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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I'm not sure I like this.

This....the big kid, the one whose feet stink and who will spend 30 minutes trying to explain why he DOES NOT NEED A SHOWER, who has an attack of the vapours should I mention putting his clothes into the wash, yet spends an inordinate amount of time getting that quiff just right every morning. The hair is his trade mark, he loves the hair, he likes it cut every 3-4 weeks, short everywhere but that bit right in front that is dampened and then gelled with such care each and every morning.

When did he stop being a teeny little brainiac, who would open his mouth and astound anyone within earshot? When did he start using that brain and that mouth to drive me near insane? He will argue black is white, he is by far the most argumentative and stubborn little git I have ever come across. The worst part is he is SO smart, there is no winging it with this boy, one step ahead or you're going to get trampled.
I am sweating because I am pretty sure that at the age of 8 years and 7 months I am no longer able to use the " Because I said so" card. That doesn't work with Seth, he needs REAL reasons. Reasonable and acceptable reasons why he should, or shouldn't do a certain thing. The problem with THAT is that there never IS a reasonable and acceptable reason for Seth if he doesn't want to do them.

He is incredibly clever, exceptionally polite to teachers and older people, he is a popular and funny friend...and he brings out the very best and the very worst in me.
Today I remembered that he is 8 years old, he weighs 45lbs, he is not the boss of ME!
I picked him up from school and yet again, because ( due to rain and wind and COLDNESS) we were not staying behind for him to play basketball with the big kids, he started his tirade of how unfair this was, how thoughtless I am, how miserable and dull and deprived his life is. He whined and answered back, he stomped and picked on his brothers, he riled Elijah until Eli kicked and punched him.
I walked to the car and told the boys that they had blown the thursday Mac Donald's trip. Suddenly he was sorry and Eli was sad, Isaac just did what Isaac does and he sat in the car and sighed a bit and kept his mouth shut.
Seth continued all the way home to try and make me understand the error of my ways, right as we reached our road, Eli said " I am sorry, if I am a good boy tomorrow, maybe can I have Mcdonalds tomorrow?" I told him that that was indeed a possibility for him because he had apologised and he had been a good boy in the car, I also said that that wasn't a possibility for Seth because he had NOT been a good boy and he had been so rude and so disrespectful that his chance was blown until next week..and even then it was not a definite.
He was furious and said " Oh there you go again..showing us just how selfish you are"
Oh yes, he DID.
I pulled up outside our house and said " Isaac, stay in the car"
"Because we are going back to Mcdonalds, you have been a superb boy, we can drop Seth off and Eli off and we can go back"
Oh my goodness.
Seth just about blew a gasket, Eli was a little sad but reminded himself that if he is a good boy tomorrow maybe it would be his turn then but Seth? He could only see the INJUSTICE and the outright favouritism, he wept and he said how sorry he was that Isaac was a creep and he so WAS sorry for being rude because why else was he crying, look REALLY CRYING!
He cried in the car and he cried when we got into the house, he cried all the way upstairs with H following him saying that he could make that noise in his room as long as he liked but he cure wasn't going to make it anywhere near him, he cried when I went back to the car and guess what? He cried again when we came home!
Seems he had stopped while Isaac and I were out, Isaac chose to go to Asda and pick up 2 new cars instead of going to Mac D's because he so loves Eli that eating without him wasn't going to be fun for him, so he chose 2 new cars and said " If Eli has stopped all that nonsense when we get home he can play with me"
When we got home and Seth saw that Isaac had new TOYS that he could " rub my face in that for days!" I'm afraid it was all too much for him and he started crying again in earnest.
It astounds me that someone so smart can take so long to grasp the simplest of lessons.
Tomorrow I will be able to talk to Seth and maybe get my point across, I told him that I am tired of him thinking that he rules the roost and I am very tired of having him speak to me in such a disrespectful way. H and I explained that enough is enough and from now on, punishment will be swift and it will be consistent and it will be sufficient to help him learn that he is not right all the time. That he is not the be all and end all and the world does not revolve around him.
I look at this boy and I see a teenager right there and unless we can help him see very quickly that we do know best and we so ARE in charge, life will be very very un-fun when he hits his teens.
I also look at him and see the funniest, quirkiest, sweetest little pixie faced boy in the world.



Blogger Colleen said...

Oh Helen . .I'm taking lessons on this one! Jonathan has some of the same qualities and quirks of Seth . . .and we are so trying to nip it in the bud, failing miserably at the moment but it gives me hope as I follow along with you!
Love ya!

12:20 am  
Blogger Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

sometimes parenting is SO freaking hard :((

5:26 am  
Anonymous SaraMac said...

Ahhh that is exactly what Jack would do!!!!! I am absolutly baffled why absolute genius children can be so dumb :-D Even Amie get's that screaming tantrum's with water works just doesn't work :-D

7:52 am  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You did well!

10:37 am  
Blogger MamaTink said...

Hugs!! Job well done Mum... but what a lousy job it can be sometimes!!

10:38 am  
Blogger Julie Q said...

Doing it all again, brings back memories! Ugh! I really couldn't imagine it times three. :)

I do hope today goes better Helen.

11:12 am  
Blogger sarah said...

u did well...he is a handsome

11:30 am  
Blogger Tired Mom of Six said...

You are so smart Helen. I need lessons. I'm afraid I yell when I should be clever like that. I'm taking notes!!

12:27 pm  
Anonymous Gemma said...

I get the exact same thing with Sam! It baffles and infuriates me how he just DOES NOT get it! Glad to see Sam isn't the only one!

8:38 pm  

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