I think I'll go and eat worms.

So, Sophie's life is miserable. She has no joy, everything is crap, nobody loves her, nobody likes her ..... ( anybody got some worms?)
She thinks that maybe she should stop eating ( alas, she is my daughter, that will never happen!) and just drink alcohol instead ( that would work ,no??) and she has no boyfriend ( like THAT would cheer her up) and she should just give up because no-one even cares that it is her birthday soon ( at least she is mentioning her birthday, that's a step in the right direction at least!) Her life is over.
It is very hard to be cheery around someone who is whining so incessantly without doing anything to change anything.
I am the devil incarnate today, apparantly, she left a message with Jordan for me to collect some leaflets from the body shop for her yesterday, because she was only told a week ago that she had to have them TODAY, naturally Jordan didn't give me the message, so now she can't damn well go to damn college today because nobody got her damn leaflets that nobody but her knew about, and shut up because she has been too busy to get them herself in the 4 days she wasn't in college and wasn't bloody working which means she has no money, crap, boring, everyone is having a life except her.
I love teenagers, especially the girl ones with hormones and attitude and no boyfriends that live in my house.
When she GETS a boyfriend, I am leaving home, please don't let me have to listen to the whning and weeping and wailing that is sure to come along with that little development.
I had a trend of meeting someone and marrying them very quickly and then moving to another country, do you think that is genetic, does she have it do you think? Does anyone have a lovely boy relative that is in another country that would sweep my girl off her feet and whisk her away to pastures new and far away because, honestly, we are not having fun here.
I am excited about the cards and packages that such kind people are sending this child for the birthday that will see her become a woman, that she is dreading, I hope that she cheers up soon because otherwise, when they get here, I might be tempted to see how many I can shove where the sun don't shine . Do the packages have lots of gum in, that will stick her teeth together and shut her up? Please.
Breathe mother, count to 10.........
( ha ha the one thing that IS ok, is that this means she can stay in bed and sleep and sleep......shall I tell her that some men are coming today to cut a new loft entrance, right outside her bedroom door, I think not, I think I will leave that as a happy suprise that will make her day and mine......ooooh! maybe one of the men will be 19 and handsome and like teenage girls that look like they have been asleep in a hedge, during a gale.. and that swear really loudly when they are woken up with banging and sawing noises, what d'ya think?)