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Location: United Kingdom

Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Fur Elise.

So, in the comments, Elise asked to hear more about Sophie, Jordan and Mel.
Elise...were you kidding? Was there a smidgen of sarcasm in that request because, really...I feel as though I have exhausted every single chance to even mention Sophie's name before people click away in terror/ boredom. Although, boring and Soph? Not usually used in the same sentence. Also, just as I begin to think that probably we have run out of Sophie stories....yeay! She gives me more! We will never run out, ever.
I am going to take this opportunity ( because obviously I didn't learn ANYTHING yesterday) to rave positively about the girl. I squeezed the breath out of her earlier in the kitchen ( don't you love my attention to detail? It's important that you know every detail ) because today she was just delicious.
She astounds me almost every day in one way or another, she makes my heart leap into my throat so often it's terrifying.
Like today...
"Mum, just so you know ( uh oh..please don't tell me) When I was out last night, I was talking to my friend and this random bloke walked past and then he came back and bit my boob ( ~YES!!! BIT HER BOOB!) I couldn't believe he did that so I pushed my face into his and said 'what did you just do' and he laughed and so I punched him hard in his face HA!"


Are you still here? Are you up off the floor yet? She said this in exactly the same voice as she would have said " Oh, hey guess what? Tomatoes are on sale this week"
And then she showed me her boob..and it has a black, BLACK bruise on it.
Don't ask me what I said to her in reply because I haven't answered her yet. I just got my breath back. In a normal world wouldn't we be demanding names and places and witnesses and calling police and hit men or something? I think we would. Sophie though....agh.....she does things that are abnormal and accepts things that are way abnormal and she seems so fine with it all. She has been hit, by grown men more times that any other woman I have ever known and she doesn't flinch. I try and try to tell her that this is NOT acceptable, that she must never allow this and I have been witness to her being hit and I stopped it, immediately and made it clear that it is never acceptable, I have also seen and therefore understood why the situation arose. I have yet to meet anyone who can incite violence the way she can and I wish more than anything that I knew how to turn off, in her head, whatever it is that makes her feel that goading to the point of no return and make her see that doing that will always end in her hurting more than the other person.

( ETA....we had a chat when she came home, I asked her who was with her when this man did this and told her that what he did was sexual assault and that she should have screamed her head off ( she was in a nightclub!!) had him arrested and that she should be sure to know that no-one EVER should get away with what he did. She said he was drunk and told her he did it because he thought it would be FUNNY!?!? How old do people get before they think nightclubs are stupid ( again with the voice of my mother telling me inanimate objects are incapable of stupidity but hey ho, old habits die hard)

She is one of the most generous people I know, unable to keep a penny in her pocket, she doesn't care where the money goes and she never ever keeps what she has to herself.
She is able to laugh at herself more than any woman I know too.

She has gained weight since she stopped taking drugs ( YEAY! I never cease to get a huge flip of tummy and heart joy whenever I say that she stopped taking drugs) she is still very beautiful but considerably sturdier than I have ever seen her, when I remember that stick insecty, dirty footed shell that I sent to work with Dan, to see her wobbly bits and love handles fills me with happiness and relief.
Because she is so willing to show and unashamed of her body, more often than not I find myself saying that more is definitely a good idea when it comes to clothes.
This evening she put on some white trousers to go out in and was trying on tops to wear with it. I suggested in my tactful and gently maternal way that a longer shirt would be better.
"why?" she said with a coquettish turn of her head?
"Oh because, well, those trousers are just a tiny bit tight and so a short belly revealing top would perhaps accentuate any parts you may feel less confident about" ( or maybe, "because those pants are tight and if you wear one of those belly flopping numbers that flab is so going to hang out for all to see")
"Oh, Ok then" she said and off she went.
Moments later, as we sat down to eat, she came into the room wearing the whitey tightey pants and a very tight, quite short V necked T-shirt. She stood with her back slumped and her belly flopping, bosoms bursting ( oh dear, that description so just opened me up to pervy googlers) and asked if this was a good top to wear. Then she let me take pictures ( because she really IS a good sport)
She is quite beautiful and NOT fat, no-one is saying she is fat, she is just chunkier than before and will not accept that larger clothes would be fine, still beautiful.

When I stopped laughing, gathered myself together she reappeared and Oh! how I wish I could post the pictures I took then because there she was, in the doorway, wearing ( I say that loosely though what she was wearing was anything but loose.) a sort of G.I. outfit that was certainly 2-3 sizes too small, her bottom was visible, the 2 buttons it had down the front were gaping and her boobs, well for heavens sake, they were making a valiant and almost successful bid for freedom. She stood in the most provocative pose whilst murmuring " How about this?"
And then she let me take more pictures that I am unable to post because she is my daughter and there are such freaks in this world. To me, the pictures are hysterical, to many they would be anything but. Enough said.
In the midst of writing that, I had a 2 hour intermission while I arranged and then had delivery of the poshest , most glorious, shiny new fridge freezer, of the American side bu side kind, courtesy of the restaurant that is no more. Given to Jordan and then given to me because he couldn't fit it in his house or sell it and so yippee, Mother gets the goods and H is cleaning and filling and making strokable the new appliance heretofore only ever dreamed about, it is replacing one that was left festering in the devils own filth pit we used to live in, cleaned and disinfected and prayed over, we made do and were it is banished to the back yard until we can get it dumped. Oh Joy.
I know Elise asked for Jordan and Mel news as well ( some people are so greedy, Sophie is always good for a full post of he own I would say.) But now I must shower or go and shop for fridgy type foods either or or, who knows.
Mayhaps J and M will get tomorrows post or maybe it will just be a post with 37 pictures of my new freezer because it makes me happy. Oh glorious shiny stainless steel appliance of mine.
The suspense will be good for you, meanwhile please feel free to leave more ideas because it is wonderful not to have to think.
This invitation is open to those lurkers that google tells tales on and lets me know are out there reading EVERY day and never leaving a comment.....go on, be daring and show your lovely selves, tell me your inner most desires ( of a blogging nature) Very good.



Blogger Julie Q said...

OMG Helen is right! Too funny about Sophie and the clothes. I do hope she was teasing with the clothes she put on in the pictures you can't post!

I was glad to see the new t shirts Amanda bought were longer this season. Not that she'd wear anything that tight, but why oh why did they ever make shirts so darn short in the first place!?

9:04 pm  
Blogger G said...

I absolutely love your blog have I ever mentioned this? I love being able to be a part of your home. :) Its such a special thing. Sophie's response sounds VERY similar to something my sister would've done.

Congratulations on the new fridge :)

11:36 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oooo...had an idea. Sophie can use the new shiny fridge door as a mirror when she gets dressed. If any bits are hanging out and are visible on the shiny door then off go the clothes.

I don't think you blogged enough about Boston. I think you owe us some pictures of the boys..maybe one of them in a red cowboy hat. You think you can come up with a red cowboy hat?

Love you!

12:30 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Helen!

I am finally de-lurking -- a regular reader from the States; the Mid-Atlantic region. I'm not sure why I've not commented before, I sure have thought of doing so for a long while now -- a bit blog shy I suppose. I don't have a blog of my own, so I guess that's another reason. I've enjoyed reading your blog for some time now.

So glad you enjoyed your time in Boston and so glad that Sophie is doing well --- and everyone else too!

I'm a happily married, middle-aged Christian mom of two. We have a recent high school graduate daughter who starts college next month, and a soon to be in the 8th grade son.

Well, I've gone and done it now! nice to finally say 'hello!'

12:41 am  
Blogger Jenn said...

AHhhhahahah Helen. Sophie is hilarious - and that is so something I would have done at her age - although I didnt have nearly the boobs that she does, or I'm sure I would have been much worse. I turned out ok though (sorta - right? right?)
The new stainless appliance sounds BEAUTIFUL! Take a pic of that. And I agree with Cathy that we need more cowboy pics and I rather enjoy hearing about Seth and his sharp tongue. Oh and maybe some more about Boston and how giddy you got when you saw a Target store come into view.....

12:58 am  
Blogger Elise said...

Oh, I absolutely LOVED that post. And while I can certainly see why you DIDN'T post the rest of the Sophie pictures (and probably a good idea too; too many Internet-y men would find that delish) I feel certain they were hilarious.

I laughed through the post anyway, and many congrats on the new freezer! That's awesome. Thanks for the Sophie update, and for the record NO, I wasn't being even a tiny bit sarcastic - I think I have a soft spot for that girl of yours. She reminds me of myself a bit.

4:53 am  
Blogger justLacey said...

Stainless fridge you say? Better buy some Pledge or you will have fingerprints everywhere.
I can understand why Sophie wouldn't want to buy bigger clothes, I have had trouble with that myself. Had to swallow hard to buy clothes for work and try and look decent.

9:47 am  
Blogger Stetch said...

ooh have fun w/ the fridge! I love new fridges! I'm sure it will be a mess before long though, w/ the kids around lol. Tell them to control themselves or they can clean up everything they do :P

Sophie looks awesome. Just needs to go up a size or so. My niece dresses the same--she's curvy but not fat but wears clothes way too small for herself!

2:41 pm  
Blogger A said...

I love hearing about Sophie. I just know there are big plans for her....she is just taking a little too long to get there. LOL


5:15 am  

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