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You couldn't make it up....
I couldn't anyway, who needs to make up tales when the real thing happens every day?
You remember when I wrote this 5 days ago....
I am comforted by the plethora of fire extinguishers we have in this house, we should perhaps read the instructions so we would know how to use them, rather than run around screaming like a demented lunatic wishing we knew what to do.
Do you think, for one moment that I hurried out to the hallway and the landing and read the instructions? Do you? Of course not. Do I wish I had? Oh yes. Why? you may ask.
Because today we had a FIRE. Yes a FIRE, a real one, with flames and smoke and lots of PANICKING.
H has a once splendid lavendar neck thingy that goes in the microwave, it heats up and once upon a time would come out smelling beautiful and was relaxing and soothing for a crinkly and aching neck. It is so old now, that it smells of porridge and is not pleasant although, because he is a man, he doesn't mind smelling like a pot of old oatmeal and he uses it every day. So, today he heated it up and walked away to do something else and Eli heard the microwave 'ping' and brought smelly porridge thing to daddy.
"Good boy, clever boy, thankyou Eli, what a helper you are." We said.
I was busy and H was busy and everyone was busy and Eli was REALLY busy, making dinner or something.
"Hey, I fink there is a toy inna micawave, I fink"
Oh.
OH!!....ARGH..QUICK .. SOPHIE!! SEE IF HE IS COOKING A TOY!!!!
"YES HE IS AND IT IS ON FIRE...REAL FIRE WITH FLAMES!"
I ran, well, if you can call moving the way I do when in a panic running, I cast a wasted glance at the 2 fire extinguishers on the way past and thought about how I told myself I should learn what the hell to do with them but didn't, what a waste of fire extinguishers, damn it all.
There was fire and smoke and melting toy trucks. What did I do? I grabbed a tea towel, you know, a flammable piece of cloth and grabbed the flaming toy truck, I AM SO CLEVER!!!!
Luckily, the sink is quite close to the microwave and with a dexterity I didn't know I had, I did a rather graceful pirouette type move ( oh shut up, I can dream) and flung the burning toy and flaming tea towel in the sink, hoorah! Am total hero.
Shan't be bothered by polish party smoking tonight, I suspect we won't notice. The microwave is dead. Very black and melted. We are safe though and all is well. I am going to read how those extinguishers work.
Yes. I. am.
You remember when I wrote this 5 days ago....
I am comforted by the plethora of fire extinguishers we have in this house, we should perhaps read the instructions so we would know how to use them, rather than run around screaming like a demented lunatic wishing we knew what to do.
Do you think, for one moment that I hurried out to the hallway and the landing and read the instructions? Do you? Of course not. Do I wish I had? Oh yes. Why? you may ask.
Because today we had a FIRE. Yes a FIRE, a real one, with flames and smoke and lots of PANICKING.
H has a once splendid lavendar neck thingy that goes in the microwave, it heats up and once upon a time would come out smelling beautiful and was relaxing and soothing for a crinkly and aching neck. It is so old now, that it smells of porridge and is not pleasant although, because he is a man, he doesn't mind smelling like a pot of old oatmeal and he uses it every day. So, today he heated it up and walked away to do something else and Eli heard the microwave 'ping' and brought smelly porridge thing to daddy.
"Good boy, clever boy, thankyou Eli, what a helper you are." We said.
I was busy and H was busy and everyone was busy and Eli was REALLY busy, making dinner or something.
"Hey, I fink there is a toy inna micawave, I fink"
Oh.
OH!!....ARGH..QUICK .. SOPHIE!! SEE IF HE IS COOKING A TOY!!!!
"YES HE IS AND IT IS ON FIRE...REAL FIRE WITH FLAMES!"
I ran, well, if you can call moving the way I do when in a panic running, I cast a wasted glance at the 2 fire extinguishers on the way past and thought about how I told myself I should learn what the hell to do with them but didn't, what a waste of fire extinguishers, damn it all.
There was fire and smoke and melting toy trucks. What did I do? I grabbed a tea towel, you know, a flammable piece of cloth and grabbed the flaming toy truck, I AM SO CLEVER!!!!
Luckily, the sink is quite close to the microwave and with a dexterity I didn't know I had, I did a rather graceful pirouette type move ( oh shut up, I can dream) and flung the burning toy and flaming tea towel in the sink, hoorah! Am total hero.
Shan't be bothered by polish party smoking tonight, I suspect we won't notice. The microwave is dead. Very black and melted. We are safe though and all is well. I am going to read how those extinguishers work.
Yes. I. am.
posted by The other me | 6:33 pm
10 Comments:
Oh my! Glad you're all safe. Well next time you blog about a safety tip, we're all going to have to remind you to do it right away, just in case!
Kim
Oh and I'm sure with having watched Eli from his dance classes you do a beautiful pirouette. Even with flaming toys and tea towels in hand.
Kim
Oh wow....glad every one is ok and it was extinguished before it got too far. What is the fascination with microwaves? My not-quite-two yr old is forever wanting to play with the microwave!
And I'm sure that you have read the instructions on the extinguisher already!
Oh, my! Well, good news all in all. Toys are better served raw.
Helen! How do you manage to make me SMILE when the topic is about a FIRE! In your House!!? Well, you did! Mostly because I pictured what kind of 'graceful' pirouette I would do in a case like that!
I'm glad you're all okay!!
~Lisa~
Helen, I love the way you write. :) Such a serious matter and I am laughing. I'm so glad everyone is alright.
Thank heavens you are all ok! My Peter is fascinated with the microwave. Lately he likes to set the timer, and each time it beeps he checks to see if DH is home. He does it all day long! I'm dreading the day he pushes the wrong button or dares to put something inside, though.
So, did you read the instructions on the extinguisher yet? ;)
Oh, that must have been scary. I'm glad no one was hurt. When you learn how to use the fire extinguisher will you give us all a lesson? I have no idea!
YIKES! I'm so glad you got it under control so quickly! Ok I'm gonna read the instructions on my extinguishers today! For real!
My kids didn't use toys, it was popcorn. I caught a bag of it on fire once and they thought it was the most awesome thing ever! There was a time when I dared anyone to bring microwavable popcorn to my house.
I've definately got to come back when I have more time to read. It's rare that a blog hooks me from the first post I read but I think yours has. Love your way with words!
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