I wanna......

We have entered a new zone in the house of many. It is a touching and happy zone, there is a lot is music and smiling and skipping going on.
It is the zone whereby teenagers who have met the person of their dreams play lots of songs with the words " I wanna " in them.
There is something very, very touching about hearing this kind of music and BOYZ to MEN coming from behind the door of a gangling great 19 year old boy. He sings along too, not terribly tunefully but he puts his heart into it which makes it sound good anyway.
Jordan is smitten, we are all learning what we are meant to do, very slowly and awkwardly. I have no idea what I am supposed to do when they decide that sitting with me all night is exactly what they want to do. Blimey. It's quite pleasant to have their company as we do like the same sort of stuff on TV, whereas H likes different things mostly, we watch a few shows together but he likes to plug into his laptop and watch gripping things like inventions from.......anytime that lived in black and white and the ladies wore long frocks.
It IS however mildly uncomfortable to see the intimacy. They are kind enough not to be snogging and mauling each other...they'd better stay that way too or I shall recipricate and snog the face off H in front of them, that'll put a stop to it quick enough I'll wager.
It's just a strange thing to see your child learning about this new step. It's almost like going though it again myself. I remember all these emotions so well. What an exciting time.
Mind you, if you think it's skin crawlingly ack to imagine your parents being frisky....wait til it's your kids. It is horrible.
Naturally the mummy in me is thinking " don't hurt him, be nice, " I dread going through an Elton John phase, where all the sad songs are played and doors are locked.
He is 19, I am pretty sure this isn't it, and hope it ISN'T because 19 for a boy is young, Jordan isn't a mature 19 year old. I just hope that for both of them , this is a happy time.
All this stuff just didn't enter my head when I thought of being a mum. I honestly never got past imagining babygros and first days at school, who in their right minds strokes a squirming belly and thinks about what it will be like when that baby is 6' 5" and dating a model?
It'd be nice to be oblivious but these young' uns are just so
shameless and uninhibited. Is that a good thing? I still hate the idea that my mum knows I have 'done it'.I pretend that she doesn't know. I'm sure that when I was dating, I would sit bolt upright next to my date, should I go to his house. If his parents were in the room I think there would be at least one cushion between us, yet here they are, these 2 young people, lying on the couch together and not a care in the world. Is it a goo dthing? I don't know, part of me loves the fact they are relaxed but the other part wishes they didn't want it all and just felt they could take their time.
Shall I switch subjest without so much as a by or leave? I shall.....
I am being a bit stupid. Have no idea what is going on but my head is playing ames with me again and I am so mad at it.
I have gone right back to being afraid of being outside. WHAT??? I thought it may just be the christmas rush, with all that insanity and shoving etc, but it's not christmas now, is it? The sales are over, school is back and yet still, when I go out, I have a pounding heart, my head spins, I want to puke ( wanna puke? haven't heard that in any of the songs from behind Jordan's door)
I get back to the car ( or house) and find my hands bleeding from where I have been digging at them to stop me crumpling to the floor in a dead panicking faint. ARGH! I am so CROSS! Why?
I'm not sad. I don't think I am worried but I just don't want to go out, at all.
I think I want to go, I manage to get out and then suddenly I am so afraid and so shaky, all I want is to be back in the car, or the house.
Oh...subject change again, am I too late? It has been delurking week this week, I have been meaning to beg for lurkers to come out and say hello and make me feel all worthy of my $10.000 +blog value, I love comments in a shameless and most ego inflating way. Say hello, please.
I know you're there because my lovely google thing tells me. It just doesn't say who you are, just sort of where you are. I am excited that England reads me too, England, Canada, USA, Australia, Spain, Japan, Obanikoro???? ( sorry, no idea where that is..useless me!!) All kinds of fabulous places. Thankyou.
I heart my blog!