On my headstone....

When I die, on my headstone should be my most said phrase " Ignore him / her they're only doing it to bug you! " I'd forgotten about this phase-- see? I TOLD you God has a sense of humour...the tittle tattling phase is either the longest lasting phase a child goes through or just feels like it but when it starts it will evoke all kinds of memories both from your own childhood ( with long forgotten phrases your own mum was forced to repeat, which you swore you would cut your tongue out before saying, like " If you tell me ONE more tale I will have to smack YOU because you are driving me mad" ) to the ones you thought were original the first time you ( or I, anyway, as a mother of two 'batches' of kids!) were fcaed with tale telling offspring, like " QUICK! Get me a big stick!" " why?" would be the reply, " because I should probably hit ( insert name here) with it, shouldn't I? Is that why you came to tell me what ( name) is doing?" Which was a great one because it stopped them in their tracks for a really long time, had to abandon it when Jordan actually didn't bother with the tale telling he just came to me with a big stick, a huge grin and way too much anticipation and said " quick mum, Dan's being naughty, hit him with this" Damn, not sure I ever came up with a better one than that and had to resort to the threat of hitting the tale bearer....just don't tell my mum because I'm pretty sure I told her she was warped and social services should be informed.
Anyhoo, Seth and Isaac have discovered the joy of tale telling, despite the rhyme which tells them that their tongues will split and the puppy dogs will have a picnic or something..my days are filled with " MUM!!! MUM!!!!" and then I am told that Isaac is looking at Seth ..LOOKING at him! Of course no-one tells me when Eli is unravelling toilet roll number 17 this week. No-one thinks to split on the kid who empties a new bottle of maple syrup, tips peanuts in it and then uses new sandals to grind it in to the carpet...OH NO! That's not how tittle tattling works is it? It's purely for the benefit of making a mother feel her ears are going to bleed, not to actually save someones sanity or prevent disaster.
List of things it is complulsory to tell your mother your sibling is doing.

Looking at you is apparantly # 1.

Thinking of taking a beloved toy, not actually taking it because this sin is met with immediate and deafening siren like screaming from the victim AND the culprit who finds himself almost immediately in severe pain from either hair pulling, arm twist and pinching ( oh reminds me, when Sophie was 5 she told me that she liked everything about black people except their pinches...very clever, my friend immediately told her that she felt the same way about chinese people and their burns)

Having more peas , or more anything because kids can count, they DO count and will need extensive therapy for many years as an adult if their sibling is given 4 chicken nuggets and they only get 3.

Sitting in my seat, I was sure I had been quite brilliant in avoiding the " I'm sitting next to the window whine, as we have a 7 seater and so everyone gets a window seat ( that comes out with us that is, if they all came it would be whole new story) they all also have their own specific booster and car seats but nature wins every time and so we get the whining about who is sitting in which seat. Be warned, this is a long standing one, as the kids get older it changes slightly into the " you were in the front last time wasn't s/he mum?" one, why the ever want to sit in the front is beyond me because it goes without saying that whilst driving, a mother can't be expected to reason with, or be subtle, when involuntarily involved in a tittle tattle battle, the only course of action is to whack the leg of the offender sitting next to her and warn the other one their will be waiting when you get there!
Ahhhhhh, ain't it great being a mother?

Oh as it's saturday, I am down -2lbs total of -9lbs, 75 to go!