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Awards please.....
I am an actress extraordinaire. I fake no humility, I am out to take all recognition for my exceptional ability to appear totally calm to the point of disinterest when faced with heart stopping moments.
Like Sophie telling me she has an appointment with the doctor at 10 am to get a prescription for the pill.
"YEGADS!!!!" My head says "WHOA BABY! " ( this is what comes of saying in a chummy way." Sophie why don't we tackle your room together?" it opens the door for conversations you would pay not to have but feel honoured to be treated to) DON'T BE GROWN UP....SAVE YOURSELF.....New Barbie? Peel off nail polish? Plastic lipstick? Is there anything I can buy you that will turn you into a 5 year old again?
WHERE THE HELL IS JANDY WHEN I NEED HIM? Jandy was one of Sophie's imaginary friends, we liked Jandy, hated Billy...Billy painted the walls with anything he could get his hands on and Jandy would eat the dinner when Sophie was full. Billy was housebound and absolutely forbidden to come on any day trips because he would tell Sophie to run the minute my back was turned, empty bottles of shampoo by the dozen, try to drown the cat, tell Sophie to climb out of bedroom windows ( oh it's not that high!) Jandy would tell Sophie it was bedtime, tell her she would have a daddy one day, try and stop Billy from cutting Sophie's hair ( darn it Billy-- I wish you'd listened that time. I hated that haircut....8 inches off her beautiful long blond hair and the fringe down to the scalp) So Jandy....where are you now I'd like to know, typical male running off when the going gets tough!
For all her mouth and blustering Sophie is deliciously naive, fantasticaly open.I love it that her whole life she has been incapable of NOT telling me everything ( exhausting, but touching and incredibly reassuring) but there are times when it would be quite nice ( or at least easy) to live in blissful ignorance and believe her to be at a friends house painting each others nails and giggling about pop stars ( what happened to just doing that? Kids these days just miss out on SO much!I had a blast at Alison's house listening to Bony M, washing our hair and spending hours trying to make my corkscrew curly stuff straight and her poker straight stuff curly. We laughed about Ivor with the tattoos and imagined what our lives would be like when we were grown up and had everything worked out and we ate madeira cake with clotted cream.)
Why do they have to just skip the good stuff and feel they have to jump right in to the stuff that they are nowhere near capable of dealing with? Sex and tattoos, piercing everything in sight ( and out of sight heaven, help us.) Do you kids have any idea how it feels to have spent nine months making your perfect bodies, endless years filling them with wholesome foods and avoiding as much junk as possible, almost worshipping every dimple and crease only to have to stand back and allow you to deface them, put holes in them? Just wait til you're a mother...then you'll know!
That's the tough bit about being a mother, giving life and accepting that you don't actually have the right to live that life.You may well be right, perhaps we are stupid, we may NOT know everything or remember how it feels but we NEVER forget seeing you for the first time and we ALWAYS know we want the best for you and we will NEVER forget that we love you and and hurt for you when you have to learn the hard way, can't you just sometimes learn by listening and trusting?
It is SO hard not to just leap in and shake her, try and make her see that this is a HUGE step and she will be so sad if she makes a mistake when if she waits and does all the fun stuff first she could be happy. And safe.
I'm glad she tells me and I'm glad I get the time to think and talk to her the right way.
Actually, I thank God. Really, I do. Left to my own devices I would make a hash of it all.......I am convinced that there are moments when my mouth is literally stopped, then I am able to think, pray and somehow do the right thing, say the right thing.....please don't let me down this time God; she's a baby, admittedly in a woman's body butI want her to be happy, I want her experiences to be great ones and not ones she has to learn lifelong, regrettable lessons from. So, PLEASE? Tell me what to say to this child of mine. Thankyou. Amen.
Like Sophie telling me she has an appointment with the doctor at 10 am to get a prescription for the pill.
"YEGADS!!!!" My head says "WHOA BABY! " ( this is what comes of saying in a chummy way." Sophie why don't we tackle your room together?" it opens the door for conversations you would pay not to have but feel honoured to be treated to) DON'T BE GROWN UP....SAVE YOURSELF.....New Barbie? Peel off nail polish? Plastic lipstick? Is there anything I can buy you that will turn you into a 5 year old again?
WHERE THE HELL IS JANDY WHEN I NEED HIM? Jandy was one of Sophie's imaginary friends, we liked Jandy, hated Billy...Billy painted the walls with anything he could get his hands on and Jandy would eat the dinner when Sophie was full. Billy was housebound and absolutely forbidden to come on any day trips because he would tell Sophie to run the minute my back was turned, empty bottles of shampoo by the dozen, try to drown the cat, tell Sophie to climb out of bedroom windows ( oh it's not that high!) Jandy would tell Sophie it was bedtime, tell her she would have a daddy one day, try and stop Billy from cutting Sophie's hair ( darn it Billy-- I wish you'd listened that time. I hated that haircut....8 inches off her beautiful long blond hair and the fringe down to the scalp) So Jandy....where are you now I'd like to know, typical male running off when the going gets tough!
For all her mouth and blustering Sophie is deliciously naive, fantasticaly open.I love it that her whole life she has been incapable of NOT telling me everything ( exhausting, but touching and incredibly reassuring) but there are times when it would be quite nice ( or at least easy) to live in blissful ignorance and believe her to be at a friends house painting each others nails and giggling about pop stars ( what happened to just doing that? Kids these days just miss out on SO much!I had a blast at Alison's house listening to Bony M, washing our hair and spending hours trying to make my corkscrew curly stuff straight and her poker straight stuff curly. We laughed about Ivor with the tattoos and imagined what our lives would be like when we were grown up and had everything worked out and we ate madeira cake with clotted cream.)
Why do they have to just skip the good stuff and feel they have to jump right in to the stuff that they are nowhere near capable of dealing with? Sex and tattoos, piercing everything in sight ( and out of sight heaven, help us.) Do you kids have any idea how it feels to have spent nine months making your perfect bodies, endless years filling them with wholesome foods and avoiding as much junk as possible, almost worshipping every dimple and crease only to have to stand back and allow you to deface them, put holes in them? Just wait til you're a mother...then you'll know!
That's the tough bit about being a mother, giving life and accepting that you don't actually have the right to live that life.You may well be right, perhaps we are stupid, we may NOT know everything or remember how it feels but we NEVER forget seeing you for the first time and we ALWAYS know we want the best for you and we will NEVER forget that we love you and and hurt for you when you have to learn the hard way, can't you just sometimes learn by listening and trusting?
It is SO hard not to just leap in and shake her, try and make her see that this is a HUGE step and she will be so sad if she makes a mistake when if she waits and does all the fun stuff first she could be happy. And safe.
I'm glad she tells me and I'm glad I get the time to think and talk to her the right way.
Actually, I thank God. Really, I do. Left to my own devices I would make a hash of it all.......I am convinced that there are moments when my mouth is literally stopped, then I am able to think, pray and somehow do the right thing, say the right thing.....please don't let me down this time God; she's a baby, admittedly in a woman's body butI want her to be happy, I want her experiences to be great ones and not ones she has to learn lifelong, regrettable lessons from. So, PLEASE? Tell me what to say to this child of mine. Thankyou. Amen.
posted by The other me | 4:20 am
5 Comments:
If you figure it out, could you share with us Helen? My oldest is 18 and she has never even dated yet. I've never held her back, she's just never dated. That day will come and I hope I'm ready. I have a feeling my 15 year old will be more open to dating when the time comes. Again, not holding her back either, just hasn't come up yet. ;)
Julie
That's the thing....Sophie has had ONE date, she said it didn't feel right with him and so didn't go out with him again. If she was dating I would be a bit calmer maybe but she says she wants to be ready when she does meet someone! Does she plan to leap into bed on the 2nd date?! Anyway..here's hoping the answers come soon!
YIKES!!!
The biggest deterrent for me was knowing that you can never go back.. I mean once you have sex with a guy every time you go out he's going to want to do it again.. you're never going to have that fun "let's just go out and cuddle and kiss" kind of date ever again...
Well that and I saw too many of my friends turn into sluts after they'd had sex.. it suddenly became the only way they could relate to boys.. ick :P
GL to you and Sophie...
Julie
Ahhhhhhhh!!!
See, it's posts like this that make me thank the Lord Almighty that I have only boys to worry about - Not that I shouldn't have the same concerns, but they are far likely to be pressured by a girl than a girl is to be pressured by a boy! I just have to teach them to be respectful and not pressure.....Oh I AM glad they are still young, and I don't have to think about that right now. I can handle crayon on the walls (actually yesterday it was lip gloss).....
Mr. Clean doesn't make a 'sex-talk eraser' - pity!
jenn
I think I hold faith in that I was very like Sophie...told my mum everything and she always said the right thing that made me think right at the 'wrong' ( or for her right) moment! I was a 21 year old virgin bride....hope for Sophie yet then!
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