So. Some more CAPS and YELLING ( but happy yelling)

So, Seth went to camp. I thought I would vomit all sunday evening, awful. AWFUL.

Monday morning wasn't as bad for me because he was so excited, SO excited, couldn't wait excited. Hurry up and get me to school because I am going away excited. It's hard to weep and worry when faced with such glee and anticipation.

He would have liked us to drive up to the school gates and let him out, so great was his fear that someone ( me/ I) would break down and beg him to just "STAY WITH MUMMY! I WILL BUY YOU A NEW LIZARD IF YOU JUST STAY WITH ME!" Which I didn't because give me SOME credit, ( so DID kiss him though and make him hug me in that floppy arms at the side please don't let my friends be anywhere near and see THIS show of complete emotional nonsense way)

Seth has never been his age, sometimes I long to tell him to act his age but I don't think he can.

He doesn't play with toys, he actually doesn't own any toys really, he has 'to scale' replicas of dinosaurs and animals, which have always been loved and looked at and occasionally put into groups such as meat eaters and plant eaters and never the twain shall meet.

He is beginning to interact with boys his age and not seem like the midget adult showing them all how it should be done. Incredible to me that this skinny little twit, half the size of his peers commands such respect, I have yet to see anyone NOT do as he says. It's not that he is bossy as such as he just has this air of knowing his stuff and people believe him. His sense of humour is such that he manages to have people laughing as they do exactly as he says. Even here we notice that he sits while Isaac and Eli run around after him, we don't even know how he does it, we don't seem to hear he telling them to do it all.... this boy will go far in life if he manages to carry on in this fashion!

He is just beginning to talk to his friends in the same way they talk to him and it is fascinating, all that strutting and swaggering, the 'yeah' and "uh?" and that half sneer with a raised eyebrow as if they really don't care. Touching that the mention of ice cream will get me an enthusiastic reply until he remembers that being cool is how it is these days and he'll say " I suppose so" on the end.

He told me he loved me before he left, before he left the house that is, not right before he left, you know, for camp, with people around and all. The glorious thing about Seth is, he says it as it is, he is painfully and brutally honest, he doesn't get at all that people can ever be hurt emotionally from hearing the truth, what's bad about the TRUTH for heavens sake and he has often said to me, quite without guile " why do you ask questions you know you won't like the answers to?" Why indeed.

As he gets older and having had me say over and over again that sometimes, it is just kinder to think before we answer or tell people what we think, he is one step closer to that in that he will tell you what he thinks, honestly and then a day or two later he will amend what he said and walk away before you acknowledge he has done something kind ( because oh my hell don't do that emotional thing near me OK?) So he said " I love you mum, I do, actually I think I even love you THAT much" and he didn't even add " but you're still not getting my spine."

I love my children, all of them, I love them equally but in totally different ways, that is to say, if you put me in a room and told me I could only keep 5 of them, I wouldn't be able to tell you which one you could have ( although on any given day I am pretty sure I would be perfectly able to send at least one with you for a good long holiday, it would just differ every day as to which one that would be) Some of my children are undoubtedly easier to live with than others and Seth would most definitely not fall into that category, he is not easy to live with, at all.

Some of my children are easier to like than others because they are so amenable and easy going. Seth would not fall into THAT category either.

Some of my children are funnier than the others and THIS is Seth's category, Seth and Jordan win this prize and the others aren't too far behind but Seth, I think is top dog.

Daniel and Jordan are hysterical, they are quick and irreverent and funnier than anyone else I have ever met, as adults, I can't remember when they started being so funny, I know that at family gatherings people always want to be where they can see and hear them together and they never disappoint, they are completely unafraid of looking like idiots. Seth absolutely holds his own when he is with them, it's as though all 3 forget he is just 9, a little chap, a squirt. He has the greatest laugh, he sounds like a little old lady, this high pitched chuckling laugh. He adores being around Dan and always has, from being a tiny baby, Dan was his friend and so when they are together and Dan and Jordan are teasing and laughing and forgetting that Seth is 9, you will often hear this delightful squealing laugh as he gets the joke that is more often than not so completely inappropriate for someone who is 42lbs soaking wet and stands just over 4' tall.

I wish I could sell tickets for a day out with my family. I am so excited for next year ( this time next year actually!) when Jenn and Cathy come over because I simply cannot wait to go out with all my children and watch what happens. I love that Mel fits in so completely, she is one of us ( although rather more refined if truth be told, but don't worry, we'll drag her down soon enough)

We are missing Seth because he is such a huge character but I must admit we are also enjoying the simplicity of these few days without his obstreperous ways, he can argue with a breeze block. He thrives on picking a fight and and proving his point. He is quite exhausting in the most delightful way.

2 days down, 3 to go.

I miss you Seth Ammon.