.jpg)
I find myself sort of excited about something rather bizarre. I spoke to my doctor today about losing weight and my complete inabilty to get my mouth to do what my head tells it, which is to shut itself and stop allowing itself to eat delicious yet nutritionally hopeless and fattening foods. I blame my mother, we have to blame someone and it is probably her fault as she was the one who made eating such a treat after every horrid thing we dealt with during dad's illness, I bet she used to bribe me with chocolate when I was 3 or something. I'll bet she did.
Anyway, nice doctor ( who didn't once mention walking , nice doctor) said that she will help me. She told me about the drug that my old doctor mentioned...you know, the one who told me I would feel great if I went for walks, nice idea but when it's a mammoth task to get out of bed in the morning the last thing you want is to stomp up hills, even if the view is pleasant.
So, I am to lose a mere 3lbs in 2 weeks and then can begin to take a drug that will expel fat from my being. Sounds marvellous doesn't it? Actually it sounds perfect for me because what it does is this...if you cheat and eat crappy stuff with fat in it, your body punishes you and makes you shoot that evil fat out. I am told that even a little cheat will cause you discomfort and perhaps even the possibility of losing control of your bowels, staining was mentioned, this is SERIOUS stuff. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW.
Oh flatulence could be a problem too.
I think my bottom is already afraid, it has been practising all evening. Every time I think of how it will be if I take this medicine and try and sneak a chip or 12 I feel my bowels contract and quiver in fear. It's great stuff, even the thought of it is making me check the fat content of fizzy water. I feel positively skinny and fit already ( as well as exhausted and in need of a comfy pillow to sit on.)
So tomorrow will see the start of my new regime, H is joining me, he's not a bad old boy really. He sang today and told me he learned how at 'talk twenny one'. Funny.
Anyway, nice doctor ( who didn't once mention walking , nice doctor) said that she will help me. She told me about the drug that my old doctor mentioned...you know, the one who told me I would feel great if I went for walks, nice idea but when it's a mammoth task to get out of bed in the morning the last thing you want is to stomp up hills, even if the view is pleasant.
So, I am to lose a mere 3lbs in 2 weeks and then can begin to take a drug that will expel fat from my being. Sounds marvellous doesn't it? Actually it sounds perfect for me because what it does is this...if you cheat and eat crappy stuff with fat in it, your body punishes you and makes you shoot that evil fat out. I am told that even a little cheat will cause you discomfort and perhaps even the possibility of losing control of your bowels, staining was mentioned, this is SERIOUS stuff. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWW.
Oh flatulence could be a problem too.
I think my bottom is already afraid, it has been practising all evening. Every time I think of how it will be if I take this medicine and try and sneak a chip or 12 I feel my bowels contract and quiver in fear. It's great stuff, even the thought of it is making me check the fat content of fizzy water. I feel positively skinny and fit already ( as well as exhausted and in need of a comfy pillow to sit on.)
So tomorrow will see the start of my new regime, H is joining me, he's not a bad old boy really. He sang today and told me he learned how at 'talk twenny one'. Funny.
posted by The other me | 11:03 pm
5 Comments:
Good luck with it Helen. :)
Do you have baked lays there? Nearly no fat in them. I love the salt on them. Yummy!
Staining?? yikes. More power to you! I think my bowels are quivering in fear for yours Helen!! LOL
I relly hope it works or you! And to the doctor who suggested walks???
PFFFFFFTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!
~Lisa~
Ugh...I can't believe you would do that to yourself rather than control what you put in your mouth! Seems such a harsh way to treat your body. But if it works for you then go for it...just don't ever be too far away from the loo!
Oh GL GL GL GL!!!!
My bowels are all a-quiver for you :)
Hugs
Julie
You can do this Helen - I have faith in you!
you know my dear husband lost a good amount of weight on a special programme, and kept up with it for over a year, and DID retrain how he approaches food. He has gained a bit back, but no where near what he used to be, and he's continuing to eat much more healthily than he did before.
Way to go, on taking this first step!
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home