Pictures and tales.

So, we're getting there, slowly but surely, settling in, belonging, relaxing, arranging and making our mark, never have I taken so long to make a home my own and yet, it was mine from the moment I stepped through the front door.
Pictures, I took some.....here they are for your close scrutiny and enjoyment.


Look at my heavenly bedroom, all cosy and nearly finished, I put the headboard up at last...only 4 inches too high for goodness sake, never mind, tomorrow is another day. Even so, I walk into this room and my whole being relaxes, I feel immediately safe and ready to sleep. It is warm and soft and H sits on the bed and says things like " Yep, this is a pretty neat room alright" which, really, that is such high praise from H, almost embarrassingly over the top for him.
H walked the boys to school ( oh joy) again today and after I said goodbye and made the boys beds, tidied a bit I went back to bed and woke up at noon. Glory be.

Now, this next picture tells such a happy tale, in that other house, the boys never played upstairs, ever. Not once did they take a toy up there, they went to bed and slept when H sat in their room with them until they fell asleep. So when Elijah had Hannah home to play today and I saw this...


My heart sang a bit, in fact quite beautifully and loudly and even in tune.


My kitchen that gets more lovely as the days go by, more loved and splendid and we are almost able to say that we know where everything goes, although H and I are still quietly having a battle of wills on where the paper towel should live ( not in the cupboard, who wants to root in a cupboard when the 6 year old throws a whole yoghurt over our guest? WHO? Not me, that's who)
In fact so beloved is my kitchen that I am going to post another picture.


Not sure that the fluffy covered hot water botles should live right there on that shelf right by the door but so far it works ( and will soon be warm enough to hide the HWBs until nest winter)
And so as not to leave Seth out, here is the picture I tried to take of his room, he had Lewis ( brother to Hannah and best friend to Seth, which means Seth and Eli both had a friend here today and Isaac, though disliking inviting his own friend, was very grumpy and quite naughty and then he was VERY naughty and threw the yoghurt, which multiplied about 35 times mid air until it hit..Lewis, the table, walls, Lewis again, floor, fireplace and Lewis, again.)
Anyway, Lewis was here and because 2 x seven year old boys together almost always ends in talk of bottoms ( and things like "take a shot of THAT then!" as trousers are threatened to be pulled down and lots of high pitched guffawing ensues) well because of that, I shot this picture, told them to keep their buttocks to themselves and high tailed it out of there, also, I didn't know that 7 year ols boys could smell so sweaty when they were playing basketball, after Isaac had thrown ALL the basketballs over the wall ( yeah have some fun with your buddy NOW!) They retreated to the bedroom to play with the indoor basketball hoop. Pheeeeeoooooooie, pew, had to open a window in there.



That's as far as we are, no more pictures until we have done some more, lovely to be taking our time and doing things at a leisurely pace.
I was so touched by Elijah as he welcomed Hannah into our home, as soon as she was in, he knelt down to take off her shoes, is he not the most divine and mannerly little man? No, he is not, he is a great big flossy , no sooner were the shoes off her feet than they were on his. I heard him say to her " hey lets duss play at drethin' up shall we?" and I nipped THAT in the bud because I KNEW he wanted her school skirt and tights ( of a soft, red woollen, style)
I know, I know, he's four, don't panic, it's a phase, he'll grow out of it, well maybe I should video the walk he does, that'd stop you in your tracks alright, he is a midget drag queen, he is. Also, glorious and only four, we can run with the skirts and sequin attraction for a while longer, though it's getting harder to find cute, mostly.
No news on the girl child, I suppose her phone is dead and needs recharging. No news is good news though, I hope.

But when she was bad....

She got kicked out of tattoo face man's house.
Dear Lord, it is relentless, who knows why but he called and told her to pick up her stuff and get out ( except 'get out!' began with an F and also ended with an F) she hasn't been there, something has made her uncomfortable and so she has been sleeping anywhere else but there, he has taken umbridge at that and so she is out.
I am ashamed to admit that my bowels turn to water and I fiind myself saying rather too loudly " Well, now what? because you know you can't come here"
She never seems upset at that and says "Yeah I know" within minutes she said " sorted" and is going to live with Naomi and her mum, because Naomi's mum loves her. Trying to get her to understand that Naomi's mum won't love her for long if she eats them out of house and home, makes an almight mess, doesn't come home when she should, does come home when she is drunk at 3am with a gaggle of n'er do wells, refuses to look for a job and sleeps til 2pm........I suspect Naomi's mum will join the rapidly growing ranks of the 'been there done that's' in Sophie's life.
I am all done with form filling and phone calls, we are registered and legal, official and home, really home.
I have put up curtains, put away stuff, cleaned floors and even have a tin of paint in the toilet, when everyone is asleep I find myself in the loo painting a bit of trim.
When I said this house was perfect, I meant it. The essence of it is is divine, comforting and homely. The decor leaves much to be desired. The lavatory in particular was hideous. Olive green and whit trim, grey and white chequered effect sticky back plastic as a splash back,old lady silky effect stripey green and beige curtains. Very very horrible. So I am just tittivating it up and removing all traces of olive green ( oh the whole inside of the door is olive green with white plastic door handle of elderly persons type)
H has put the feet back on the sofas and chair, we moved ( at last) the large recycling bin of wires, adaptors, DVD players and video players, floors are clean and clear, stinky old stripey curtains are gone, beautiful floor length posh ones are up.
We have lampshades and energy saving bulbs where old fashioned burn your eyeball naked lights used to hang. It's beginning to feel like this may be real and we can stay. ( silent pleading in my heart and mind)
H is cooking dinner this evening, Eli is at gramma's because it is wednesday and this morning he said "Hey! Wezzday, less duss doe a dramma's today O-Tay?"
"well, not really because you have school now on wednesdays, you can't go to gramma's."
"Oh, O-Tay I tan duss doe der when I det outta stool nen, phone her and tell her I will be der after stool, she tan buy me a pasty and I eat it der for my dinner. O-tay, dat's great."So that was that and he is there, it being wednesday and all.
I walked to town and pottered, met Sophie and Jane for lunch ( which Jane didn't eat because when she says she is going to do something about her weight, she means more than whine about it while stuffing her face with cheese and bacon laden potato skins, so Jane had a sparkling water and enormous sense of pride, I had the potato skins thankyouverymuch. Jane! Help me! )
H and I are thawing a bit, losing that frozen state of stunned and fearful gratitude that we felt on moving in here, slowly beginning to feel a sense of purpose, we even had some weak sunshine today, no biting wind and NO RAIN, truly a marvellous day. ( Except for Sophie and her threatened homelessness, which seems to be averted for another week or two)

Day 2.

Day two is never any fun. Ever.
Day one is fun, all that excitement and moving and exclaiming and hoorah! New house!
Day two is always Oh, now where is? Have you seen? Where did you put?? OUCH bloody thing, who left that there?
Also.......the old house, the house that was horrible anyway but now it isn't even remotely home and yet still we have stuff there. Not much left now, just one last car load of crud that we can't live without, apparently.
I went there today, just to collect the drinks bottles and shoes that somehow managed to escape and hide in the old house.
I took another boot load of crap to the tip, I have been there often, obviously too often because one of the men there today said " We'll have to give you a full time job here any day, man you bring a lot of stuff here!" why yes, how lovely to be recognised, what a pity it was at the tip.
While I Was there, H was here waiting for the Virgin Media man to come and connect us.
I had internet last night, wonderful suprise, stealing someones cyber space and enjoying a surf at someone else's expense. It was very slow though and although I didn't like to complain, I did. Only to myself though, no-one else was awake.
Mutter sigh mutter...it kept turing itself on and off too.
Anyway, H was here and wanted to find his glasses. When I came home I saw that he had pulled at least 23 boxes out of the workshop, they were in the yard, the landing was filled with all kinds of stuff, he'd set up the Imac upstairs, things that had been so neatly stacked were now all over the bed, floor etc. It was very hard to be patient but I was, because I know that he always clears itup, just in his time and his way, which is hard on a control freak type person.
True to form, when I came back from picking up the boys, he was completely orgainsed, all tidied and knowing where everything was, he cooked a lovely dinner and is firmly back in my good books again.
We have had visitors of the popping in kind, lovely, even lovelier when they come bearing cake.
Sophie came tonight, loud and happy and having been to the doctor, hopefully she will be on an even keel again soon.

She is so beautiful....and so loud

I love it when she dresses like this, she just looks so beautiful.
She has a boyfriend, the one that she truly likes, he is doing all the right things, taking her out for the day and giving her presents, I so hope she can allow herself to enjoy it and not run for the hills. Time will tell.
Tomorrow H and I are headed back to the old house to finish up, it is pretty much done, just a few more bits and quick sweep around. I found myself talking to myself today, packing up the car and as I left each room, vacuuming and saying goodbye ( and good riddance! I always say goodbye to houses, make sure I leave good feelings and take my heart with me) I started to clean the bathroom...
" what are you doing? It's alright as it is, it was covered in pooh when you moved here, why clean it for her? PUT THE BLEACH DOWN!"
"look, whatever she gave to you shouldn't enter into it, you have to look and ask yourself how you would like to find this house and just do it"
"yes BUT..."
"just do it"
So I compromised, I certainly didn't get on hands and knees and polish up a storm. I did, however make it clean and presentable.
I am proud of how that house looks, that is, quite honestly how it should be. I can go around in circles saying how I shouldn't have to clean etc. etc. but in fact, we have to do whatever feels right for us. The only person making me do this, is me.
H has the right attitude to all of this, he just does what he does, he is always so measured about things. I am always struck by how different we are, I did actually take on some of his ways thismove but on the wholeI am a planner, I am ridiculously preoccupied with what must be done, must do it, plan it, think about it, do it, do it some more.
H is completely unruffled,like still waters, nothing apparant on the outside, he waits and waits, routine is never interrupted. Steady as you go.
Me run, run, run, worry itch.
H, plod, work, nap, plod.
Tortoise and the hare.
Guess who wins?
Yes. He gets as much done as me, he gets it done as well as me. I think by the time I am 76 I might have adapted and learned a few of his tricks. At the monet it just annoys the hell out of me, I am yet young excuse me.
The boys are happy. They are at home, they sleep and laugh and I know this is the place for us to be.
Isaac had such a rough time with this move, we had many tantrums, much door slamming, lots of crying and shouting and telling of how he likes THIS house.
I brought him with me to this house a few times last week, when we had the keys. He opened and shut doors ( a lot) he explored and used keys, then he opened the front door, the back door and both workshop doors and he ran...right through the house, out the back door, into the yard, in the workshop, out the workshop and back in the front door ... 3 times, then he stopped and said " Ah. Now I like it." So be it.
Atthe old house, the very first night he woke up afraid and then we discovered we wer being broken into. He woke up several times there and would say he was afraid.
I was afraid the whole time. It's not until I was away on holiday that I realised just how badly I needed to get away from that house and it's dark and oppressive feelings.
Now we are here and I feel the difference ( already) Isaac and Eli's room in particular is wonderful. I love their room, they love it too.
I am sure that this is the very best thing we could have done. We all keep stopping and then thinking of how different things are going to be, how bright the future is looking.
amazing how 4 walls can make such a difference. I absolutely believe that houses hold spirits, they retain the essence of the emotions that have been there.
That last house had too much bad and miserable things in it for me to overcome. I felt it every minute I was there. I would drive into the driveway and feel such sadness at the idea of having to go in. Only once did I walk into the door and feel as though I was at home.
I never got used to the smell, this house already smells like home! What a relief.
Julie Bo put some money into my paypal account last week, today I bought on ebay the most sumptuous curtians for our bedroom, I made the bedding at the old house in an effort to make it feel more like home.


The windows here are huge ( bay windows, love them!) and I can't face making curtains to fit...So I bought these.

Thankyou Julie, I shall think of you every time I look at them and shall thank the internets for you everyday!
On that note, I am off to curl up on my sofa and be cosy with the fire on. Heaven.

We're in.

Were in and getting settled, can't say as it feels like home yet and after wednesday night,( when we were woken by Isaac who said he heard voices and was scared....only to discover that there were people with a crow bar trying to break in ), well that could take a while. We are battened down, locked up, secured and faithful, hoping that we can do well with what we have.
Internet tomorrow ( we hope) am so hoplessly out of the loop that I know not what the date is, 1st september is when the man is coming, which has been 'tomorrow' all week according to me!