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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Home is where the heart is.

Today I had a walk down memory lane, well a drive down there at least.
I drove to Plymouth and went to 4 of the houses I have lived in and took pictures. I'm not sure why I did it except it felt right at the time.
I loved all these houses when I lived in them, 3 army homes and a council house, it was 23 years ago I lived in the first one...

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( nice man in garage said I could take pictures, thankyou nice man who bought my first home when the army sold it)

My first married home. 3 levels and I was so proud of it. All the houses are old and a bit unloved now.
Sad.
I did feel though that I was able to look at these sad and tatty looking houses and remember that whatever they looked like on the outside I made them beautiful and comfortable and mine on the inside.

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This house was the one that I was most happy in, I lived here when my Dan was born. I was happy with the first one, this was a little palace to me. Look how neglected it is ( and empty too, wonder if they'd let me have it again!!) I always washed those windows and the drive was tidy and I was happy here.

When the first one left, after we had lived in 2 homes in Germany and another 2 in the UK, the army sent me to this house

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So that I would be closer to family. I don't think I was happy here at all. In fact I couldn't even quite remember if this was the exact house because they all look the same and I didn't feel at all that any part of me was there.
I had to tie the windows shut upstairs because I had to rescue Sophie from the window ledges when she climbed out of them.

Then I was evicted from here because I was no longer married to a serviceman and I got this house.... this veritable box with no roof

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Could it be any uglier??
I loved this house, really loved it. It was home and as I walked though the door I felt comfort and security and real happiness. Just goes to show that even a box can be perfect can't it?
My kids were happy here, we had lovely neighbours and friends and 4 doors down was a little corner shop, how handy.

So, I thought that doing that would help me see that wherever we end up, I will be OK, it will be home. I thought that I would stop itching and losing my hair, that maybe my stomach would stop burning and my heart stop pounding.


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Am still very itchy. Darn it.

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6 Comments:

Blogger Susie said...

Oh, honey. That does look itchy. I think this was a good thing, reminding yourself that home will be where you and your family are safe together. I pray you have some peace about this soon. Uncertainty about where you'll live, especially when there are little ones involved, is enough to make anyone itchy.

1:12 am  
Blogger LosingSanity said...

Oh Helen, that looks horribly ithcy and bothersome! Hope it gets better!

And thanks for taking us along for your trip down memory lane! I'm thinking about you and hoping that this house thing works out for the very best for you and your family!

1:43 am  
Blogger Julie Q said...

Oh, that looks terribly itchy Helen!

Really cool to see some of the places you have lived in Helen. :) I've only had 5 in my entire life. 6 if you count the two weeks Ken and I house hunted after we were first married.

Anyway, still thinking good positive thoughts for you!

2:33 am  
Blogger Clara....in TN said...

Thanks for the tour down memory lane. Goes to show you.....Home is where the heart is. You will make a home no matter where it's located nor how it looks! I am certain of that!

2:01 pm  
Blogger Julie Julie Bo Boolie said...

OMG Helen that's not right! You need some Hives Meds or something!! YIKES!

I'm sure you'll end up somewhere lovely because YOU are lovely and anywhere you live will have to be lovely by extension.

It will work out for you Helen.. I will! Because you are good and deserve good things. Don't forget about the buttered bread Helen.. with your loving heart your bread will ALWAYS be buttered!

P.S. I'm still saving you a spare bedroom!

2:28 pm  
Blogger The other me said...

Julie..this IS with hive medicine! I did go and get some cream that I am promised will heal it. As I type there are 3 people walking around the house....scratch ,itch, scratch, itch.

3:41 pm  

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