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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Friendship, the real kind.

Life is pretty good right now. I am ridiculously tired from jet lag again, who knows why it is so hard to get back in time after a measly 5 hour time difference but goodness me it's like running through treacle.
I have been thinking hard since we got back from Boston and trying to write down what happened this time. Last time we all found ourselves stunned by the emotions of having had such a time together. It was different this time in that there were fewer people there, the whole meet-up began as an idea to reward Sophie for her huge steps taken in getting her life in order. I mentioned the possibility of a meet-up, a quieter one and before we knew it it was all on the go and once again the excitement carried us along.
Whilst there, I took more of a back seat ( which is hard for me as I am a dreadful show off when I feel secure and these women make me feel very secure) It was all about Sophie for 6 days...and she soaked it up. Usually, Sophie avoids affection, she pulls away and puts on a hard faced front, she tries to ensure that if people are going to dislike her, she knows why, she gives them reason to hate her. This time, it was like a breath of fresh air to see her absolutely revel in all the positive attention. She wasn't afraid of hugging or expressing love and happiness, she literally skipped, danced, jumped, clapped her hands, she could scarcely stand still the whole time we were there. I knew that she and Cathy would get on, they are so alike and I think maybe she was meant to be Cathy's but took a wrong turn and came out of my body....the fates have ensure that they get to be friends and I am sure that it will always be the case. We joke that Sophie and George will get married and we will then be related, darn it if we can't get George to obey our commands though!
The older I get the more I understand friendship and how great a blessing it is. I have friends that I have known for so many years I can hardly remember when I met them or how they came into my life. Some I see often, others I can see once every blue moon and it doesn't matter, as soon as I see them it is as if it was yesterday we were last together.
The true friends I have all have one thing in common, they help me be me.
I am a lazy person, I don't like to have to try or work at being anything other than me, I like easy.
I watched Julie and Jenn while we were away and their friendship is exactly how I like it. They are completely sure of each other, they allow each other space, one will leave the other to read, nap, shop, the other will relax knowing that all is well. I love that. They can travel for 10 hours in a car and still be friends at the end of it, they can share a room and relax.
One evening in Boston, Sophie, that young whippersnapper, called around while I had a shower and when I came out all in my jama's having taken my medicine it was to discover that Sophie had set up a movie evening, hooray! Julie, Jenn and Rachel were coming to watch a movie. I can't watch movies, I am renowned for settling down to watch a great film and waking up as the credits roll. Ordinarily, the thought of having to try and stay awake while a movie plays would have been a nightmare for me, not this time though, I was completely able to stay in my PJs, curl up on that big comfy bed, with Jenn next to me and snooze and snore my way through that silly movie. Real friends.
Sophie has changed even more since we came home, she said last night that she thinks she will stop drinking, that would be great if it happens, if she cuts right down it would do for me, the fact that she wants to continue changing is fantastic. She saw what I wanted her to see, she commented on the acceptance and real friendships she saw and how they differ from any she has had in her life. She wants the real ones now. She has spent a lot of time with Mel since she came home, she is excited to go back to Boston ( without ME!) she is going to spend time with her surrogate mother and my friend and I can let her go without a single worry ( apart from one that she might talk the ears off whoever has the luck to sit next to her on the plane!) I know that Cathy will look after her and keep her in check, sort of, I hope!
I am beyond excited that Julie is planning a trip to England, that she is bringing her family and at last I can see my boys together with her girls, that I can be the welcoming party and the finder of great places to go. Also I won't have to FLY ANYWHERE!
I am trying to talk Cathy into coming too, her husband Brian is keen to come here and I know Cathy is too...but she is the same about flying as I am and she has Matthew who is 3 and who doesn't like going in cars that don't belong to Cathy, a plane ride is a huge thing to face with a little person ( but people do it every day Cathy..you can do it ..you really CAN!)
I am sure that the next Boston meet up will go ahead without me, I will be sad not to be there but I know that I will still be a part of it, I love having such confidence in the friendships I have, such different women, we all have different lives, similar in some ways, poles apart in others but we all have the same ideals, the same principles the same respect for each other.
I love that Sophie became a part of that, she knows now how uplifting and strengthening friendships can be, I love that she sees that true friendship is not demanding, does not drain you, does not expect to dominate you but only helps you. It encourages you to be the best you can be and just lets you be.
It is like a huge weight off my shoulders to see her learning that she does not need to be anything bu herself, that who she is is enough, endearing, lovable.
I am so grateful to my friends for making her feel wonderful, for seeing what I have longed for Sophie to show and bringing it out...she is stronger and happier than I have ever seen her and she is learning that she is perfect as she is.
Thankyou.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

I can't wait to see you again and have my girls meet your boys. Seth and Sarah can shoot hoops and Chloe shall boss Isaac and Eli around. It shall be grand indeed :)

4:40 pm  
Blogger sarah said...

sounds like you have some great friends. sounds like sophie is coming into her own very nicely.

12:00 am  
Blogger Tired Mom of Six said...

I love both you and Sophie and miss you both like mad! I am still awed by the fact that I've gotten to see you twice! TWICE in one year...How lucky & wonderful is that?! I wonder what I did to deserve such blessings.

And now I can say that my big girl has met your girl too! She loved every minute of our time with you all and she hasn't stopped talking about Sophie since we got home!

I hope Sophie knows that we think she is splendid for who she is! She brought a new level of fun to our 2nd Boston meet up!

Hope you both have a wonderful holiday - and know that Bec and I will definitely be thinking of both of you. xoxoxo

4:04 pm  
Blogger G said...

We're praying for you all to have a wonderful holiday. I miss you so much.

3:24 pm  

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