What not to do .

Do not call your mother at midnight, just for a chat, when your girlfriend is 38 weeks pregnant. Expectant grandmothers who may or may not be napping on the sofa, could easily jump up, feel giddy, look for new cell phone that has a really irritating ring tone, trip over shoes discarded by 4 year old boy who could not decide between stylish black pumps or gold flip flops, fall onto a piece of Lego ( damnation that hurts as much now as it did 17 years ago, does NOTHING get easier with age?)
Nanas in waiting try very hard to appear in control and unflappable, answering the phone that has the stupid ring tone ( must get Isaac to show me how to change that tomorrow) with the name "JORDS" flashing in an urgent and important way does not help in that endeavor.
Definitely, when your mother answers "What? Yes? Wassamatter?" Do not laugh and say " Ha! Were you asleep then? Were you? Ha ha Sorry, was going to just yell 'HE'S COMING!' but changed my mind....now what was I going to say?"
Have something to say that makes your mother's heart slow down a bit OR have something to say that means she gets to leave the house and drive you and your heavily pregnant loved one to the hospital where she will then pretend to leave you to await the birth of your baby boy and support the mother of your child while she gives birth but really she will loiter and pace floors, pretend to read a magazine and pray very hard that the experience if magical and safe, that both mother and child are safely delivered and then willing to allow Nanas in to weep and study, adore and photograph.
I love to hear from you my boy and I know that the whole world thinks I never sleep but sometimes, more lately than ever before, I do. Being roused from such splendid slumber has aged your mother several months, years even. Please limit after dark calls to the ones that mean that baby is on his way, because although I am trying with such enormous effort to pretend that I am taking all this in my stride, I am so piggin' excited and eager to see that little boy that the slightest excitement will quite likely tip me over the edge.
I thought this pregnancy would take forever, all those weeks ago when you called me with such trepidation in your voice and told me that Mel was pregnant, even then the joy I felt was immeasurable, I wondered how I would stay patient for all this time. Now here we are, with the time measured in mere days until he will be here. I am so proud of you and Mel and how you have prepared for your son. I can stand back and watch and feel sure that this little boy will be so loved and so well taken care of, I can shut my mouth and allow you to grow and learn, it is easy to take a back seat and not feel the need to tell you how it will be, or what to expect because in truth? I don't know.
Both you and Mel are so laid back, so gentle and patient, so placid and easy going, chances are your baby will be the same. I don't know what you will feel, have no idea what your baby will bring apart from more joy than you can ever begin to imagine. More heartache and worry than you can comprehend. More of everything under the sun and who knows how any of it will make you feel. I do know that when he is here your world will change, nothing that seems important now will matter anymore, new things will take precedence and that tiny being will dominate your every thought.
I love it when people say how a baby won't change anything, how 'it' will have to fit in with life as it is.....those famous last words. Everything changes, even the way you look at the world.
There is nothing like becoming a parent, you are so young to be taking that step but I am so sure of you that I know you will do a great job, be a great father.
I can't wait to get that phone call to tell me the time has come, that he is on his way.
Just keep those other calls to daylight hours, if you please, I would like to be fit and well enough to drive you to the hospital, many more phone calls like the one just now....I can't promise that will be the case!
I love you Jordan.