I really don't 'get ' teens.

They are revolting, honestly there is very little redeeming about teenagers even the almost normal ones. They are a whole new species.
It is possible to reason with a 3 year old, even an autistic one in my experience. A toddler is perhaps less reasonable but nothing comes close to the total self centeredness of a teenager.
It would seem that to extract a polite answer from a teenager you must transplant it into the home of a friend and then disappear, at home it is a veritable treat and notabel experience to be treated to a grunt, a grunt with a smile...nope, not going to happen in the home environment ( unless you of course are not present and copious amounts of friends of the opposite sex are present.)

Phone calls are an experience not to missed, or listening into phone calls between teenagers anyway, I am astounded by the fact that teenage boys can talk to each other without actually saying anything and understand each other with perfect ease.
Ring Ring ( yes I know, teenagers phones don't ring they play stupid tunes that eat away at the brain until you find yourself humming them whilst hanging out laundry)
"UH?"
"Oh...uh"
"Nah"
"Huh?"
"right"
"yeah, bye"
Fascinating!

Listening in to girls conversations is less appealing, far too much squealing, yeah righting and cackling for my liking, everyone hates everyone and promises not to talk to anyone until they get off the phone and call everyone to make sure they aren't talking to anyone got it?

Tantrums...now, unlike the toddler variety these are really and truly not funny. They are as unpredictable as a toddler's, infinitely louder than a toddler's and cannot be calmed by the promise of a cheese string and an episode of Dora the Explorer.
Teenage tantrums last for a very long time.They bore me.
I am so unimpressed with them that I could puke, which of course means that they go on for even longer than a toddler's because unlike the cute 2 year old's tantrum they aren't about attention, if you ignore a teenagers tantrum they get louder and longer. The answer, you would think, would be to immediately ask what the problem is...nope, wrong....you're supposed to know what the problem is and immediately understand how important it is and fix it, buy it, say it....DO IT!
When none of these options are possible because as a parent you just can't find it in you to say 'yes' to an all night party, buy a hoochie mama outfit, tell them look adorable in it and then drive them to the party....you of course are the very devil itself, the only parent who is stupid and mean and the worst in the very world...my job is done for another day.
Oh and boy teens just smell, either sweaty or of too much cologne, but they don't do tantrums ( except door slamming), they just sleep and eat a lot and give an almost smile when they find the clean socks.