Things that make me go ewwwwww.

When I was 16, I knew that no matter how handsome a boy may be, I would never be able to love him if he wore turtle neck sweaters or was called Nigel.
Funny the things that we feel are unacceptable to us. H could wear a turtle neck and I suspect I would find him every bit as delicious as I do now. When I was 16 though, turtle neck, ewwwwww, shudder.
I dated a handsome fellow for a short while, I so want to tell you his name but what if he googles his own name one day to see if he is on the internet and then he sees that some woman who cooked dinner for him one night was repulsed by him because he had long finger nails. I want you to know his name because had I managed to overcome my revulsion at his REALLY long nails, I would still have been in a quandry because his name was really awful . Darren was his first name which is alright isn't it? Sort of trendy even, his surname was dreadful, immediate connotations of a penis, with 'er' on the end. Thank goodness for his long nails because what if I had fallen in love with him and married him and got stuck with THAT name and then even had to pass it on to my children, sons forever cursed with that name.
Phew.
My friends and my sister kept telling me what a catch he was, handsome and a plumber ( always handy) he was good to his mother. I tried, truly I did, but those nails, they were really long, really filed, really girlie and I just flinched every time he went to hold my hand or touch me, I knew he would snag a jumper should I ever wear one in his presence and well, no woman wants a man with nails THAT long to even think of anything intimate.
they were clean, at least, but just couldn't get past the fact that they made me shudder.
It never occured to me, as a 19 year old, that I could ask him to cut them. Rather like Jordan not thinking to tell Mel that she can't sleep in his bed. ( Happy to say that since I told her myself she goes home at night...which is funny because wasn't she thrown out? Hmmmm, me thinks that may have been a ruse. Foiled my boy. 1 to me I think. )

I would never, ever be able to date anyone that makes any kind of noise when he eats. H never used to make a sound but sometimes, now, I hear him. That worries me. The older I get, the more unacceptable I find noisy eating. Either I will have to pray for deafness or hope noises at dinner are a passing phase. I'm not saying H is a pig eater, far from it, but I really can't bear to hear ANY noises from eating people, except from crunchy foods, through a shut mouth, no-one can help that. I'm not a complete eating nazi. Just crunch things quickly please.

H ended some relationships for weird reasons too, lipgloss was one, he said one girl he dated insisted on wearng copious amounts of cherry lipgloss, he just couldn't stand the thought of having to kiss those slimy lips. Bye bye.
One woman had grey roots....poor thing, he doesn't care a bit about my grey hair, wonder what he'd do if I put on cherry lip gloss? If he grew his nails I would have to say something.
He mentioned a beard again today, oh dear life, not again.
Do you remember his Father Abraham stage?



I hated that beard, really hated it. I told him today that I hated it and asked him please not to do that again. Which means he probably will.

So, what turns you off, have things changed from when you were young? Is your husband/ wife just what you pictured or the complete opposite?

Oh, by the way. I feel a party coming on. March 16th. This is a party with a difference, you can all help. More tomorrow. Can you stand it?