I am here because I feel I should be, not because I am bursting with interesting things to say, so be warned, could be dull and long or short and dull or anything at all really.
I want to say that I was weighed today, I was very proud of myself while I was away and am so annoyed with myself now I am home, however I now have a batch of veggie soup made and crackers aplenty and am getting back into the swing.
I have lost another 2lbs, don't ask what the total is because I don't know and am not overly worried, I just want to see a -lb every time I get weighed, so far so good ( though today was a surprise, this week has been dire I tell you!)
The very best thing, that made me skippedy hop all the way home ( up that hill even, yes! Really!) was that she took some blood to test kidney function and blood sugar levels ..and also told me that my cholesterol levels are fantastic even for having been so overweight. She then took my BP which, prior to starting this new living, was so high that the Dr was ready to increase the meds, the last reading was 150/98 ...today, after taking blood, weighing and chatting my BP was 110/70, it was so gratifying to see the nurse pump the air and say how totally brilliant that is, completely normal for my age, wonderful and splendid.
I am doing a good thing, I can keep doing it. I will admit that the whole weight loss is painfully slow and annoying but it is going in the right direction, I can deal with that. The fact that the health benefits are so startling is huge to me, I am so excited to see that I am helping myself to live better and longer even. Incredible.
In England Christmas is a big deal, food wise, people shop as if there is a famine about to happen. It is obscene the amount of food we buy for 2 days, starting with Turkey and building up to mince pies, cream with everything, cover it in chocolate, squirt more cream on it and for good measure you should probably deep fry it. Then have dessert and cake and drink plenty of fizzy stuff to wash it down.
It is not considered a good time unless you have stomach cramps, copious gas, are unable to bend in the middle or breathe deeply, eating is IT.
Old habits die hard and I go shopping with my head telling me to BUY THAT! I have not bought it. I have bought a Turkey, pheasant and duck breasts because H has the idea that cooking duck inside pheasant, inside Turkey would be great ( he watched and then had me watch The River Cottage Christmas where Hugh whatever his name is, cooked TEN birds, 9 of them inside a Turkey, I draw the line at 3 birds and am not convinced I will stuff one inside the other at all)
I have bought 2 tins of chocolates, one of Roses and one of Heroes. That is that. No mince pies, no Christmas cakes, no yule logs, no election boxes of chocolate, no Terry's chocolate oranges, not even walnut whips which are my absolute favourites.
I just look at it all and know that if I buy it, I will eat it and then what? I don't need it, the boys don't like any of it ( except chocolate and they shall have some) Mum and Leah have done us a sweet hamper and the boys shall have absolute access to that all day on Christmas day. I honestly do not want to overload on rich and fatty foods at Christmas, only to have to undo it all in January. H doesn't need it either and so I am standing firm and avoiding all the usual stock piling this year....and it feels very strange indeed.
I am not having much fun this week, I am trying to but darned if it's working out that way, I forget what happens when grandpa comes to stay...H becomes Mr Sociable and suddenly we should go OUT and lets DO something, go here, do this , see that. When I go shopping, H and grandpa come too, which means picking up all kinds of things we don't need, H likes to show grandpa how well we eat and so every meal is a miracle of from scratch freshness. All this is normal for grandpa's visit but it all started the day I came home from Boston, I can't catch up on sleep, I am so tired. I get up at 7 after getting to bed at 2 and when I would usually go back to bed, I am driving here and there and being cheerful ( on the outside, on the inside I am muttering ' oh shut up and who cares and NO I DON'T want to go there!') I am shopping and buying things that we so don't need because H doesn't see his dad often and it is fine to pretend this is how we live, for a while!
When I pay, grandpa will give me some money towards the shopping so he covers the extras anyway, the boys are in school for one more day. Tomorrow will be another day of flitting about and shopping ( which is not fun this time of year, with all the must get it NOW trolley bashing maniacs) and I do believe we are going to eat lunch at a carvery ...another H flip flop, H does not like to eat out, if I suggest it, he looks horrified and says how much better the food is right here. When grandpa comes, we eat out, I can cope with that although it is harder to eat my food when faced with roast potatoes and yorkshire puddings with gravy.
The most annoying thing about H when grandpa is here is that he stops doing all the great things he usually does, like the dishes, he always does the dishes and the kitchen floor, he puts the boys to bed and is generally a great person to have around and that stops, almost. I have done way more dishes than is acceptable to me because I cannot stand to see them sitting there waiting for H to come and do them already.
When we get back from shopping, they help me pack the stuff away..what in heavens name is that all about? 3 people all tripping over each other, only one of those people has a clue where things belong ( which would be me!) so rather than a lovely time putting things away and listening to music, I have to trip over people and point saying "that cupboard, over there, bottom drawer, outside freezer, that shelf right there!" I am biting my lip and muttering to myself because patience is in short supply what with the jet-lag and all.
Seth is not getting the spirit of Christmas at all. He is all " why? What for? I don't want to take cupcakes to school! Why are we making sweets? I don't want to give these to anyone, I just want to eat that chocolate before you melt it, why are we doing all this, this isn't fun!"
Isaac, bless his heart is completely thrown out by this whole party time, non uniform days, no work at school but parties, puppet shows, Christmas plays. He is done with it, in fact today he didn't know whether they were supposed to wear uniform or not, we looked up the school website and checked the diary and it wasn't in black and white, Seth had non uniform and Eli had non uniform but if it wasn't in black and white, Isaac wasn't trusting it. He very bravely threw caution to the wind and took of his sweatshirt and put on his beloved new jacket I bought him in Boston. It has guitars on it and is fur lined, he loves it. When we got to school, for reasons I cannot say, Isaac's class were wearing uniform, no-one else was, his class, fully dressed in uniform and the world fell apart. Oh how he cried because NO SWEATSHIRT! I knew it didn't matter and I tried to tell him but he was past hearing and oh what were we going to DO because NO SWEATSHIRT! He clung to me and asked me to tell his teacher that he didn't have his sweatshirt on and he cried some more. I spoke with his teacher who said " Isaac! No worries...LOOK am I bothered? No sweatshirt is fine!" And Isaac smiled . I went home to pick up H and grandpa and we dropped his sweatshirt off at school, all was well.
This evening he did not get changed, he kept his uniform on and at bed time...he kept it on, he says he is sleeping in it and wearing it to school and will take it off when tomorrow is over and he knows there is no school! Some things are not worth fighting over, in the morning I will persuade him to put a clean shirt and underwear on, I talked him into at least removing the sweatshirt....one more day of upside down school for Isaac, I think he can do it!
Eli is just a snotty faced lump of gloriousness. He is divine and I am so excited to watch him through this festive time, I am sure he will be worth looking at, those eyes of his get bigger at the very mention of all the fun of the holidays.
I can't help but think how lucky I am , at 46 to have not only a grand baby but 3 little boys, all still under the spell of the Christmas magic. Can it get better than that? I love this time of year, I love the excitement and the build up, more than the actual day, if truth be told. After Christmas is always so sad, all limp and empty, the house always looks neglected and dull. I soak up the before time, all the smells and lights, the excitement and anticipation.

I usually don't want for anything but this year I would really love some new hair straighteners, I used some fabulous ones in Boston that Cathy lent us, I went out and about and even the wind and damp air didn't frizz my hair, typically the UK don't sell the brand that I used, over here the very best ones are GHD, which is what I have but the ones I have are at least 4 years old, they are worn out and just don't cut it anymore, I would love some new ones so my hair can be shiny and unfrizzy day in and day out. I am sure I won't get them though because I know H doesn't have the money and I because I haven't told him that I would love some, so after Christmas I shall look in the sales and online to see if I can snag a set for my poor over curly frizzy mop!
I am most looking forward to Christmas eve, with little children in the house it is just the most magical, the most splendid time and I am soaking up every minute before I blink and the boys are grown up and boring. Big people are bring at Christmas unless they have little people with them, don't you think?
So...what would you like Santa to bring you? Do you think he will?