would you mind terribly if I asked you to whisper?

It's just that I have this headache. Headache, that doesn't describe it at all. My head has a corkscrew in it, actually 3, one in each temple and one right through the top of my head. Every small noise brings an added crescendo of pain, there is much noise here today.
I have just been to mum's house, it is on the market and someone wanted to view today..the day that estate agents don't work, mum is away...so I went to answer questions I know no answers to and to stroke beautiful staircases and make much of how peaceful that house is. I didn't mention that compared to this house a shack next to the M25 is peaceful. I went early and turned on pretty lamps, ate chocolate and read my book, with no TV on, nobody talking, nobody fighting or jumping or throwing lego. I was a little disgruntled that Mr and Mrs houseviewer arrived on time, selfish buggers.
I was there when it turned dark and didn't cry, I always cry when I go to mum's house when it is dark because my dad still isn't there. He never will be again will he? I didn't cry though, I just sat and looked at his empty chair for longer than was healthy.
I wonder if it will be sad if mum moves, her new house will never have had dad in it, which will mean that it won't feel like there is a gaping hole where he was, but it might feel like we left him behind somewhere.
Can you believe it is almost a year since he died? This time last year we were all blissfully unaware of the sadness that was about to smash us in the heart. He was a bit weary and a little under the weather, he had that niggling sort of pain in his side, the 'pulled muscle' but he was still dad, still working, had just helped us move house by driving that huge truck. No clue that he will filled almost to the brim with that cancer. Unbelievable, still.
Mum went to somewhere I can't remember, to celebrate her sister and brother in law's 50th wedding anniversary. A long drive in a small car with 4 adults and 2 dogs, rather her than me.
Auntie Ann and Uncle Clifford renewed their vows, I think I want to be funny about that. I don't understand why someone would renew their vows after 50 years, it seems to me they remember them pretty darn well to have stuck with it all that time...or...they forgot and that was just as well because whatever they have been doing it's worked. Congratulations Anne and Clifford.
Anyway, I was saying, I have a headache, it has been 5 days with no let up, nothing is making it go away, I am becoming more and more irritable as time goes by. h is very sick, fever, sore throat, aching joints, Seth has it too, his little lymphangeoma eye is puffed up and weeping, that is sure sign that he isn't making it all up.
Isaac is better, having had all last week off school, I am dreading tomorrow because he is having a phase of screaming bloody murder every time we try to get him out of the door. I am ashamed to say that friday we gave in and just kept him home, I just couldn't face any more of that screaming but tomorrow, I will have to prise his fingers off the door jamb and pray my brain and ears don't bleed with the volume of those screams.
Does anyone else feel put out by the fact that as women we always have to keep on keeping on, even when our heads are breaking and our bodies are crumbling because everyone else gets first dibs on the sickbed? H is great though and it is times like this that having him home 24/7 works out, we play nap tag, relay snooze, passing each other on the stairs as we crawl up for a nap as long as we can get away with it.
So, another day is done......nearly bedtime for the noisy people in this house. Seth and his dogs are sitting in me, it is snuggle before bedtime. Hoorah.
May my headache go, soon, very soon because I don't like it. Not at all.