I am taking that as a compliment.

I was just walking back from taking lunch to Sophie at her work, minding my own business and making a call to Leah on my cell phone. Out of nowhere came a young man who thrust something at me, a card....and invitation.
TO A FOAM PARTY!! Yes, a party whereby young slips of things go, wearing very little at all and while they dance they are sprayed with foam. It is fun, for youngsters who want to show their bosoms through wet t-shirts ( I'm told)
My day is made, my ego is flattered, I am positive they weren't thrusting said invites into the faces of just any old body, only towards people who look like they might like a bit of foam sprayed on them on a saturday night in August.
Maybe he saw my hot pink trendy for young things cell phone as I dialled my sisters number, he thought " look at that young thing there, she would love to be amongst like minded flipperty gibbits gyrating in frothy wet stuff, we MUST invite her.
He didn't know I was in the middle of making a chicken saag for 9, with naan bread, mango chutney and poppadums. He quite obviosuly thought I was merely killing time making calls to my miriad of young friends to see what they would be wearing on our night out on the town.
Actually, I am pretty darn pleased that I am out of all that milarky. I have noticed something quite devastating lately. If this had been the case when I was out on the prowl for a man ( as if, you can you imagin it? I found my man on line, safe in the comfort of my dad's study because I didn't know about computers and was checking something for my sister. I was pretty sure I would never meet the kind of man I was waiting for in a night club...how right I was, mine was in the comfort of his dad's house waiting for me, Hoorah.
Anyway, one thing I was always sure would be quite high on my list of must haves in a man, was a good bottom. A big old hard bum to squeeze and look at it nice trousers.
WHERE HAVE ALL THE GOOD BUMS GONE?
Poor Sophie and the like, nothing but a world of flat arses in baggy pants. Not a good buttock to be seen, drooled over or found. So missing are the good bottoms that jeans are unable to stay up these days, droopy, empty baggy things hanging low.....whilst the women / girls have the mens share of bum.
The men have lost it and the women have found it, it is popping out of low cut jeans everywhere I turn, bum crack galore, not an iota of shame, to match the bums hanging out of the girls jeans seems to be an expanse of wobbling belly. Now my belly wobbles ( as well it might after 6 children) but I don't heave it up over the top of my jeans and show the world. It certainly wasn't wobbly a a teenager and if it had been I am sure, fashionable or not, I would have kept it tucked inside out of harms way. Who decided that this was a good look? Where are they? It is not nice. Really, it's not. Sad then that this particular fashion seems to be lasting as long as the thong one, fat bottoms escaping out of not only jeans but dental floss type underwear. Have mercy on my eyes.
I am very happy that my husband was born in a time when men had good hard bottoms that are covered in trousers that stay up and show just what a man's bum should look like, life just wouldn't be worth living for me if my husband had a flat bum that didn't fill his pants. No, not at all. I shall skip the foam party and stay at home to look at my H's bum. Perfect saturday night for me.