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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

so..what works ?

I need, after my outpouring of misery the other day, to make it plain that my whole life is not taken up with sadness. I am, so often able to see immense joy in many things around me and hooray they are the simplest of things that make my spirits soar.
Today I wanted to pick up some plants...lawks a mercy hang on tight.... she might be getting the gardening thing! Mum warned me that sometime around 30 I would begin to see beauty in nature and feel a longing to watch things grow....so I admit it , in this I am retarded but in a very sluggish and almost childlike way the awakening has begun.
H is prone to think of things and be totally gung ho about them and then forget that he was the one to start a trend or fad! He needed, around january, to buy seeds for the purpose of having a marvellous learning experience with the boys..now I am no Percy Thrower but I'm pretty sure that not much is going to sprout in January but never the less, some seeds were bought ( and a veritable nursery supply too I might add, I could almost see a home farm in the distance supplying friends and family with juicy produce fresh from our garden)
Fast track to the end of march when we had a very touching evening with papa and daddy helping 2 little boys plant some seeds. It was, for my mum and I, almost tear jerkingly moving to be bystanders in the experiment, both Dad and H are true aspergers men and Seth and Isaac both have the same tendancies but with the joyful and blissful exuberance of childhood.....just picture 2 very 'rigid' men trying to plant straight rows of seeds with 2 little boys who both have very set ways of thinking how things should be done. If ever there was an example of patience that had to be it!
" oh oh..NO PLEASE put that seed HERE,...it should be in straight lines....Oh but the soil is going all over the ...oh you ARE good boys aren't you doing a beautiful job..." Whilst watching the lip biting and knuckle clenching I had to feel admiration for these 2 men who were determined to have a great time with their sons / grandsons.....common sense told both mum and I to stay as far away as possible though!!
So now we had several trays of seeds and where to put them ? Hmmmm of course no-one had thought THAT far ahead and so they went where everything with no home goes..out in the laundry / toy room. Thankyou gramma for knowing how painful that would be for ME and thankyou gramma for bringing around a mini greenhouse...which H erected outside and put the seeds in..never to go near it again!
Now, I am not a fluffy person, never overtaken with emotion at the sight of a cutsie wutsie puppy, I am perfectly able to look at it and see steaming pooh on my carpet and chewed table legs, Kittens are sweet but I can see flea bites.....babies almost get me but I have had 6 and have learned that they big and answer back much longer than they are wobbly headed little smoochies who smell divine! But I simply cannot see living things neglected...so the seeds became my project, I transplanted them into little pots and watered them well and by golly they GREW and grew and I would mention how they were growing and say how they should probably be planted outside now...oh well, I found some fabulous tomato and runner bean plants for 40p outside the corner shop. ( and they are already planted as I caught H in a digging mood and lo and behold we're in business!
The journey to buy the plants was spectacular, as distracted as I am on many occassions it is impossible for me to drive in this part of the country and not notice just how beautiful it is, as hurried as I may be, I never feel cross stuck behind a herd of cows on the way to milking with udders almost scraping the tarmac ( almost been there before I had my reduction, so much sympathy is given to said cows no matter how long it takes them to swing their way to the milking shed!)
I am forever stunned at the simple beauty by which I am surrounded ......just a glimpse of such treasure on a clear bright day is enough to lift my soul.

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Thankyou for natures own anti depressant!

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