Enough of that then.

That other post has been burning holes in my conscience. Also we may have a solution that half of me suspects will come back and bite me, I shall save that post until decisions have been made, so far just a discussion, an idea and a headache that is of the kind that makes one pace the floor moaning, laying down makes it worse, speaking....ouch and that desk top fan I can hear? That bugger is liquidising the inside of my skull, any minute I am going to opt for sweating quiet, any minute but not yet.
I had Joshua last night, all night...and I can put my hand on my heart and say that I adore that baby, however I understand that the Lord has reasons for making the wombs of most 46 year old women unable to expel newborn babies. It is a mere 5 years since I had Elijah, but oh my, the nights of being able to spring up and feed a baby and whisper and kiss and marvel...gone. Long gone.
I forgot how much noise little babies make and I think my grandson is the gruntiest and wriggliest scrunchpot ever. We were doing really well, I fed him at 8 and he crashed, all snuggly and comfy in his moses basket on the sofa, right by me where I could look over and adore him, where I could poke occasionally and then start to wonder if sleeping like this, at 8, 9, 10, 11....is this good? Do they do that little 7 week old babies and then sleep in the night? I forget.
I fed him just after midnight and he still slept, giving me several heart glowing grins in his sleep, as I changed his nappy and crooned to him
"Joshua, Joshua, sweeter than lemon squash you are. Oh. My. Gosh! you are, Josh-u Osh -u a"
great big smiles, even though he just couldn't open his eyes. I loved him even more.
I went to bed then, just after his midnight feed because I didn't know what his plans were and ...well I had no idea how I was going to do the sunday morning stuff with this little person around as well as all the regular madness ( and hoorah! Sophie....just took him in to her and said AUNTIE SOPHIE...its ME.....here I am!" and she was happy, perfect, I even managed a shower)
SO I lay and listened to the grunting and the shuffling and the little 'eh eh' noises that had me holding my breath waiting for him to wake up. 2am..he woke up....fed him again, settled him down....4am.....uh oh, H is actually sleeping and that is unheard of at 4am so I grabbed the moses basket and told the occupant that I adored him but maybe we could fall out, so he smiled and then I knew we no more likely to stop being friends......he was SO AWAKE, all smiley and happy to be with grandma in this unexpected way, how marvellous...... and we lay on the sofa the boy baby and me and we snoozed and soaked it all in, knowing that this was a one off, that after church I could ( and did) have a glorious nap while Joshua did whatever Joshua does on a sunday afternoon.
Mel was so happy to see him when I took him home and she called last night because she missed him, they both got back much earlier than they planned and I so hope that the night life is less appealing than it was, now they have this little man pulling their heart strings back home.

I wish my head didn't hurt so I could explain that bizarre rant about fat / thin in the last post. Basically I seemed to keep reading blogs that were either about Blogher ( which sounds like my idea of sheer hell, who in their right minds would think that thousands of women who all write blogs and want to be the funniest, best, most important, in one place vying for top spot and having to listen to speeches about how to be best, funniest, most successful and then feeling like a piece of crap when you don't get invited to 'the' party and no-one knows ( or cares) who you are unless you are in the top group of bloggers, well does that sound like fun to anyone? No thankyou. Boston for me, hands down.) Blogher or people talking about going to the gym and how fat they are and how so and so is so much thinner and then so and so leaving comments to say that she saw writer and OMG how THIN is she and then commenter felt like a cow and OMG so FAT....urgh.
Oh look, even with headache I whittered on...which reminds me does anyone get that twitter thing? IS it Twitter? Head hurts, can't remember but I did try to get it and ....I don't. Am going, head hurts. Am not so angry anymore, H helped, I am so glad I have him, unless he is getting on my nerves and then, well he makes me angry and off we go again!