Mind your block!

I am a monster. From out of nowhere, with absolutely NO idea why, I have become a raging monster. I have yelled, LOUDLY, with no control whatsoever at TWO strangers in the street, YES in the STREET, in the past 2 days, I seem to have not a ounce of self control and it is so unexpected and completely mortifying.
Both occasions have been when I have tried to drive somewhere and some eejjit blocks me in. I'm not going to give details of just how much I yelled and behaved like a deranged fishwife but on both occasions I have been mortalaciously embarrassed, only to go and do it again!
What in the name of hormones is wrong with me? I don't think I feel bad tempered as a rule, I go about my business as usual and then, without a second's notice, I EXPLODE! I will admit that my anxieties are through the roof, I am nervous and shaky about everything, sensing terrible dangers around every corner and that certainly puts me on red alert.
I collected the car and was horrified to discover that I hated it, I drove away and wanted to cry because it wasn't my lovely Renault, all clean smelling and handy, I was thrilled to have paid for it and for it to be mine, without worries of monthly payments but I was so sad with it.
I tried not to show it and everyone else seemed thrilled with it. H declared it quite the deluxe model, the boys are beyond thrilled with the space and while waiting outside the local hospital for Sophie for an hour ( bronchitis, she is still smoking, no sympathy) Isaac, he of the obsessions with buttons and opening and closing things, learned what every single seat, window, door, catch, lock, knob and whistle was capable of. That was fun. Not.
I drove it and I sweated buckets when trying to get it into the parking space outside our house, the space that is perhaps 8 inches wider than the car and a mere 6 inches longer. Oh what FUN that is and when some selfish none thinking sod parks across from my house that makes it even MORE fun and yes, that might well have been one time I opened the window and yelled "Can someone watch me reverse and do a 39 point manoeuvre into this tiny parking space? Only some selfish git has parked where they have no place parking and I would HATE TO RAM THIS GREAT BIG CAR RIGHT INTO THAT BLOODY CAR THERE!"
Yep, that was one of the times. The other time was similar.
The one time I didn't yell and in fact I was kindness and patience personified would be when I got into the car, having driven to Plymouth and deciding that actually, this car isn't so bad and it looks so shiny and nice when I walk towards it, it smells of fresh apples now and not old car and I decided that all was well, ahhhhh, what a relief, home we go, CRUNCH.
Oh, OH NO! What did I hit? Did I kill and old lady with her trolley because this car is SO BIG and high and a teeny pensioner wouldn't be visible.....I got out and saw that indeed it WAS a pensioner, an elderly man, although he had been in his little Toyota and had reversed into me as I reversed into him. I asked him if he was OK and he said he was, he was just old, I told him that that was OK because I feel old so we were quits. No damage to either car but my nerves and I suspect the nerves of old Toyota man were jangly for the rest of the day.
I have become more fond of the big old bus as each day passes, I have taken mum and Leah out, the boys and H out, Mel, Jordan and Joshua out, Sophie has been out and I have been out on my own. I have driven 150 miles and used £20 of petrol, with petrol at pretty much £6 a gallon that is really darned good for such a heavy car.
I like it more. I might even really like it when I stop getting in such a state about whether I will be able to get back in to the parking spot when I get home.
I love that it has Air Conditioning, that's a treat and we've even had some warm weather in the last few days.
I'm writing about the weather. Time for a break....
The boys seem to be wild lately, is it spring do you think? Spring madness indeed, it seems not to matter how long we are out, how much they have run and played, shouted and laughed, they are still bouncing off the walls when we get home. I am not enjoying it, I like the fun laughing and the outside playing, the endless shrieking, play fighting, not play fighting, yelling, jumping, all that stuff drives me to distraction and I would say to anyone thinking of having children later in life, it is not the playing or running, the sleepless nights and keeping up that is the tough part it is the total lack of patience for age related stupidity that is hard to live with!
I have been watching re-runs of 'One foot in the grave' and although I laugh at grouchy old Victor Meldrew, I feel a little sad that I know how he feels. I tell people on TV to shut up ( especially Ryan Seacrest, could he be more annoying? And that Kara whatever her name is WHO IS SHE? ) I love Ellen though, she makes me laugh as a judge on American Idol, this year has been so dull but her little quips make it bearable. I am a grumpy old woman who would knock your block off as soon as look at you, so watch out for that block, if you want to hold onto it that is.