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Don't trifle with me.
I did something today that I have never done in my life. Ever.
I shall share with you the events that led up to my actions.
This morning we had the final rehearsal for the primary presentation tomorrow, little people practising something that lasts for an hour that doesn't include power rangers or jumping. Now, this was an impromptu rehearsal and so we weren't expecting every parent to bring their child/ren.
What you do find though is that parents who have what we call ( when we are being kind) 'bouncy' children, you know, the lively ones....well they ALWAYS bring their kids, never fail, those ones will always be there, especially on a saturday. So we had 2 hours of bouncy children ( mine included) Home again home again jiggety jig.
Time to shop.
Nice time, me and Sophie the girl child.
We went to Totnes, splendid place filled with quaint shops and a saturday market. We walked and browsed and found a christmas tree man who was selling the most resplendant trees, not a scraggly thing to be seen , big tall trees with thick branches and a steal at £25 each. I wasn't getting the tree until monday but there it was, and there I was, and I bought it.
Marvellous.
Back to the car for the boring stuff like bread and milk and trifle. Trifle isn't boring, it is delicious and H adores it so I bought 2, kind me . Jelly, strawberries and sponge and custard all topped with whipped cream. Heaven in a plastic bowl.
Home we went ( again) Grumpy H.
Dear life.
If Christmas were left to H it would begin on Christmas eve and end the day after christmas which is boxing day, so it jolly well carries on thankyou very much.
He was grumpy because impatient me had to buy the damn tree and not wait til monday......the kids have to be out of the house when we do the tree, apparantly.
He is right in saying that if they are here, chances are I will end up yelling, I try not to but they all try to get right THERE and push and shove and drive me so crazy, my gob opens all on its own and yells my tonsils into a frenzy. He wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell him that I can't decorate the tree until monday anyway because it has to be allowed to drop, its scrunched in a net and needs to relax before I strangle it with lights and ribbons and baubles. All this while I was unpacking the dull stuff like eggs and bread and trifle ( that isn't boring and was bought for him, dammit) It was almost controlled arguing until he walked away from me and something in me just found that the very last straw. It was then that I did the never before thing.
I looked through the red mist and saw the back of his head and I threw the trifle, really hard, with such relish........I might feel a bit sorry later, but right then ( and still a bit now) it felt so bloody good. I understood, in that moment, plate smashers, what a marvellous release of tension. His face was a bit scary in a funny sort of way and I felt I should probably say that getting me back in any way was not a good idea.
We had a bit of a stoney silence for an hour or so while I felt sorry for myself and dredged up every grudge I might be harbouring against him, until he asked if I wanted some chinese food and he went and got me delicious chow mein and some chicken and sweetcorn soup. We're friends again now, even if he is just the most humbuggy of Bahs.
Everything but the food is bought, most of it is wrapped, by me. I don't mind a bit... but I really take umbridge if anyone tries to stop ME enjoying it.
I could care less if H wants to pretend the whole thing is a dream, if he feels like sitting in a corner and wishing it would all go away until the 24 th that's fine, just don't say a word to me about not doing it, it is 2 weeks til christmas, not too soon by any means to decorate and fill this house with foliage, yuletide joy and festive fripperies.
Dan is coming on monday, Jordan has the day off too ( hooray an unexpected treat!) so the big kids and I will go shopping for gifts...I confiscated half of Jordan's wages so he will have some cash, Sophie gets paid ( although she has bought most of hers already) Eli is at gramma's and H can sit in blissful silence and wish it was boxing day. Thing is...he actually LOVES it all when its here, I could strangle him when he talks to his dad as he sits and chats about everything 'we' have done/ got / organised.....he is sitting here as I type, trying not to let on that he is telling grandpa that we have a tree. Except I can hear him, so I know that he is really alright with the whole ho ho whole thing. He will be thrilled everytime someone says how beautiful it all is and how clever we are ........ bah bah humbugger it.
I shall share with you the events that led up to my actions.
This morning we had the final rehearsal for the primary presentation tomorrow, little people practising something that lasts for an hour that doesn't include power rangers or jumping. Now, this was an impromptu rehearsal and so we weren't expecting every parent to bring their child/ren.
What you do find though is that parents who have what we call ( when we are being kind) 'bouncy' children, you know, the lively ones....well they ALWAYS bring their kids, never fail, those ones will always be there, especially on a saturday. So we had 2 hours of bouncy children ( mine included) Home again home again jiggety jig.
Time to shop.
Nice time, me and Sophie the girl child.
We went to Totnes, splendid place filled with quaint shops and a saturday market. We walked and browsed and found a christmas tree man who was selling the most resplendant trees, not a scraggly thing to be seen , big tall trees with thick branches and a steal at £25 each. I wasn't getting the tree until monday but there it was, and there I was, and I bought it.
Marvellous.
Back to the car for the boring stuff like bread and milk and trifle. Trifle isn't boring, it is delicious and H adores it so I bought 2, kind me . Jelly, strawberries and sponge and custard all topped with whipped cream. Heaven in a plastic bowl.
Home we went ( again) Grumpy H.
Dear life.
If Christmas were left to H it would begin on Christmas eve and end the day after christmas which is boxing day, so it jolly well carries on thankyou very much.
He was grumpy because impatient me had to buy the damn tree and not wait til monday......the kids have to be out of the house when we do the tree, apparantly.
He is right in saying that if they are here, chances are I will end up yelling, I try not to but they all try to get right THERE and push and shove and drive me so crazy, my gob opens all on its own and yells my tonsils into a frenzy. He wouldn't listen to me when I tried to tell him that I can't decorate the tree until monday anyway because it has to be allowed to drop, its scrunched in a net and needs to relax before I strangle it with lights and ribbons and baubles. All this while I was unpacking the dull stuff like eggs and bread and trifle ( that isn't boring and was bought for him, dammit) It was almost controlled arguing until he walked away from me and something in me just found that the very last straw. It was then that I did the never before thing.
I looked through the red mist and saw the back of his head and I threw the trifle, really hard, with such relish........I might feel a bit sorry later, but right then ( and still a bit now) it felt so bloody good. I understood, in that moment, plate smashers, what a marvellous release of tension. His face was a bit scary in a funny sort of way and I felt I should probably say that getting me back in any way was not a good idea.
We had a bit of a stoney silence for an hour or so while I felt sorry for myself and dredged up every grudge I might be harbouring against him, until he asked if I wanted some chinese food and he went and got me delicious chow mein and some chicken and sweetcorn soup. We're friends again now, even if he is just the most humbuggy of Bahs.
Everything but the food is bought, most of it is wrapped, by me. I don't mind a bit... but I really take umbridge if anyone tries to stop ME enjoying it.
I could care less if H wants to pretend the whole thing is a dream, if he feels like sitting in a corner and wishing it would all go away until the 24 th that's fine, just don't say a word to me about not doing it, it is 2 weeks til christmas, not too soon by any means to decorate and fill this house with foliage, yuletide joy and festive fripperies.
Dan is coming on monday, Jordan has the day off too ( hooray an unexpected treat!) so the big kids and I will go shopping for gifts...I confiscated half of Jordan's wages so he will have some cash, Sophie gets paid ( although she has bought most of hers already) Eli is at gramma's and H can sit in blissful silence and wish it was boxing day. Thing is...he actually LOVES it all when its here, I could strangle him when he talks to his dad as he sits and chats about everything 'we' have done/ got / organised.....he is sitting here as I type, trying not to let on that he is telling grandpa that we have a tree. Except I can hear him, so I know that he is really alright with the whole ho ho whole thing. He will be thrilled everytime someone says how beautiful it all is and how clever we are ........ bah bah humbugger it.
posted by The other me | 7:19 pm
8 Comments:
hahahhahahahahah - I so wish there was a picture of you looking all mad with the thrown trifle in mid launch towards the unsuspecting grinchy back of the head!
My dear Helen, I bet it felt great to do that - and if that's the first time you've ever lost your temper to that extent, well then, you have the most extreme patience!
We've had our tree up since Dec 2nd. Kids have been pestering us since Halloween to put it up - it is decorated from about 1/2 way up, as Joey still doesn't understand that the candy canes must remain ON the tree until Christmas morning when they are allowed to go crazy - and eat candy and christmas treats all day, and play with their new presents!
Oh I can hardly wait - It's going to be an awesome Christmas this year - and not because of anything I'm anticipating getting, but because I know the kids are going to be MORE than thrilled. That's my gift :)
It also sounds like H is missing his dad as he's usually there for Christmas and you're probably missing yours. Which is totally normal. I know how hard my first Christmas was without my mom. It's weird watching you and my friend Mary who's dad died in September going through what I went through the last year. My heart aches for both of you. I will always grieve for my mother. It does get a little easier with time.
Now for the lighter side. I spent about 45 minutes talking to Grandpa in the driveway on Friday My gosh did we talk about just everything. We talked about wills, his childhood, drinking, children, and other stuff. I told him that I liked Tracey until she made a comment like Grandpa was going to leave the house to them because his other children have their own homes. I told him just makes me so mad when people talk about what they'll get when someone dies. That just makes me so mad. I would rather have that person here than all the money in the world. That's when he told me about his will and such. Then we went on to talk about how people get when someone dies. He told me the story about his sister's kids. Ungrateful brats. Talk to you soon.
Marilyn
Slightly embarrassed to admit it, but I've looked at your blog 3 times since you posted this, and I JUST got the "Don't trifle with me" joke! I think the lack of sleep is getting to me....
Rachel
That made me chuckle I must admit. I say, its crazy, toughgirl at Christmastime :).
That made me chuckle I must admit. I say, its crazy, toughgirl at Christmastime :).
Aw, I was hoping for pictures! ;)
I must say Helen, I think I would have done the same thing!
I do everything. I buy all the presents (including the ones TO me), wrap them, plan our trips, plan our parties, plan Sarah's birthday, buy his family's presents and plan the meal with HIS side HERE in my House which has to be cleaned top to bottom every weekend this month for MORE entertaining... and I asked him just once to stop by the mall and pick me up a toy that Sarah desperately wanted for Christmas... and he balked!!!! He's lucky there were not yulelogs nearby because triffle would NOT have cut it!
You're the very image of patience!
You actually trifled him in the head, or just in his general direction? Either way, wow. Sounds like all is forgiven. See, I'm too much of sweet eater to trifle someone upside the head. I'd throw . . . pickles or something like that ;)
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