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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Who nose?

I am going to reveal things in this post that I never imagined I would tell a soul, here goes.
There are many advantages to getting older, I am more comfy in my skin ( perhaps because it is so much looser than it used to be) I care not about having to dye my greying hair. I don't worry too much about wrinkles, wearing elasticated waists is my right, I have earned that right by living 45 years and having 6 children.
When I was 30 and Daniel ran headfirst into me and laughed saying " Haha! That was as good as a bouncy castle!!" I was a little sad, now? Being squishy and comfy for little people is what it's all about.
I grunt when I bend over, I huff when I get up, I look at shoes and my first thought is "oooh, they look comfy" and I don't care. Marvellous.
I cannot though, no matter what, come to terms with the hair situation. Thin hair where I want it to be thick and lustrous, tick and course where I want it not to be at all, ever. What is happening to me? Sweet tweezers, I could spend all day plucking hairs and would never be done with it. Waxing doesn't work ( except I didn't try a professional waxing because that would mean walking into a beauty salon and saying " Hello, could you rip my beard out please?" and I'm not ready for that. ) Anyway, I have discovered that if I use a high beam LED torch and sit with tweezers, I see hairs that in the normal light of day I can't see.....I sit and shine that light and every time I GASP! WTH????? I do this very often, almost obsessively because I don't want a beard on my double chin. This evening, after my bath I sat on the edge of the bed and began the process ( Hell's teeth where the hell did THAT one come from? ARGH! Look that one is at least a foot long, how did I not see that yesterday?? Etc. Etc.)
So, pluck, exclaim, mumble, weep, pluck....and then, who knows why, perhaps I wasn't depressed enough, I wondered if I have extra hairy nostrils ( is this personal enough yet? TMI? Well, there you go, don't say you weren't warned) I do have sort of hairy nostrils but the hair is well enough contained and I have a bit of a cold so there is no way I am plucking nostril hair.....but hang on....WHAT?? What in the world? I have the most enormous fleshy sort of swelling up my left nostril. I promise you I wan't being completely revolting and trying to see if I have brains up my nose or anything, just a flash of light up there to see if I have a forest of ugly black hair that I should do something about, this swelling is HUGE..and really fleshy and tumoury looking.
There, I said it. Tumour.
I don't think I am a hypochonriac as a rule, unless googling Lupus and knowing I have it, when all I have is a massive case of in the headitis.
So, you know I googled ' nasal cancer' and tumours up nostril, pictures. Hmmm, no picture but SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS! Blocked nose I HAVE THAT! OH NO CAN'T BREATH OUT OF MY LEFT NOSTRIL! May have watering eyes YES! YES that one time when I fell asleep on the sofa, when I woke up my eyes were REALLY watering!
I must say, here and now that laughing at my predicament is not kind.
I am on the threshold of exciting things, LONDON with my H and NO KIDS!
NEW YORK with girls and no kids OR husbands and much laughing and ......can I still travel if I have to have half my head taken off to rid myself of the tumour? I wonder if I might get a nicer nose if they have to remove this fat old thing I've had so long.
Then I sit and tell myself how stupid all this is and STOP! Ridiculous....but....you know, this is what happens, people just tell their doctor they have this little thing and WHAM!
Have you got swellings up your nose? When you get a cold does your nasal passage get all red and fleshy looking? Have ANY of you ever shone a bright light up your nose and seen a huge fleshy lumpy thing that look SO wrong?
Until I saw that lump it didn't hurt ( but now? OUCH, is so sore and I can feel it and it maybe growing as I type!) My nose is running yet blocked ( but have a cold, with sneezing and more sneezing)
I am going to have to stop googling health things, stick with 'Where to stay in New York!' and 'Where to eat in New York' and 'vacation rentals in NEW YORK!' actually, while I'm here, my tracker tells me that quite a few people read from the New York area, when you've finished shining flashlights up your nostrils, would you mind telling my friends and I if you know a great place to stay, there will be quite a few of us, could be 7, maybe 12...could be even more. We need somewhere we can afford, where we can all stay and mingle, meet up and laugh, easy access to all places fun. Any tips would be wonderful, it looks like the trip is going to at the end of June rather than July.
The trip has had a marvellous effect on me, in that I have managed to stop eating junk, I would love to lose a chin and some flabby belly before I fly to the big apple so I am trying to eat some small ones, in place of CAKE and BREAD and FAT! It feels pretty good but to may shame I am always so horrified by how often I catch myself going to snack and graze, stuff and munch.
I also get cross with myself when I realise just how much I adore good food, for lunch I had the juiciest tuna steak, heavenly.....why do I not do this always? Tsk Tsk.
This is the time, everyone in bed, peace and quiet, good telly, this is when I do my worst eating ( the very worst time to do it!) crisps, cereal, toast, cookies, whatever I can get my pudgy hands on, I'll eat it.
Tonight I had oatmeal with my medicine, not a bit hungry, I'm told it takes 3 weeks to get into a good habit, that seems a long time doesn't it? At least with the 2 trips looming I have something to aim for.
The boys are back at school tomorrow, it has been a very long weekend, so cold that none of us could bear to go out for any length of time but they have been so cooped up and although we had many crafty things to do, they got bored with them and had to do the jumping and shouting and fighting.....this afternoon we did have a blissful moment or 3 where they had piles of books and actually read them with great joy and shared stories ( or facts because we read encyclopedias in this house of Aspergers and fact finders!)



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( phew, much ado was made about how Mels baby is like that 30 weeker....yet no mention was made of how it got in there, maybe he already read up on it!

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They aren't bad little gits really but they are very loud. They are also horribly messy, they shed muck, where Eli is, there mess is also. Where Seth is there will be stink. They're cute though, aren't they?
Hey, just had a thought, wonder if that encyclopedia has anything on tumours up the nose?

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3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

For the love of God, you have an ingrown hair. Reach in and pop it. Now you do realize I have eyelid tumor? My eyelid has been twitching for over a week now. Can you google the symptom and report back to me?
Is it June yet? how about now? now?
Hugs
Cathy

12:19 am  
Blogger noname said...

Lol. The mind is a wonderous thing and all that. Amazing how we learn though.

I used to read the encyclopedias and dictionaries as a kid. Boy howdy wasn't I fun?

I once stabbed myself in the knee (was opening a hard stuck window over my sink and squatted down near the dish drainer) and it didn't hurt until i saw it. Took a couple of stitches and if I hadn't noticed the river of blood in the sink, I'm not sure I would have looked down until I realized my leg was wet.

6:09 am  
Blogger Jenn said...

Gosh I can't wait to meet you in person!! We'll all be peas in a pod we will - A great big loud smelly pod - and we'll laugh and fart and just be us, and not give a tinkers cuss if anyone else looks at us oddly.
Well you know it's New York. We'll blend right in!

7:21 pm  

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