A short one, perhaps.

Wow, I am so tired tonight, the last few days I have been hard pushed to stay awake and when I am awake I can do very little without getting so weary I couldn't out run a slug.
I want to tell you all about my doctors appointment with Sophie, but am soooo tiiiiiiiiirrrrreeeeeeed, so it was great in that she really showed her bi polar self, bless her heart, I sort of loved her a lot today, she is just such a nut job it was impossible not to feel enormous affection for her. The result is that she is being referred to the mental health team to evaluated and get a proper diagnosis and medication, we have no idea how long that will take but if I were the doctor she saw today and had any kind of swing, she'd be seen pretty darn quickly.
The other great thing is that I took her to see MY doctor, who now has the clearest picture she can ever hope to have on what I mean whenever I just say " Sophie, yes, hmmmmmm" there were many meaningful glances and raised eyebrows throughout our time with her today.
I am so happy to have these feelings towards Sophie, after so many years of just gritting my teeth and trying not to lose the very last shred of my sanity, it is a glorious feeling to enjoy her, she still makes me cry most days , with worry and frustration but it's so good not to be consumed with rage, this is only possible because she doesn't live here.
It's her 19th birthday on the 11th march, 19, unbelievable.

I am frustrated with the fact that with this auto immune problem, my immune system is so busy fighting itself it doesn't fight bugs, I have another throat virus thing, sore and weary, aching and sick, lumpy neck and stiff joints, pppppttttttttthhhhhhhhhh. I have been so grateful for the bottle of throat spray I bought in Walmart, that stuff is amazing and when it looks like it is getting low I shall be offering up smarties and curly wurlies for a trade, numbing throat spray for chocolate, does it get better than that?
I am doing lunch for some friends tomorrow, I love that but it does mean I have to do something with the dining room , I keep starting things and then get tired and walk away.....the dining room has a half filled bookcase with a few piles of stuff, just stuff that for some reason we felt we couldn't live without, now it is here I don't care enough for it to put it anywhere so, dining room floor it is.
I will say that I am pretty sure it was H that felt we couldn't live without it, the stuff on the dining room floor, I was ruthless ( actually up until I saw the huge loft we have here then I had a party and said way too loudly that we need not throw anything away, lets take it, we may need it one day. Music to my horading husbands ears, so there it all is, with both of us walking past it and shutting the door on it and waiting for the other one to lay claim to it.)
Perhaps we'll eat lunch in the front room, except I want to make leek and potato soup and crusty bread rolls, that's a bit messy for a lap lunch, darn it.
The boys have had fun finding all the books that we didn't unpack in the last 2 houses, Seth and Isaac have pulled out pretty much every encyclopedia and jumped with joy, I even think they put some of them back too, good gracious.
Right, midnight, time to go to sleep or do some laundry.