Time.

Never enough of it.
I used to tut and raise my eyes skyward when I was a teen and heard this uttered from every pair of lips over the age of 40. Amazing how a day seemed to be more than long enough then, in fact I can remember too many afternoons in the summer holidays hanging over the arm of the couch bemoaning the nothing to do and boredom of it all.
These days I am in a whole new world and probably resemble an over fed hamster ( is there a 'p' in that?!) on a wheel, scurrying and getting nowhere.
I have a whole new set of priorities and thanks to having had 2 sets of children cleaning in the daytime isn't one of them, when I think back to my days of being so obsessed with sparkling surfaces and everything being just where it should be now that I understand what IMPORTANT things I could have been doing, I am bereft at the opportunities missed to really have lived.
How many people in our lives do we meet that ponder on their childhood and whisper fondly about how clean their bathrooms always were? Have you ever called home just to tell your mum how great it was that your socks were always in pairs and the mugs all matched? I suspect not. My son calls home and remembers the days we went to " wherever we ended up" we would make a picnic ( sometimes just jam sandwiches and some juice) we'd get in the car and go down roads we'd never been down before.

This morning I saw a familiar sight courtsey of Elijah Henry.....yet another unravelled toilet paper roll, rather tastefully unravelled I must say and I actually stood and looked at it for considerably longer that it deserved because when he gets bored of that delicious activity it will never happen for me again.......how sad is that? I wish I could get so whimsical about the pond on the bathroom floor every night at bathtime but I know that particular joy will be here til they all move out in probability, as Jordan is the worst offender.

I just feel that my days are whistling by and I'm not FILLING the time with great things, there is so much to do out there and so many memories to make and by the time I have shopped, picked up, cooked, dropped off, picked up, fed, washed and tidied another day is gone. I think I am a commune hippy at heart and wish I could live planting vegetables and looking at caterpillars.

I had a sudden insight yesterday into my old age and I think I will breed dogs...a bizarre thought because I haven't ever liked dogs, but I shall be a fat old lady in a baggy cardigan calling my dogs my babies and doing them christmas stockings. I will give that saying a helping hand and breed those delightful dogs that have bags of excess skin and flesh and look very crumpled. Then we shall walk, my dogs and I, along country roads and people will pass and proclaim how like me my 'babies' are.