Day 2.

Day two is never any fun. Ever.
Day one is fun, all that excitement and moving and exclaiming and hoorah! New house!
Day two is always Oh, now where is? Have you seen? Where did you put?? OUCH bloody thing, who left that there?
Also.......the old house, the house that was horrible anyway but now it isn't even remotely home and yet still we have stuff there. Not much left now, just one last car load of crud that we can't live without, apparently.
I went there today, just to collect the drinks bottles and shoes that somehow managed to escape and hide in the old house.
I took another boot load of crap to the tip, I have been there often, obviously too often because one of the men there today said " We'll have to give you a full time job here any day, man you bring a lot of stuff here!" why yes, how lovely to be recognised, what a pity it was at the tip.
While I Was there, H was here waiting for the Virgin Media man to come and connect us.
I had internet last night, wonderful suprise, stealing someones cyber space and enjoying a surf at someone else's expense. It was very slow though and although I didn't like to complain, I did. Only to myself though, no-one else was awake.
Mutter sigh mutter...it kept turing itself on and off too.
Anyway, H was here and wanted to find his glasses. When I came home I saw that he had pulled at least 23 boxes out of the workshop, they were in the yard, the landing was filled with all kinds of stuff, he'd set up the Imac upstairs, things that had been so neatly stacked were now all over the bed, floor etc. It was very hard to be patient but I was, because I know that he always clears itup, just in his time and his way, which is hard on a control freak type person.
True to form, when I came back from picking up the boys, he was completely orgainsed, all tidied and knowing where everything was, he cooked a lovely dinner and is firmly back in my good books again.
We have had visitors of the popping in kind, lovely, even lovelier when they come bearing cake.
Sophie came tonight, loud and happy and having been to the doctor, hopefully she will be on an even keel again soon.

She is so beautiful....and so loud

I love it when she dresses like this, she just looks so beautiful.
She has a boyfriend, the one that she truly likes, he is doing all the right things, taking her out for the day and giving her presents, I so hope she can allow herself to enjoy it and not run for the hills. Time will tell.
Tomorrow H and I are headed back to the old house to finish up, it is pretty much done, just a few more bits and quick sweep around. I found myself talking to myself today, packing up the car and as I left each room, vacuuming and saying goodbye ( and good riddance! I always say goodbye to houses, make sure I leave good feelings and take my heart with me) I started to clean the bathroom...
" what are you doing? It's alright as it is, it was covered in pooh when you moved here, why clean it for her? PUT THE BLEACH DOWN!"
"look, whatever she gave to you shouldn't enter into it, you have to look and ask yourself how you would like to find this house and just do it"
"yes BUT..."
"just do it"
So I compromised, I certainly didn't get on hands and knees and polish up a storm. I did, however make it clean and presentable.
I am proud of how that house looks, that is, quite honestly how it should be. I can go around in circles saying how I shouldn't have to clean etc. etc. but in fact, we have to do whatever feels right for us. The only person making me do this, is me.
H has the right attitude to all of this, he just does what he does, he is always so measured about things. I am always struck by how different we are, I did actually take on some of his ways thismove but on the wholeI am a planner, I am ridiculously preoccupied with what must be done, must do it, plan it, think about it, do it, do it some more.
H is completely unruffled,like still waters, nothing apparant on the outside, he waits and waits, routine is never interrupted. Steady as you go.
Me run, run, run, worry itch.
H, plod, work, nap, plod.
Tortoise and the hare.
Guess who wins?
Yes. He gets as much done as me, he gets it done as well as me. I think by the time I am 76 I might have adapted and learned a few of his tricks. At the monet it just annoys the hell out of me, I am yet young excuse me.
The boys are happy. They are at home, they sleep and laugh and I know this is the place for us to be.
Isaac had such a rough time with this move, we had many tantrums, much door slamming, lots of crying and shouting and telling of how he likes THIS house.
I brought him with me to this house a few times last week, when we had the keys. He opened and shut doors ( a lot) he explored and used keys, then he opened the front door, the back door and both workshop doors and he ran...right through the house, out the back door, into the yard, in the workshop, out the workshop and back in the front door ... 3 times, then he stopped and said " Ah. Now I like it." So be it.
Atthe old house, the very first night he woke up afraid and then we discovered we wer being broken into. He woke up several times there and would say he was afraid.
I was afraid the whole time. It's not until I was away on holiday that I realised just how badly I needed to get away from that house and it's dark and oppressive feelings.
Now we are here and I feel the difference ( already) Isaac and Eli's room in particular is wonderful. I love their room, they love it too.
I am sure that this is the very best thing we could have done. We all keep stopping and then thinking of how different things are going to be, how bright the future is looking.
amazing how 4 walls can make such a difference. I absolutely believe that houses hold spirits, they retain the essence of the emotions that have been there.
That last house had too much bad and miserable things in it for me to overcome. I felt it every minute I was there. I would drive into the driveway and feel such sadness at the idea of having to go in. Only once did I walk into the door and feel as though I was at home.
I never got used to the smell, this house already smells like home! What a relief.
Julie Bo put some money into my paypal account last week, today I bought on ebay the most sumptuous curtians for our bedroom, I made the bedding at the old house in an effort to make it feel more like home.


The windows here are huge ( bay windows, love them!) and I can't face making curtains to fit...So I bought these.

Thankyou Julie, I shall think of you every time I look at them and shall thank the internets for you everyday!
On that note, I am off to curl up on my sofa and be cosy with the fire on. Heaven.