizarre things on e.bay.....i wonder if he'd get the joke!!