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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Saturday, July 19, 2008


Do people read blogs on saturday? I don't think so, people ( other than me, for me saturday is like every other day but a bit longer and louder) don't seem to write blogs on saturday because I suspect they are out having fun and living it up. Me, I manage to do all that by 10am and the rest of the day is mine to whine about. So much for that song " Saturday is a special day" It is my arse.
So, if people don't read blogs on saturday I should be safe having a good old moan, vent, swear ( should the fancy so take me)
It's sunny..which is a great thing, we love that, sunshine and all. we had plans for today, Dan is here, well I say here, at Jordan's house which is understandably more exciting than mine, he has a shiny new BIG TV which as well know is one of my mortal and material desires, a great big TV, side by side fridge freezer ( check!) and a car that is new enough that it doesn't smell of wet dogs. I have extended the list of requirements for the car, because if you are going to dream you should do it big, so, no wet dog smell, doors that lock, full seat belts in the back and good on petrol. Leather seats would be great too, not essential but oh how wonderful that would be.
So, Dan is down the road, Jordan's house is very very close to ours, which is a great and beautiful thing. Usually. I am humbled and touched that my grown children love me so much. I am. Yep.
Sophie loves me so much lately that she is nearby very often, talking at me, about money usually. I might have been forced to wave 2 unopened utility bills in her face just now and told her that if I don't have the money to pay THEM why would she continue to think I have money to give her to go out? She still kept asking, as if, rather like I used to think when I was SEVEN, if she keeps asking, then surely answer will change. She even woke me from a nap this afternoon ( And truly, does this girl not know me AT ALL? Even when I told her through gritted teeth in a hissing voice that this had better be important, on a level with ' the house is on fire and I have rescued your young and dependant children, called the fire brigade and am now here to make sure you leap to safety' she STILL said 'oh, no but can you lend me £10 seeing as you have told everyone else NOT to?' Wouldn't any rationally thinking person think..hmmmmm she has told everyone not to lend me money and then just be annoyed and give up?...why does HER mind tell her hmmmmm she has told everyone not to lend me money, that means I should wake her up and ask HER for some.)
I think my kids have my blog address, they keep saying things that are on here. If you do, oh fruit of my womb....and you read it, don't whine. I don't want to hear about it, if you read it, it's true. If you don't like it..stop reading.This is where I come to unload my head and stop myself saying it to your faces or smacking you in the head, or losing mine. This blog is your salvation as well as mine.....I wish you wouldn't read it but if you do, don't mention it to me. I don't want to know and I certainly don't want your opinions. I love you though.

Also, if I am asleep, leave me that way. Unless the house is on fire or you win the lottery.

Isaac had a party invite today to a great and fun place, with his best friends and we were excited about it, we being H and I. Isaac?
"I don't want to go. Shall I not go, I think I hate that place"
So we did all the talking and the what funs, all the well just see how it is and then we can talk about what you want to do's.
We went and he said that he would stay if I sat at a table, with the shoes under the chair and promised not to move at all.
3 hours or was it 2, who knows it felt like 5. HE had such fun though that he was pouring sweat and OH JOY if they didn't give out free packs of CRAZY BONES, which made it all perfect.
I find that the older he gets the harder I find his inability to speak to people like his friends mums, when he was tiny it could be passed off as shyness but now he is nearly 7 and when asked a question as simple as 'what would you like to eat' by someone he has seen and known for several years, when he turns his back and stares at me in panic, well it feel sso much worse than when he was 4 or 5. Having to gently explain why this big boy can't stay at a party without his mum or dad right there is getting tougher, I have no idea why it's hard for me because everyone is the epitome of kindness and understanding, when I mention why he does these things, it is almost always the case that I can see a light go off in their heads and they will then say "Oh..I SEE! " and then I can see that they are putting it all together and 'getting it'
When he is asked a question and with his back to them he will give me the answer, I feel myself sighing a bit. When we leave and I ask him if he wants to say thankyou and he looks at me and mouths "you say it" I feel awkward, for him as well as me because I actually think he wants to say it himself.
But when I look at him and look past all that and see who he really is, well none of it matters, not even a bit. He is breaking boundaries his aspergers set and taking such huge stride. He is so beautiful and such a kind and gentle soul. He is quite perfect.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes he is quite perfect and I know other people are not as shocked as you fear. A boy of maybe 10 or so came in with his mom to day camp yesterday. My guess is he has some kind of autism as he looked perfect but something was off in the communicating even though he spoke. I think he was so much more precious because he was like that, and everyone made a big fuss and spoke to him and not in that way that people do when someone is different usually. I just thought he was so perfect.

7:39 pm  
Blogger noname said...

Blade was like that when he was a kid and still is to a large extent. He would go without food, using the bathroom, ..... to keep from having to speak to people. At least, that's what we thought. If they're right and he really has aspergers, well, I can't tell you how horrible I feel. Course, we'll never know because he won't go back to a doctor. Or therapist. Or anyone who could help.

But I'll tell you what, he chats a mile when he's on the computer and can type it out. When he speaks in person he talks so fast you can't understand him most of the time. I've actually had people tell me that they'd only invite him to this or that if I could come and interpret for him, because I'm the only one who can usually understand when he talks that fast. (and even I have to have him stop and slow down a lot). Anyway, sounds like he had a great time and YAY on more crazy bones for him, lol.

7:46 pm  
Blogger sarah said...

I hope your day gets better. Issac sounds like my blake. Unfortantly not everyone here gets it. I at times want to smack the parents. I am glad he is sourrounded by caring people. Sophie sounds like my sister who calls at 3am to get her and give her money. that she just hasnt learned at 23 how to stand on her own two feet. I hope they both get it someday. Has sophie found a new job yet? Hang in there Helen...I will keep you guys in my thoughts...

8:00 pm  
Blogger Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

I applaud him for going and you for making it possible for him to stay. Well done both of you!

8:58 pm  
Blogger Julie Q said...

I read on Saturdays, if I get a turn on here! :)

You are a great Mom staying with him. :) I think sometimes they just need to know we are nearby. And hopefully one day, he won't need you so close.

I'm guessing that is about the same time you miss these days.

12:59 am  
Blogger Cathy said...

Yes, yes...I read on Saturdays when I my internet is up and not on strike!

It's now Sunday and I'm wondering if you have $15 I can borrow? Do you? Can I borrow it? Can I?

12:18 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

Isaac IS perfect. Truly splendid, too.

And I read on Saturdays. Some Saturdays I even blog myself!

8:38 pm  

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