The stuff that really, only mummies do.

I know I was only away for 3 days, amazing what can happen, or not in such a short time!
My biggest worry was that H and Sophie would clash...not so, they got on famously, with my girlie one helping out and taking Eli-oh out for the day on monday ( where he went all day without a single accident, no pull ups, hoorah! we do believe he has cracked it at last!!)
I didn't get a single phone call , not one, texts from sophie just saying she missed me, a skype from H that didn't work because my laptop doesn't have a microphone! Apart from that they all let me just do what I was doing, heaven.
H is magnificent, sort of, domesticated in a masculine way and helpful. Observant where housework is concerned though, nah... he is a man, he sees not those things that smack me in the face and make me do them, little touches like changing the bathroom towels, cleaning the sink, emptying the bin that fills to capacity every day in this front room, oh and bathing the kids. BATHING the kids.....3 days, well actually 5 because somehow we missed 2 days before I went away and so I know I said that they really MUST have a bath. They were wiped clean with baby wipes I suspect, I know H would never send them to school with dirty faces, he is a bit obsessed with the morning wiping and hair combing thing.
We still have our house guest and it's unsure how long she will be here. Sweet little thing who most of us love but don't quite 'get.' Sophie, get this, SOPHIE is having a hard time because Danielle can talk, really talk, leave Sophie in the shade talk!
SO funny to hear Sophie take a sharp breath in and almost groan because she is in for another session of talking! She is weary of finding her stuff used, or moved or missing, I even heard her say something about cups and plates left in her room...ha ha!!
I feel sad for this little girl because she really IS just a regular teenager, she did argue with her step-dad but nothing more than any teenager will battle for what they feel is right.
She wanted to meet her 'real' dad , he left when she was tiny and her mum decided that she didn't need contact with her dad. Last year she said that she wanted to find him, meet him, get to know him...her mum was so angry that she told Danielle to leave, so she did and lived with her dad who really had no idea what to do...he told her he wanted his life back ( and his room, he has just a 1 bed appt) social services put her in a place that was so scary for her filled with kids that have made really iffy choices, she was so scared that her dad took her back for a while but soon enough told her to leave.
She isn't very well right now, she has a UTI and is run down, she has battled with bulimia in the past and I'm not sure she is over that completely. I feel so sad that her mum has no other children and a 5 bedroomed house just 4 miles away and yet there has been no contact for months and months.
She is constantly asking if we are sick of her yet ( and we're not, but being asked all the time kind of makes you wonder!!) every girl this age should have space and 'stuff' of their own, she has one shopping bag with clothes and that's it. She has a boyfriend who I have yet to see, who calls her when she is asleep at 11pm and she gets up and goes to him, almost every night.
What happened to common manners? What about keeping her safe? Why can't he come and meet her or walk her home? She must think she is worth crap really.
What a huge responsibility we have as parents, even when they seem or think they seem all grown up, we still have the responsibility to teach them what their worth is and if we can't show them that ..well then they are headed for nothing but heartache, allowing everyone around them to treat them like dirt.
If their parents can't be bothered and turn away, how can they think they are of any worth whatsoever?
I am the last person to talk about the joys of teenagers because really, they are pretty revolting, but if you can see that they are just very big, very loud children, thrust into a hormonal hell of insecurity and uncertainty, if you can somehow look past that bloody awful me me me obsession, they are sort of sweet in a terrifying way.
Personally I am sort of looking forward to the day when this phase is something we look back at and laugh. We are winging it with style in this house where the big kids are concerned, thinking on our feet, keeping the larder full and the our ears open and hoping beyond hope that we accidentally get it right. If we do, I shall write about it all as if I knew exactly what I was doing because, honestly? I am practically perfect in every way, but you'll know the truth and that is .... we are bloody brilliant at sounding as if we know what we are doing and even better at making them believe it. If my kids leave home feeling sure that they are splendid and can hold ther heads up and look both themselves and other people in the eye, I'll feel pretty damn good about this parenting lark.
Actually, I already feel pretty good about it, it isn't a bad old job really.