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Yes...this is ALL about me, and mine. Marvellously self indulgent, feel free to tell me how splendid I am, leave comments, nice ones please, I have little kids and teenagers who can do the rude stuff. I am a grandma, to the glorious Joshua, I'm allowed to look frazzled and weary, I earned it. The older I get, the more I see that hanging on and being patient is worth it! They ( whoever 'they' are) are so right when they say you never know what is around the corner, it isn't always an articulated truck! It is vital to make the time for making memories, friends are the greatest treasure, I love mine. I am rich!

Friday, August 29, 2008

Could get confusing!

Writing 2 blogs, that is. If I ever write about what I ate on here you may have to pop on over to
THIS ONE and see what I did all day, I am pretty sure that I will mix them up at some stage.

It's been a great day, my favourite kind, kids doing what they are asked, H took them on a hike while I went out shopping with my lovely friend Jane. Got a great deal on diet cokes, which helps, diet coke and an apple feels like a dessert, lovely.
I am really loving my new relationship with the girlie one.
She was paid today for the first time, a small pay cheque because she was only paid for 2 weeks, she paid me, paid some money off her overdraft, paid H back the money she has borrowed and had some to fritter. She has been working SO many hours, when she is paid next month, she will be laughing, she will have more than enough to do whatever she pleases and pay her bills etc. She is a good girl, always pays back what she owes without a quibble, doesn't complain a bit about paying her board to live here, she knows that if she lived anywhere else, she would get a tiny room for minimum of £80 a week and then have utilities, council tax etc to pay, not to mention food. Here she gets her laundry done, dinner cooked, her favourite foods waiting for her and she feels safe.
I loved shopping today and buying her some things for her room, smelly things, clothes, face wipes. For so long ( way too long) I have had to say no to everything, not do anything that would seem to be rewarding her for the way she behaved, having to think everything through, be 5 steps ahead. I love being able to just 'be' with her, to laugh with her, tell her to shut up and be laughing about it ( she can talk the hind legs off a donkey) watch her play with the boys.
When she comes in with pack of bacon and asks if she can have it for breakfast I can say yes, ( not have to say no and explain that bacon can be used for a meal for everyone and if she wants some she has to somehow contribute to the family....oh how tiring it can be to have to use every single thing as a lesson)
To hand her a few £s to go out because she has been working all week, to tell her to have a good time and know that she will be home when she says she will be.
I am still afraid for her, still lie awake and hold my breath waiting to hear her come in, still shake with fear when she tells me things like she did this morning... she walked home from a friends house at 3am ( yes still the am thing although every 2 weeks instead of every night) and stopped to stroke a dog being walked by an older man ( DING DING DING go the alarm bells) walked on and then saw the man fall to the ground..." was this the right thing to do mum? I went back and asked if he was alright ( DING DING DIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!) and he didn't move so I ran back to my friends house but they wouldn't come and help me so I went" and I stopped listening and started to "OH SOPHIE!!!! Darlin' what you should have done is ..A)not stay out til 3am, stayed at Alis or come home much earlier, B) not ever stop to stroke a dog, being walked by a man at 3am and when you see him fall you RUN AND USE YOUR MOBILE PHONE TO CALL THE POLICE AND LET THEM DEAL WITH IT! That is a prize trick used by perverts and wrong 'uns to snatch girls and children, make out you need help and then GRAB!
She will be the death of me , if it weren't for those angels who follow her...oh I can't even go there.
She has a 'thing' going on with someone at work which is both touching to witness and scary because he is the manager and if it goes on and then stops, what then? She will hate going to work, he may treat her differently....not a good idea but you can't interfere in affairs of the heart as far as 19 year olds are concerned. In the grand scheme of things it is a gloriously normal 19 year old thing to have to worry about, I'll take it and enjoy it for what it is.
Oh..Heh! She was telling me this morning that they had been texting each other and he had said something about 'wooing' her, she laughed and said how she told him that was an old fashioned word and she teased him about it.
I said that if that carries on he will be after courting her.
Fast forward to this evening when she got home.
"hey mum, guess what I was talking to **** about what you said and I told him that you said I should ask him if that meant we would soon be cavorting!"
OMG!
Luckily he led her on for a while and then said " I like the thought of cavorting, good suggestion from your mum...another old fogey word is courting."
"Ha!! THAT's the word my mum used..what did I say before?"
One of the things I love about her is her ability to laugh at herself.
She's out again this evening, Itold her again and again to come right home, we live right by the town I hate that she walks right out fo town, through subways to go to people's homes when she could go out and come straight home.
This mothering malarchy is exhausting, but I suspect I wouldn't change a thing.
I had a moment today when I thought that maybe I should watch what I say more in front of the boys though. Went over the road to my friends car, Seth following, we stood right outside the hellacious neighbours' house and Seth, raising his hand in greeting said " Well HELLO CLAMPETTS!"
Bullseye son, well done.

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5 Comments:

Blogger LosingSanity said...

Glad to hear that things are going so well for Sophie. I hope things continue to improve with her and she can finally find peace and happiness in life and you are able to sit back, sigh and know that she will be ok.

11:26 pm  
Blogger justLacey said...

I love to read about Sophie doing well and just being normal. May it last a long, long time.

11:45 pm  
Blogger Little Nothings said...

Oh Miss Helen, how I love your blog. I come to you from North Carolina every night wanting and needing to know what hilarous, wonderfully insightful things you have to share and say. Might I also add that you NEVER let me down... something new & wonderful all the time! Many thanks from North Carolina and many wishes of luck with your venture on the other blog! Lisa

3:28 am  
Blogger G said...

Well done Sophie. Well done. I am so glad to hear this sweetie. I hope that she continues to do so well. You are an amazing mother. You don't realize how great youare!!

3:56 am  
Blogger Julie Q said...

Too funny about Seth! :)

I do hope Sophie continues to move forward with her life Helen. I am glad you are able to see how your hard work is paying off. Being a Mom is so hard some days.

1:22 pm  

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