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Location: United Kingdom

Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Friday, June 20, 2008

Glad that's over ( for now)

I came to post about how great it is the the horrendous nightmare of the past few days is all OVER, phew. Only to see that it was all so horribly horrible that I didn't blog about it all ...yes, now you know how bad it was, even now I think it is best left in the distant memories shoved behind my aching head, twitching left nipple ( for I have to go off on a tangent and explain in detail about my twitching nipple because if I read a blog that mentioned in passing a twitching nipple and then left such a fabulous subject I would be as mad as all get out. So, stressful is not the best word for the past few days, at one point I looked at H and mentioned that OW have a big stabbing pain in my head, wonder why and he stood, back to Sophie and pulled a crooked face and asked why I didn't have a damn good eye twitch to go with that pain, he even bought home flowers today, FLOWERS from H? Things have been bad, he loves me, he showed me in a way he usually deems silly and unnecessary, wow, flowers. So we went shopping and as we walked around the store, he getting bread, me getting chicken, my left nipple began to vibrate, it was quite the most bizarre and intense feeling to have whilst bending over a cooked chicken stall ever.
What? on impulse, I grabbed my boob and looked down and then remembered where I was and stopped. Walked a few more steps, buuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, vibrating nipple. WTH?
Had to go and find H because a good wife will always share a vibrating nipple with her husband, even if they are in public.
"Hey, my nipple is buzzing" He didn't seem nearly impressed enough and asked which bread rolls we should have with our chicken and salad.
We went to pay and as I stood waiting to enter my pin number, I felt the buzzing again and looked down, I swear that my left nipple was visibly twitching!! It was only with the most enormous amount of restraint that I stopped myself from making the man on the check out look because Hell that is one great party trick isn't it? Look, you good folk may well get a tic in your eye when you are stressed but me? I get a nervous tic in my tit. I am, as always one step ahead.)
Anyway. The whole few days has all been a about Sophie, massive, public, colossal, meltdowns and scenes of such heartbreak and mental illness as I hope never to see again.
She is now back to normal, almost. She has saved her job, has sincerely apologised to everyone concerned ( but me, which is par for the course because I imagine that she thinks I know she is sorry and doesn't need to say it) She will still have her room and I will make sure she pays the rent when it is due so that she keeps the room.
The only good thing about episodes like this is that she now sees ( and we hope learned) that she needs her meds, that actually, even though it seems the world is out to get her, it is actually her paranoia and her poorly head that causes all her misery, people are just people and they are staying the same while she is hissing and spitting, swearing and hurting. Oh my goodness, this is such a long and painfully slow process.
However, this time next week I will be in Boston, actually there with my bags and my passport with pretty american dollars that look like monopoly money, that I don't have to buy toilet paper or cereal with. I will be spitting distance from Target and juice bottles by rubbermaid. I shall be able to buy clothes that fit my comfy and squishy gramma body without having to go to a fat girls shop.
I shall be eating out and ordering in, sleeping in a big old bed with just me.
I shall be leaving my bed unmade and finding it all made and tidy when I go back to my room with throbbing feet and happy heart.
Most of all though, I will be with, in real life, actually with the best friends a girl can ever hope to have. We have had weeks and weeks of chatting and emailing, endless laughing and crying and sharing and learning all about each other. So to know that this time next week I will be able to touch these people, see these woman, laugh with them, slap their hands when they are rude and make me snort my diet coke out of my nose, watch their faces contort as they laugh with me, well the shopping and the hotel and the restaurants all pale into insignificance, because really, that is absolutely the very best part of it all.
So, Jenn, Julie, Cathy, Rachel, Sara, Gretchen, Michelle 1 and Michelle 2, Jackie, Di and Colleen...I have had the best time this past few weeks getting ready to meet you in person, the chats, the emails, the laughter and the impatience is all part of what is to be next week. Jamie will be there next week but she has missed out on all the preparation and so much fun in the run up to the meet up, I hope that she will still enjoy the weekend, I know for sure that we all will, if the nightly chats are anything to go by, iron pelvic floor muscles or not, I have a feeling that we might all do well by packing some lady tena pads, depends or anything useful in times of incontinence.
I don;t think any of us are bringing our laptops, we will all be so busy doing that we don't think we have time for writing, no chatting online because we will all be there, in the SAME ROOM!
So blogs will be left unwritten, posts on websites we frequent will be scarce and intermittent, some will be home on sunday and others monday, I won't get home until tuesday afternoon. I shall be weary and full to bursting with American fare and memories.
I shall also be more than a little sad because the past few months have been so filled with preparing and planning, saving and imagining, I can't even begin to imagine how empty I will feel when it is done, over, finished.
I guess we will just have to start planning the next one, bigger maybe, different certainly but better? I don't think anything could ever be better than what we have planned for this time next week.
Nearly there girls! The wait is almost over. Oh I am so excited I think my nipple might vibrate!

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Blogger noname said...

I've had the nipple buzz a couple of times. It truly is a bizzare feeling, isn't it?

This week I've had an eye twitch everytime Bear has come to talk to me. And the stomach burn. Ugh.

Continue to send good thoughts for you and Sophie. Have a blast in Boston! Can't wait to hear about all the fun you had. :)

9:18 pm  
Blogger Rachel said...

Buzzing nipple. I can't even imagine.

Flowers from H? That's truly momentous!

I think our next trip should be to England or Canada. I'll start saving now. But I might have to bring baby Seth or Helen!

9:49 pm  
Anonymous Sara P. said...

Okay... "I am so excited I think my nipple might vibrate!" goes down in history as the very best blog closing ever, in the history of blogs.

And I am excited too... ;o)

11:50 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What an amazing way with words you have Helen. I love reading your blog. I cannot wait to see that beautiful face of yours and everyone and give the biggest of the biggest of the HUGEST hugs to each one of you!

2:26 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

What? No laptop or blogging? Get that idea right out of your head. It will be Sara's time to update since she is local and all set up and I expect at least something.

9:53 am  
Blogger Julie Q said...

I will miss your updates Helen. :) I do hope you have a wonderful time.

So glad to hear Sophie's come through another rough patch. Sounds like it was a bad one. :(

1:01 pm  
Blogger Jenn said...

do you think the nipple vibrating is contagious? If so I'm going to stand right next to you, and give you the biggest hug ever. How fun - buzzing nipples and all. Give us all a thrill when we hug you :p
Love you. Love your blog. Can't wait til Friday.
I imagine my sides will be aching and my cheeks hurting after this weekend - and yes, we'll have the post Boston glow which will fade a bit and then we'll start planning our next get together....

4:12 pm  
Blogger Stetch said...

yay! so she's back on her meds? poo! she better be!

Man you are going to have sooo much fun in Boston! Can't wait all about it.

9:03 pm  
Anonymous Di said...

Oh Helen - How I love thee!
I cannot wait for Friday...this Friday! To finally meet everyone in person. I'm looking forward to lots of laughs and just the awesomeness of being with a bunch of women who have made my life better just by being in it.
And like Jenn, I will stand next to you and hope that the twitching tit is catching. :)
Safe travel dear friend!

2:11 pm  

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