I might not look old enough....

Good grief. That's about it, the sum of how looking after a just one baby/toddler makes me feel.
How did I forget how to do it so quickly? No word of a lie, I have that baby on fridays when his mummy goes to work ( with his daddy) and I am in a constant state of either panic of befuddlement.
How on earth I managed to be a single parent to 3 little children with special needs, have 2 babies 11 months apart, live alone with 2 babies, 11 months apart while pregnant with baby number 6 and H was in America for 5 months, is beyond me.
When I have Joshua, I don't shop ( not for groceries, we can wander around looking at things until he throws one of his spectacular tantrums, the likes of which I am positive none of MY babies ever threw.)
I don't bring him here because for the love of plugs, this house is absolutely NOT baby proof, not at all , he is in heaven when he is here because WIRES!!! LAPTOPS!!!!! TEENY TINY TOYS!!!!
So, we stay out and we wander, which used to be sort of lovely and we would chat and look at things, he would love to watch the world pass him by. He USED to.
He's all big and walking now and dammit, he wants to WALK!
Last week, Mel said to me, " Oh he won't go in the pushchair anymore" to which I replied " Ahem....see how he big HE is? See how big I am? Guess who's going to win THAT battle"
He threw such a tantrum today that when it was over ( and he was still in his stroller) he had little blood spots along his forehead, from the pressure of ALL THAT SCREAMING!
We went into one shop to buy ME some new T shirts and when I went to pay I handed him a snack and said " Thankyou Grandma" the lady and I were exchanging pleasantries and then she said " Did you say Grandma?" when I said that I had said that she said " Wow, you don't look anywhere near old enough to be a grandma!"
I loved her.
Mel called, after I had picked the boys up from school and taken them home ( dropping them outside the door to avoid bringing him into the death trap house of wiring) and said that she was finished early ( " Oh, did you? Lovely, shall I come and pick you up so you don't have to wait for the train = OH...THANKYOU!!! STAY THERE! I WILL GET YOU! THE TRAIN TAKES TOO LONG! DON'T MOVE!! I AM ON MY WAY!)
I picked her up and together we went grocery shopping. Sitting in the trolley Joshua seemed to be happy watching the shoppers and looking at the shelves..and in a split second ( thankfully when Mel was standing right in front of him) that little git got his legs out of the trolley, stood up and flung himself commando style out of the seat! Mel caught him and we both stood like total morons staring at each other because WHAT IF?!?!?
When I got home, I felt as though I had run a marathon or been awake for 3 days and nights.
The feeling though, of being the grandma is so wonderful. Oh that handing them over at the end of the day? Priceless.
I might not look old enough to be a grandma but I can assure you I feel plenty old enough.