Probably shouldn't be taken too seriously

Today is one of those days where I feel that perhaps being a lesbian who loves cats would be a good life. ( actually, if I could find a lesbian who could put up shelves and fix cars I'd be sorely tempted to give it a go) I neither like men or children today and as I have 1 man, 5 sons and a daughter I feel my lot is hard.
Children are sent to try us, we all know that. We know that if we list the pros and con's we see very clearly that being a parent is a mugs game...on the con's list we have expense, breakages to pay for ( eg sinks that are broken with coloured pencils, toilets blocked with endless rolls of toilet paper and toys flushed etc etc), clothes to buy and give away when they refuse to wear them because...because why? Oh yes because white tee shirts are scary and shorts will hurt apparantly. Toys to buy and throw away because somehow it seems the toys today aren't made to last, even taking them out of the box with 327 welded together ties is a risky business and chances are if you get it out in one piece it will need batteries and by the time you remember to buy the batteries they will have lost interest in the toy...hooray for car boot sales where the stuff is already unwrapped, almost always has batteries included and you don't care if they hate it after a week because it cost £1.20.
We deal with screaming because you because you didn't cut the sandwich, screaming because you did cut the sandwich and they wanted squares not triangles or triangles not squares and screaming because they want toast not a sandwich.
They fight with each other, fight with me, fight with themselves when they are beyond tired and feel they are going to fall asleep any minute and Lord forbid life should be THAT simple.
We deal with all this and let's not even venture into the life when they are sick ( too clear and painful a memory at the moment having just done the marathon cold thing with the whole family)
But we do it and we gain our reward...we really do, we honestly and truthfully feel totally paid back, in full, by what?...a smile!

When they are tiny you feel able to deal with it all until about 5 weeks when the new novelty is wearing off and your bones and in fact your very soul feels ready to melt because you are so tired- and just as you think you will die and you should really have stuck with a tamagotchi they bloody well go and give you one of those wobbly gob dimply cheeked, toothless smiles. AHA!! Its WORTH IT!

I can DO this, you think..and off you go again.....its amazing how clever mother nature is because just as you hit the wall again they chuckle.....I will admit that by the time they reach their teens the payback is nigh on impossible to see but that's good because miracle of miracles, the glorious child who you would look at and melt and wonder how you would ever keep the will to live when the time came for them to fly the nest has so long gone you are looking in the yellow pages for rent a cuckoo to come and hoist the little shite out.
So that's kids for you but what about husbands? I might need to reflect on that one and do a part 2 tomorrow.

Ooh lucky you...here's part 2! Husbands....

I read once about a couple who had been married for 70 years, " what is your secret" they were asked . "well, said the wife, when we got married I told myself that I would allow him 5 things that were incredibly irritating and I would not get angry about them and I wouldn't mention them "
" oh...what are the 5 things you allow him?"
" my dear...I never wrote them down or even listed them in my head, when he really irritates me I simply tell myself that this is one of the 5 things and I let it go"

MARVELLOUS!
I have an idea that husbands shouldn't have opinions of their own, it's asking for trouble and life would be infinitely simpler if husbands just thought everything their wives said, did or wanted was the perfect thing.
My first husband was a bit like that but more because he was too stupid to think with anything that wasn't in his underwear and so I managed to drift through that short sojourn into matrimonial boredom pretty much unimpeded until the thing he did think with led him to another poor woman, which left me totally able to do as I pleased and I had 10 years to let rip and truly learn the joy of independance.
Husband number 2 has opinions. Damn. He is also here all the time. Damn Damn.
I can tell you that it is the hardest thing in my world to have to consider H's view point and preferences. I am so sure that I am right and pretty darn brilliant that I want him to just let me do what I know I am good at and do little more than tell me how pretty darn brilliant I am.
He doesn't. Damn Damn Damn. He wants me to listen to him and ... get this...sometimes he wants me to do things HIS way? I ask you, that can't be right can it?
Did I tell you how I 'get' toddlers? I did and I know I did, but this husband makes me want to do the purple faced scream thing and the fling myself on the floor thing and then in an effort to be marginally more mature I can just about manage to reach the door slamming " I hate you" thing of the adolescent..... I can be such a brat ( in my head of course, the outside me still clings to respectability and hold-backedness) I need something but just can't figure what it is I need.
I actually feel as if I would thrive if I went out to work, I have got as far as filling in an application, talking to the organiser for the home nursing team here and my heart knows that it could soar if I went out and did this. My head tells me though, that now is not the time. There are so many commitments here with the boys, I have appointments for Isaac and Elijah til they come out of my ears, Seth has stuff to do with his eyes too and it has to be me that takes them. Special needs take special time and these years are so important that to mess up would mean a lifetime of regrets.
Because this is my blog, not H's, I won't go into why all the big stuff is down to me but can only say that this is how it is. Fill in the damns if you like, but make sure there are plenty.
I do know that it is less than a year until it might well be possible for me to go out and work but right now, as huge as that dream is, it has to stay a dream. Just for now though, I am going to look into maybe doing some training that CAN be done while Isaac is still at home part of the day and when he starts school in January maybe I will better prepared to go out and do something even better. I have an appointment on friday to see what is available to me.
I've never even thought through a pros and cons list for husbands...never seemed a sensible idea somehow. I'm almost certain that if I did I wouldn't think a wobbly toothless grin would be sufficient payback for all the headaches though!