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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

It's my party...

I am over it! I want to say that in case anyone that came to the party is reading this. It's my blog and I am going to say how horrible I have been for the last day or two ..so I remember not to make the same mistakes next year ( when we don't do a party like this years!)
It's just over 4 weeks til we go to Boston, I am saving as well as I can and thought I had done really well, my mistake was not changing the money over as I got it but keeping it in the bank until there was enough to make a transaction worthwhile...sounds sensible doesn't it? It does unless you are like me and you throw a party, one that you want to be wonderful for everyone that comes and you keep popping out to get that one last thing that will perfect it....because you have plenty of money in the bank, right? Right...then you have the party and it seems like a few hours of complete chaos, it doesn't seem like it went well, you feel sure that it was a flop, oh well, it's done, get over it...then you go to the bank to withdraw all that money you have been saving for your trip and see that you spent way WAY more on the stupid party than you ever imagined, those trips, spending £20 here and £40 there added up and pretty much half of your hard earned cash has gone, pppphut! Disappeared on a totally unenjoyable flop of a party.
*$%*"$!!!!!
So yesterday I was so miserable, so mad at myself, so completely and utterly stumped as to WHAT THE HELL DO I DO NOW?!?!
Well what I did now, was say to myself that no-one made me be so stupid about the party, looking at the pictures I see that other people DID have fun, I know we should have organised much more structured fun, the whole let them rip thing? Bad mistake, in years past we had a great mix of big kids and little kids and they really did enjoy just being able to have fun..this year we had over 30 little kids ( all between 4 and 9) and a few teenagers who were there because their parents told them they were going to be there and we had mayhem.
We had ripping off the walls of decorations and then wanton destruction of the same, we had way too much freedom with the smoke machine, we had too many kids with far too much sugar and ...well imagine it, that's how it was.
I couldn't sit in the front room where civilised people were sitting because I was quite keen to ensure the whole house wasn't trashed, I was also keen that the hyper than hyped kids didn't actually maim the slightly more reserved children.
I took what I had left in the bank and changed it to $s and I am going to do that every time I am paid, I will leave enough to live on and pay bills and we will be eating inventive and ridiculously cheap meals until Dec! Lesson learned, I will not be going crazy like that again, believe me.
Next year and I am sure we will do a party next year, we will have structure and set games, we will have invitations that are not handed out willy nilly and we will not have an open invite.
I did enjoy the after time of the party when one family who had arrived much later, remained after everyone else had left, I got to know them much better and I really was glad to spend that time with them.
We were all worn out after the party and for the first time ever, left the mess, that was another factor in the miserable saturday, sitting amidst chaos and mess and then seeing how little was left in the bank...that was a bad moment! I went back to bed until way after lunch and when I woke up again, H had cleaned, cleared, packed and organised, my mood lifted and things have gone better ever since.
I accept all the 'blame' for the mistakes this year, it is most unlike me to be so cavalier with money and to have not kept a close eye on what I was spending ( another factor that added to my irritation! No-one else to yell at !) I absolutely ignored all my inner promptings to set up games etc ( thinking the doughnut game and pinata would be enough ..oh foolish me!)
I am completely over my tantrum, spectacular as it was. I am happy about what we did, what I learned and am sure that Sophie and I will have a lovely time in Boston despite the fact that I will be doing considerably less shopping than I planned!
Sophie is very ready for the off, she is getting anxious to just go and have fun ( and so am I!)
Christmas is hurtling towards us and this year we intend to keep with our 'less is more' policy, concentrating on things other than gifts, the boys will have lovely stockings and 3 hearts desires under the tree, the last years have been so wonderful, with all the focus on being with family, decorating, treats unlimited for a few days, watching movies, visiting and being visited.
The boys have already made lists and I am thrilled to see that they are simple and achievable, small and exciting things that little boys can be excited about. Not a Nintedo Wii or DS to be seen. ( hooray, would hate to disappoint! Great that they have a big brother who does have a Wii and they go there and play for a while without getting stuck to the controls and forgetting that other things exist!)
Also, on friday, just as I was beginning to feel panic that things wouldn't get finished, the calendar alarm on my cell phone went off and reminded me that I had to go to the DWP ( benefits office) for what I thought was a regular review. Argh! I made it in time, onlt to discover that it was actually an interview with the fraud squad! ME! Mrs do it all by the book and don't ever risk anything illegal or fraudulent ever. ME!!
I was so past caring by this time, what with medical reviews and tribunals and more medical reviews and more phone calls, I just looked at him and said " Oh, right so why am I here then?"
"I am a compliance officer, what would you think that means?"
"could it mean that you try to find out of people like me are complying with your rules and regulations?"
"Yes, indeed, well done! " ( hmm, I wonder why there are so many posters up saying how outbursts of physical abuse will not be tolerated, could the condescending and sarcastic tone be a trigger often do you think?)
Anyway it ended with him telling me how pointless his job is, how easy it is to get away with fiddling the government and really there is precious little anyone can do when they do catch a rip off merchant and then, that he seems pretty sure I am on the level and as I looked him right in the eye, am honest and trustworthy. Wonderful, til next time. Bloody hell.
It was just a rotten weekend all in all, turned out OK in the end though and that's what matters after all. I think.
Still, it's all over now, a new week is about to begin, one closer to a few days of fun with my friends, can't come quickly enough if you ask me.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Cathy said...

I don't think I have ever read a single post of yours that made me sad. This one did. I'm sorry that you felt that the party was a flop and a free for all! I'm sure that every single soul there had a blast and is already looking forward to next years! I know how hard it is to stop getting that one last thing that will just make the party better. Trust you me, I know!

I can NOT wait until December. I feel like it's a long lost family member coming to visit. Well, I'm not to far off, you are like family and to be honest, I'm loving you much more then some of my own family!

I know you hate the cyber hugs so I will save it and give it to you in December. Heck, I might even sneak in a kiss!

Love you so

12:09 am  
Blogger G said...

I am sorry that you've been through the pits lately. I hope that December comes in Godspeed and you and Sophie have the amazing time that you so truly deserve (no hope necessary in that bit you will have amazing company that would not allow for anything but amazing). :) HUGS HUGS HUGS.

3:15 pm  
Blogger Sara said...

Oh Helen... I can't imagine that you feel that your wonderful party was a flop. As you said yourself, you can see int he photos that others were having fun. :O) Now, I totally understand that YOU were not having fun. (Such is the life of the hostess, they say!) It is wonderful that you bring your friends and neighbors this Halloween fun and I am sorry that some took advantage of that. As for the overspending, aren't we all guilty of that sometimes? Hang in there and know that it is ot long now... I am so looking forward to seeing you and meeting Sophie. ((Hugs!))

7:27 pm  
Blogger Sara said...

Oh Helen... I can't imagine that you feel that your wonderful party was a flop. As you said yourself, you can see int he photos that others were having fun. :O) Now, I totally understand that YOU were not having fun. (Such is the life of the hostess, they say!) It is wonderful that you bring your friends and neighbors this Halloween fun and I am sorry that some took advantage of that. As for the overspending, aren't we all guilty of that sometimes? Hang in there and know that it is ot long now... I am so looking forward to seeing you and meeting Sophie. ((Hugs!))

7:27 pm  
Blogger Michelle-Ann said...

Helen, I am sorry you felt overwhelmed, I certainly have had those moments when I looked at the checking account and said very bad words. You are very determined and I know that all will be okay. Hugs!!!

1:52 pm  
Blogger Jenn said...

Ugh. I hate the crappy days. At least I know I'm not the only one who gets cross at myself and gets into a snit for a few days over my own actions and regrets.
I'm sorry you did not enjoy the party that you were looking forward to - I can bet that others did. Much easier when someone else goes to all the trouble and expense. I guarantee you, the best part of Boston will not be the shopping for things - but the people you see, and the laughter and the joy of true friends.

2:36 pm  

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