We are just so upmarket.

Remember when I wrote this?

"For some reason known only to H, a swiss horn thing arrived in our bathroom, it is hung on a hook next to the toilet. ( and if I wasn't all together too idle I would take a picture) When Isaac, who is a bit worried that he will never wipe his own bottom well enough, has finished his business, we hear 3 long blasts on the horn and H goes running to do the honours. It is absolutely this type of thing that makes this house a great one to live in. Happy day indeed when we heard the horn when Isaac was at school..WHAT? Elijah, on the throne, waiting for a wipe. Hoorah."

We have come up in the world. Isaac still insists on being checked, he is always clean but the very idea that he might not be, is just more than he can tolerate.
I probably should warn you before I go any further, there is a chance that you might be overwhelmed by feelings of envy. I can't help that, some of us have, some of us can only wish to have.
When we left the old house ( that is officially nothing to do with us, keys have been mailed and landlady informed) we took with us everything that was unscrewable, that we had paid for, I might be striving to be a better person but pettiness overtakes me at times and this was one of those times ( also, thrifty, look after the pennies, the pounds will take care of themselves etc. etc.) We might actually need that rather top of the range padlock thing we put on the flat door, we never know when that doorbell might come in handy. We may not need it right now but one day, maybe even one day soon, we might rue having left such treasures behind.

I was upstairs emptying box number 353 into the airing cupboard, when I heard the doorbell, hmmmmm, who could it be? 'Tis late, sort of. Funny thing, that doesn't sound like our new doorbell, but it is definitely ringing, quite persistantly and urgently.

Yes, H and his glorious eccentricities strike again, with the unexplained loss of the swiss horn, we have been in a quandry reference the summoning of bottom wiper/ checker. There have been a few occassions when Isaac has been disgruntled that no-one checked his arse for him, bad times I tell you.
Yelling doesn't work, we are fabulously good at ignoring yelling, unless it turns into the almost a pain filled scream yell, which will have us responding with compassion and speed "WHAT? What NOW? Who did it? Stop right now!" something like that.
Imagine my husband's delight to find himself with the answer to our dilemma.
He has set up our rather natty wireless doorbell, IN THE TOILET!
When Isaac needs assistance, he merely has to ring the doorbell, the ringer part is plugged in downstairs, in the front room ..DING DONG! Marvellous.

You might well be able to keep up with the Joneses but let's face it....... we're just that bit further out of reach.